E's Surf Report

amen brother

e, you got it. i think about that kind of stuff too, whenever i get down.

nice to sneak a session in before the storm.

photo number one reeks of the looming landlord.

I was in a shitty mood a few days back, wandering around northbeach. I dropped into Adler Musuem and got one of those cheese wedges and a beer and was just sitting there eating and reading the paper, and probably looking like I was feeling sorry for myself.

The bartender pauses in front of me and says "I don't know what's going on in your life and I don't want to know. You have food, a good drink and something to read. Seems your doing ok."

Hmm.

e...thanks for the slice of humble pie.
health, ten fingers, ten toes...the little stuff,
always good to be thankful for it.

tucker's bartender sounds like they have served
many, many drinks. specs is awesome.

pray the wind stays off it for low tide today.
could be.....better?

good weekends to ya'll!!

cheers.

Esus instructs his flock to play nice today

awesome!

Hilarious!!!

thanks, e...

ooo my head

ooo my ballz

I really enjoyed e's words today and know I have it pretty good, but still I think I would have told tucker's bartender to go fuck himself.

i wonder how much the real Jesus looked like all the images of him?

FOUND: A set of keys this a.m. in the grass at Pacheco and the Great Highway. Big key ring with a lot of keys. If you lost your keys, I may have found them. Contact: nightbirdflying2001@yahoo.com to claim.
Kit

thanks, that's where I hid them, I had to walk home in my wetsuit.

Holy BeeGeeSus

Well, smart ass, I left the keys in that spot for 2 hours, and no one picked them up. You wouldn't "hide" a keyring like this one, as it appears to have too many important keys on it. But thanks for reading and replying -- you are pretty funny. Ha ha.

jesus is black

black is the new Jesus

Holy Jesus!

I don't care what the white man say. Santa Claus was black.

Jesus is a woman. Probably a black woman. Someone took her photo then colored a beard on her with a sharpie. Going to the Giants opener tonight. Stoked!

posted by:jettys, like hippys, are a failed experiment...bitch!

puh rrrat a tat tat
brrr tat tat
brat a tat a tat a
puh rrrat a tat tat

I�m suppose to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole beach on my shoulders
I ain�t never suppose to show it, my crew ain�t suppose to know it
Even if it means going toe to toe with the niceness cretins, it don�t matter
I never drag �em in battles that I can handle less I absolutely have to
I�m suppose to set an example, I'm a self confident winner
My crew looks for me to feed �em, when we get hungry we eat marine invertebrates for dinner
That E shit, I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There�s a certain line, you just don�t cross it, and he crossed it
I heard them say Kelly�s name on the blog and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit went way beyond some BVB and Blakestah shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent so much energy on it, honestly I�m exhausted
Now it�s never my object for someone to get smacked
But this fool E is just askin' for his blog to get hacked
It wasn�t my intention, my intentions were good
But if the hackysacker feels threatened then he oughta move out the 'hood.
You coulda gone through your whole career with out ever mentioning ____
And that�s just outta respect by not running your mouth
And talking about something that you know nothing about
I tried to stay out, sayin' it just wasn�t my beef, So I did
I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth.
But enough is enough, I can't let it be,
It's my mission to KEEP SF SUCKA FREE!

Poem To The Freaks

To live as I have done is surely absurd
in cheap hotels and furnished rooms
To walk up side streets and down back alleys
talking to oneself
and screaming to the sky obscenities
That the arts is a rotten business indeed
That mediocrity and the rage of fashion rules
My poems and paintings piled on the floor
To be one with himself
A Saint
A Prince
To Perservere
Through storms and hard-ons
Through dusk and dawns
To kick death in the ass
To be passed over like a bad penny
A midget
An Ant
A roach
A freak
A Hot Piece
An Outlaw
Raise your cup and drink my friend
Drink for those who walk alone in the night
To the crippled and the blind
To the lost and the damned
To the lone bird flying in the sky
Drink to wonder
Drink to me
Drink to pussy and dreams
Drink to madness and the stars
I hear the birds singing

May 16, 1975
San Francisco, CA

Dibs on Brazil and Holland

Oh yeah. And thanks to whoever posted that comment yesterday about his relationship with his wife, and what he's gone through. That was extremely personal and written really well. I've never been in that situation, but the way you wrote it made me feel as though I have.

Spain and Argentina

post REposters are the lamest of needy attention lamers

I'll take Germany and France then.

when I'm drinking, I'll take anything that walks, talks and lays down

devil's slide being closed SUCKS!

i hope it stays closed all summer

Bet it would get fixed if some fat cat lived in Montara and wanted to use it!

innn..ger...land.

pretty good rhyming for a rich white kid

dig the Jack Micheline poem.

Nice work Sacto!

going to Panama for a couple of weeks.
leave next weekend- ahh, warm water....
anyone been there and have any words of advice/suggestions/things to avoid...?
not looking for surfspots (don't want to provoke the "namer's" folks).
speaking of jesus:

www.jesusoftheweek.com

I wish I was making that drop right now.

i like that rug

Wild Thing

And I'm running,
running wild,
running free,
like soldiers down
the beach,
like someone
just threw me
the ball.
My thighs pump
thru the air
like tires
rolling down
the highway
big & round
eating up the ground
of America
but I never been any
further than 42nd Street.
Below that is as
unfamiliar as my
father´s face,
foreign as the smell of
white girls´pussy,
white girls on the bus,
white girls on TV
My whole world is
black & brown & closed,
till I open it
with a rock,
christen it with
blood.
BOP BOP
the music
pops thru me
like electric shocks,
my sweat is a
river running
thru my liver
green with hate,
my veins bulge out
like tomorrow,
my dick is
the Empire State Building,
I eat your fear
like a chimpanzee
ow ow
ow whee
ow!
My sneakers glide off
the cement like
white dreams
looking out at the world
thru a cage of cabbage
& my mother´s fat,
hollering don´t do this
& don´t do that.
I scream against the restraint
of her big ass sitting on my face
drowning my dreams in sameness.
I´m scared to go
it hurts me to stay.
She sits cross-legged
in front the TV
telling me no
feeding me
clothing me
bathing me in her ugliness
high high in the sky
18th floor of the projects.
Her welfare check buys me $85 sneakers
but can´t buy me a father.
She makes cornbread from Jiffy box mix
buys me a coat
$400, leather like everybody else´s.
I wear the best, man!
14 karat gold chain
I take off before I go wildin´.
Fuck you nigger!
Nobody touches my gold!
My name is Leroy
L-E-R-O-Y
bold gold
I got the goods
that make the ladies
young & old
sign your name across my heart
I want you to be my baby
Rapper D
Rapper G
Rapper I
my name is lightning
across the sky
So what I can´t read
you spozed to teach me
you the teacher
I´m the ape
black ape
in white sneakers
hah hah
I rape
rape
rape
I do the wild thing
I do the wild thing
My teacher asks me
what would I do
if I had 6 month
to live.
I tell her I´d fuck her,
sell dope & do the wild thing.
My thighs are locomotives
hurling me thru the
underbrush of Central Park,
the jungle.
I either wanna be a cop
or the biggest dope dealer in Harlem
when I grow up.
I feel good!
It´s a man´s world,
my sound is king
I am the black man´s sound.
Get off my face whining bitch!
No, I didn´t go to school today
& I ain´t going tomorrow!
I like how the sky looks
when I´m running,
my clothes are new & shiny,
my tooth gleams gold.
I´m fast as a wolf
I need a rabbit,
the sky is falling
calling my name
Leroy Leroy.
I look up
blood bust
in my throat
it´s my homeboys
L.D., C.K. & Beanbutt!
Hey man what´s up!
I got the moon
in my throat,
I remember when
Christ sucked my dick
behind the pulpit,
I was 6 years old
he made me promise
not to tell no one.
I eat cornbread &
collard greens.
I only wear Adidas
I´m my own man,
they can wear New Balance or Nike
if they want,
I wear Adidas.
I´m L.D.
lover
mover
man with the money
all the girls know me.
I´m classified as mildly retarded
but I´m not
least I don´t think
I am.
Special Education classes
eat up my brain
like last week´s greens
rotting in plastic containers.
My mother never
throws away anything.
I could kill her
I could kill her
all those years
all those years
I sat
I sat in classes
for the mentally retarded
so she could get
the extra money welfare gives
for retarded kids.
So she could get
some money,
some motherfuckin´ money.
That bitch
that bitch
I could kill her
all the years
I sat next to kids
who shitted on themselves,
dreaming amid
rooms of dull eyes
that one day
my rhymes
would break open
the sky
& my name would
be written
across the marquee
at the Apollo
in bold gold
me bigger
than Run DMC
Rapper G
Rapper O
Rapper Me
„Let´s go!“ I scream.
My dick is a locomotive
my sister eats like a 50 ¢ hot dog.
I scream, „I said let´s go!“
„It´s 40 of us
a black wall of sin.
The god of our fathers
descends down & blesses us,
I say thank you Jesus.
Now let´s do the
wild thing.
I pop off the cement
like toast outta toaster
hot hard crumbling
running
running
the park is green
combat operation
lost soul
looking for Lt. Calley
Jim Jones
anybody who could direct
this spurt of semen
rising to the sky.
soldiers
flying thru
the rhythm
„Aw man!
nigger please
nigger
nigger
nigger.
I know
who I am.“
My soul sinks
to its knees &
howls under the
moon rising full,
„Let´s get a female jogger!“
I shout into the twilight
looking at the
middle-class thighs
pumping past me,
cadres of bitches
who deserve to die
for thinking they´re better
than me
You ain´t better than
nobody bitch.
The rock begs my hand
to hold it.
It says, „Come on man.“
T.W., Pit Bull, J.D. & me
grab the bitch
ugly big nose white bitch
but she´s beautiful cause she´s white
she´s beautiful cause she´s skinny
she´s beautiful couse she´s gonna die
cause her daddy´s gonna cry
Bitch!
I bring the rock down
on her head
sounds dull & flat
like the time I busted
the kitten´s head.
The blood is real & red
my dick rises.
I tear off her bra
feel her perfect pink breasts
like Brooke Shields
like bitches in Playboy
Shit! I come all over myself!
I bring the rock down
the sound has rhythm
hip hop ain´t gonna stop
till your face sees
what I see every day
walls of blood
walls of blood
she´s wriggeling like
a pig in the mud.
I never seen a pig
or a cow
´cept on TV.
Her nipples are like
hard strawberries
my mouth tastes
like pesticide.
I fart.
Yosef slams her
across the face with a pipe.
My dick won´t get
hard no more.
I bring the rock down
removing what she
looks like forever
ugly bitch
ugly bitch
I get up
blood on my hands
semen in my jeans
the sky is black
the trees are green
I feel good baby
I just did
the wild thing!

"Fake tales of San Francisco" by the Arctic Monkeys is a good song.

Holey Jesus!, Kaiser that 1st woman you posted has an insane gap!

Judas here. Funny stuff. I've been in the news lately and now I'm here in the after-flesh looking to make an argument with this imposter; this surfing Jesus farce..

huh huh.. he said semen in my jeans..

Some say the end is near.
Some say we?ll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call la
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I?ll see you down in arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your cable and
Fret for your car.
It?s a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call la
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I?ll see you down in arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we?ll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I?ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.

Mom?s gonna fix it all soon.
Mom?s comin? round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim.

Fuck l ron hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim.

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

Cuz I?m praying for rain
And I?m praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna watch it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don?t just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.
I can?t imagine why you wouldn?t
Welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.

dont worry

be happy

today niceness broke a record: 6 hottie pics before noon. happy (or horny) friday!

my wife and i are taking a second honeymoon and are trying to decide what island in the south pacific suits us best. there are WAY too many choices. so, i'm looking for a relatively affordable place with surf that doesn't always require boat trips. if any of you travelers could throw some knowledge my way it would be much appreciated. i'm not asking for your secret spots so please don't go pitbull. rzadigi at gmail.

tool is cool. relaxing.

but right now, i'm not pray'n for rain.

Sofiteil @ Bora Bora. Real cheap. Good waves. Friendly locals.

Ernie in the mentawais....
what up ardika!?

South side drive of Viti Levu. Pony up some extra case for an offshore resort.

Fuck, more fallen bros...

Keep Mammoth Mountain Ski Patrol in your thoughts and a speedy recovery for Jeff.

Walter a true mountain master

anybody know when the HMB breakwater/jetty/harbor went in? I bet there was a sick south swell/big west swell pointbreak/beach break behind where it is now.

any of you historians find some old pictures?

what's swimming under you

I don't see how "the ragged street kids in oakland" fit into the story line.are we supposed to believe they have it as hard as the others. I'm callin BULLSHIT...

NIT PICKER

they could cut that breakwater in half and allow waves to wrap around the point at least.

thinking of having sex this weekend?

uncalled for

only onions are called for.

frequently.

knowing how to post pictures is a dangerious thing, knowing how to keyboard may be even more dangerious

looks like a good day to be a spyder.

Looks like a good day for a large order of Loco Moco

I didn't really want to pull the trigger.

Looks like a good day to be a scorpion

I'd love to go down on that woman

those wicked weasel chicks are skank

yes but so are you jenn

ahh. I bet that has the faint aroma of cocoa butter and sweat.

RUN!!!
LOOK AT THAT GREEN MONSTER COMING OUR WAY!!!!

Hey Jizzy, do you really like putting your nose in hot girls' assholes? That is hot.

Nothing in this world satisfies me more.

Re Posters are looking for attention?

attention from whom you niceness dick sucker

RUUUUNNNN GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!!

ask a question: http://www.questionswap.com

enjoy.

lamer squeals like a piglet

pimplu but with stretch marked thighs?
Sacto mex, get back to work and try again.

she's a hottie on methhag.com

I'd hit it though, I just might not eat it first like I normally do.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2006/04/07/national/a115917D80.DTL

thanks all for the honeymoon feedback!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj-CvcVXeMw&search=beastie%20boys

That's cool, but this guy rips super hard. He's really flexible and I've seen him go past 12 o'clock at Judah many times. Oh, and the Foo Fighters RULE!!

Happy Friday :)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS5RZfweofM&search=vanderlei%20silva

Nice lips, you frickin' ditz.

Man, sorry to spread negativity, but Sting sucks. What happened to him after The Police?! I guess that's probably why the broke up: because Sting sucks so bad.

Sting has sold maybe even more records after the police. Sure his jazzy soft rock approach lost him some fans but many from his early day's have stayed with him and he picked up ton's of new ones.
He's a ripping bass player and composer though, as well as someone with a great voice. Sure he's full of himself but well....I guess it's time for you to send in a link for an mp3 on some of the hit's you are currently in the studio putting the finishing touches on?

So lonely is my all time favorite Police song

sting sucks. i dont think you have to be a better musican than someone to say that that person sucks. i dont play the pan flute but im pretty sure zamphir sucks. i can say that sting sucks for the simple fact that he writes his songs for jaguar comercials now. and they sound like enya songs, or some lord of the dance shit. maybe im just bitter though cause the police were so bad ass. kind of like how robert plant sucks now. sorry to be a negative nancy.

yabba dabba doobie!

I didn't say anything about Sting being talentless. There are plenty of super talented musicians who can't, or choose not to, funnel their talent in a way that's pleasant to the ear. Much of the work of The Police is super simple, but it works. It works a hell of lot better than this ripping bass couch rock. Maybe that's why I'm bummed; because he IS supertalented, but he's sort of a acid washed version of Michael Bolton.

I didn't claim to be working on a hit list myself either, but here's best pieces of work so far. I'm very proud of the vocals: http://www.dyingfetus.com/setlist/justifiablehomicide.mp3

sting sold 100 million records.
100 million people said he didn't suck, in fact they said he was good. and laid $15 bucks down to prove it.
jaguar offered him mad loot and a way to introduce his new collection of music to a broader audience and he took it.
i'm kinda surprised that as a creative person you would be so critical of another creative person. maybe sting's new musical direction does not appeal to you but spinning out the same old raggae, punk, rock and blues riffs for another 26 years bored sting so he explored jazz and new age. or maybe his ego just sent him to mixing board to make what he thought would appeal to the other 300 million folks who like him and sacrifice all of his AUTHENTIC POLICE RETRO FANS

So, if I'm creative, I have to like music that sucks? Those two traits can't be mutually exclusive?

Celine Dion has solid more than 100 million records. So did Tiffany. Didn't Tiffany sell more than 100 million records? She HAD to have, because she definitely does NOT suck.

Yeah, and who said I was creative in the first place? How do you know I'm creative??!!! I consider myself bland and one-dimensional!!! Don't make assumptions about my brain unless you want to make and ass out of u and me. Tee hee!!!

Most creative people understand how difficult it is to create and would never use the term "sucks". They understand that art is a personal expression and can never possibly actually "suck" they understand that it may not be appealing to many, may not be understood by others but is still of value if only to the creator.
dying fetus justifiable homicide? NOW THAT IS GOOD ART! great personal expression!
yeah. these are emotions true artistes love to express!
I could arrange this piece in 20 minutes. get a group of tatted long haired poseurs and sit around and think of the "hardest" band there ever was and just turn it 11 and distort it and growl in to a mic. voila! shit that blow's sting and his millions of yuppie suburban rich fans away and scare the bejeesus out of them! they may kill me and get away with it because I wear KHAKI PANTS!

I'm sure Tiffany sucks. How else did she get a record contract in the first place?

Nah. She wanted to remain a virgin so she just did anal and gave hand jobs.

Look at american idol. a million people watch that show everynight. so than your theory states that american idol does not suck? so because sting makes money he cant suck? i guess its all oppinion. obviously you like sting, so im sorry if i offended you. i was just agreeing (sp?) with the original anon's comments, and I have to stay at work for another little bit. i dont hate sting i just dont like his music anymore. and what? creative people cant be critical of creative people? i also hate the crap out limp biskut but those mofos make cash. sting is way more talented that fred dirst though. selling out shmelling out thats not the point, the point is he passed his prime. it happens. ok that was a fucked up paragraph, sorry.

ps. i can say whatever i want.

I actually agree with you guy's. Sting does suck.
It's just fun to rattle some cages from time to time especially when it is so easy.
I lie your comics though, 'specially the one where the dude and his l'il bro woke up, got shacked all day and then had some beers.

If Dying Fetus' members chose to express themselves in a growling vocal manner with intense double-bass riffs, does that make them any less artistic? Do you think it took THEM 20 minutes to create the song? Perhaps it took them 20 days, and a lot of emotional turmoil to hash it out. Wouldn't they then meet your criteria for "artistes"?

And who said anything about killing anyone. Do you know the lyrics to Justfiable Homicide?

Profits are the powermad's motivating force.
Just a greedy aspiration to be fed.
Put to the test, they'll fuck all the rest,
till all their rivals are dead...they're dead.

Pushed on to fight as the pressure infects
and their rotten intentions arise
Our retaliation forces are the primary front
we all have got to cut them down to size.

Faceless prophets pushing nazi policies
Money is the God they defend.
The workers released, the lions are fed,
it�s all just a means to an end.

The war is here and the mission is clear: engage-enforce-erase
Who are they to say we're free? There's no choices I can see.
Just look around, the tension builds.
Who's to blame when it comes down?

Drug laws, no privacy, the last breath of sanity
It's all fucked, �cause what I see is too damn many brain-washed humans.
The forces of dissention are released,
their products and corruption no one needs.

The cracks within the system start to show
so let's fucking let them know
think if you can, what a fucking waste of life
one too many dreams have broken.

Down through the past, it's a spiral into night
try if you can; break this cycle clean.

Work for a wage, it's a lie, it's a mind game,
breaking your back for some mother fucker
He doesn't care, and no one really does
Life is short, so get up off your knees

What happened to the Melvins?

20 insane albums and now they are recording Levi's commercials w/ Jello Biafra!

Say it ain't so.

Oh, and sorry, I didn't mean to remain anon. My name is Adolph. Adolph Olli Vertitz.

thanks anon..i was not the only creative mind in on that discussion though...see you in the water (maybe when it stops raining)

America - FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

Good lyrics by the baby killers. I'm surprised at the 25 cent words they were able to incorporate. They did however hit on many of the cliche's necessary to fill the market niche. Some good marketing money behind them and a tour filled with pictures of them smoking marlboro red's and slugging jack daniels, more money to get them in to the studio and soften their sound and make the lyrics more recognizable and top 100 will only be one album off. then their label on a minimal investment will decide the future profit margins possible depending on audience tastes at that time.
Good luck to them. Soon they will be selling art, and surfing linda mar.

BLACK.

TOXIC NIGHTMARE ON THE SOUTH SHORE

Giant sewage spill fouls Ala Moana and surrounding spots; surfer dies
The big news amongst surfers and environmentalists on Oahu is the recent catastrophic raw sewage spill emanating from the Ala Wai Canal. The canal, which feeds smack dab into the lineup at Bowls, is literally defecating into the ocean. Over 50 million gallons of the putrid slosh is contaminating beaches and surf spots between Sand Island and Diamond Head, putting a skidding halt to all ocean activities except boating for weeks.

Some swimmers and surfers have chanced infection and ventured into the water. Reports are many are now suffering from gastrointestinal infections.

UPDATE: Oliver Johnson, the surfer who was exposed to the water, died on April 6th. It turns out that he was assaulted sometime after leaving Harbor Pub and either fell or was pushed into the water. HPD Homicide detectives have opened up a murder investigation now that Johnson has passed away. His immediate family from Florida are here and will likely take what's left of him back home for burial. All here send our condolences, and are sure we'll hear from them or their lawyers soon.

COVER UP?: A Waikiki surfer revealed yesterday that she was infected by the sewage spill after suffering a reef cut while surfing one day before warning signs went up. Lisa Kennedy remains hospitalized in Honolulu. Doctors have diagnosed her with three bacteria strains that they link directly with fecal compounds, so there is no doubt in this case. Here's the scary part; Kennedy claims that she was "discouraged" by hospital officials from speaking to the media about her illness. She did anyway, and went public with KHON2 (Fox affiliate). If there is indeed an conspiracy involving the City and HTA, there could be others who are sick, but haven't come forward.

GOING NATIONAL: The EPA is calling this event the worst sewage spill in the nation's history(!), State and Federal officials are claiming that the City (Mayor Mufi Hanneman) neither sought nor was granted authorization for the dumping, and tourist advocate groups are threatening legal actions against all parties involved. It was revealed by an anonymous internal source that the city was advised 2 years ago that this particular 42 inch main would burst if it was not replaced soon.

-Skip

2 FREE tickets to Tea Leaf Green tonight at the Fillmore if anyone wants to pick them up (Great Hwy & Balboa)

No thanks.

Hey, how many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they screw in a filthy sleeping bag.

Yeah, no death metal musicians have any talent.

Here's Dying Fetus' original drummer, Kevin Talley, in the final round of auditions for Slayer before they decided to re-hire their original drummer, Dave Lombardo, back in 2002. Kevin had to send in a video of himself to get an audition, and a month after sending one in, the members of Slayer called him up and reportedly said, "Dude, your video is awesome. We want you to audition!" By most accounts, Kevin was their second choice behind Lombardo himself, and briefly HAD the gig while Lombardo was non-committal, but Lombardo eventually came around and decided to re-join the band. Even after saying he was in, the members of Slayer apparently still debated the decision for a while, as Kevin was that good for them. In the end, the members of Slayer reportedly rationalized Kevin was 22 (at the time of the audition, while the 3 members of Slayer ranged in age from 37 - 41), and had a lack of experience in front of a "big stage" that Lombardo possessed. Those factors, coupled with the obvious sentimental reasons for going back to Lombardo, were the reasons Talley wasn't chosen, NOT his lack of talent.

So, here's lil' Kev' playing War Ensemble back in 2002. Watch how hard the members of Slayer focus in on him while he's playing. Yeah, he sucks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XEw7PY3Fy4&search=kevin%20slayer

I'd love to see the Slayer help wanted ad. All metal death metal (overdone) speed metal (overdone) and whatever else kind of garage door screeching metal there is put's "must have hair and prescence" in their help wanted ads. They don't make much mention of talent.
Slayer. What a joke. Dying Fetus. An even bigger and unoriginal joke. Spinning out marginal copycat riffs and updated socially crtitical with no solutions to the "problems" of progress all the while flaunting their hypocrisy with auditions to join and even bigger band and get on the gravy train.
But it's cool if you wanna make your parents worried about you. I bet you've got the sticker on your door still "Danny's room" "Parents STAY OUT" And "Disaster Area"

Ha ha. That was pretty good. Actually, I mostly have figurines of Darth Vader and posters of guys flinging nunchackus in front of their black Camaros.

I don't understand why everyone has to take everything so seriously. I didn't say anything about the sociopolitical importance of Slayer, or Dying Fetus. I just like to bang my head. If banging your head is not your thing, and you like to listen to more "important" music like Sting, so be it. We're all different, at least I hope so.

Slayterer

I saw this guy walking around downtown San Mateo this afternoon dressed up like Darth Vader. I wanted to take his pic with my camera phone. He just kept walking up and down the crosswalks, and all sorts of nerds were giving him the car horn salute. I wanted to go get a Jedi Knight costume, then run back and beat his ass with a 2 foot rubber dildo saber.

The surf fucking sucked again today. God. Will the madness ever end?

so slayer, what's it take to pigdog Lagundri with style?

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/photos/gallery.ssf?cgi-bin/view_gallery.cgi/olive/view_gallery.ata?g_id=2927

Slayer is one of SF's top surfers. Plain and simple.

But he loves Slayer so much, that you have to tease him for it.

"Top Surfers?" I am in total disagreement. The style he employ's is one garnered from the magazines and surfing films circa 2000- 2003. Sure. Paddle. Turn. Slot. Turn paddle slot turn paddle slot turn paddle slot...
A break from this robotic form and a little experimenting would help this lad cool his temper in the water and thus satisfy himself and those that paddle around and inside his post up zone between the rock and the point.
Hi Slayer!

I love checking in to this site every now and then to see which doofus is claiming how great and rad they are.

Slayer is not from San Francisco.
I have seen them come and I have seen them go.
S.F. is known for trnasplants who try and call it home.Hippies in the 60's.Gays in the 70's-80's.Dot-com in the 90's and now surfers.( gay dot-com surfers ! )
I say we close our borders.Get some of those red-neck minute men over here and tell them what is going on.Post some drunk ass-holes with f250's and shotguns at Sloat and GG bridge and just close this thing down.
stay up playa

Actually the latest South Park episode where Kyle's family move to San Francisco because the people of Colorado aren't enlightened enough, pretty much sums up the whole transplant to SF deal.

To sum it up we're the leading cause of smug across the country.

tell those mollusk boys to come down to fort today with their shit talking. They know where will be, come on down and talk shit face to face and see what happens nigga. Your right, It aint about surfing, Its about FPG fucking you in the ass.

Personally, I have nothing against transplants. The ones that already surf well usually know what it takes to get along.

How NOT to get along:

start a San Francentric surf blog that ignores history and tradition.

unapologetically cultivate and maintain an anti-local vibe amidst all the happy horseshit and nutriding.

claim someplace before it claims you.

mmmmm nutriding

Jesus

Jesus is right. I never claimed to be born in San Francisco, and I certainly never claimed to be one of it's "top surfers". Far from it. There are many, many people in this city that surf A LOT better than me, and if you plopped me into some competitive, packed line-up like Trestles or The Superbank or something I wouldn't even be a blip on the radar. But even if I'm not the best guy in the world, I just really, really like surfing, and I try to do it every day. It makes me HAPPY.

Read my 2 posts up above. All I "claimed" is that Kevin Talley was a good drummer, and I that I like Slayer and I like headbanging. And if you don't, no problem - to each is own.

If you know me at all, you'll know I'm a pretty happy person. I've got a really good life, and listening to "angry" music doesn't do anything to take away from that. I DO get frustrated in packed line-ups sometimes, but hopefully not too much more than the next guy.

My real name is Danny. I'm a little guy, non-threatening, spazzy, easy to spot. If I've done something to piss you off, come up and say so. I'm not a tweaker or an idiot; I just like surfing.

I love blond chicks with shaved boxes. I love them!!

The KCLB guys really scam on a lot of girls. easy, SF tramps, but they do get laid.

Jizzy, do you ever get shit lodged in your nose?

oh here we go again, another "praise slayer" posting day. give it a rest, posting about yourself, we know that slayer = E.

fuck all of you

bottomfeeders.com

Roommates wanted: we have a one bedroom 5 bath pad that over-looks vfw and the windmill.We are looking for open-minded transplants who don't mind a little pain.stop by, let's talk art,surfing and see where this goes.Must ride a fish.

dude, I want that room!! Hopefully, some of you guys are into wearing overalls and fisting! If Bad Vibe moves in there we can run a train on him. I would move in just to use a different shitter monday through friday. House rules would be no doors, so everyone can see you doing your business when you wipe your ass after laying a hot coil of brown mud.

BAM!
hit rock bottom.

look on the bright side, this can only go up from here . . . or sideways.

relatively speaking, fun surf today. the 10 day forecast looks great too!

and to add insult to injury, it looks like rain is falling in Tahoe.

time to move your 401k money out of flood insurance stocks.

this land is one of bounty, cultivate what you will and share with your brothers. vague is vogue too.

poor BVB needs something to beat off to

If that was a brown Island do you think the Southern point or northern Point would go off harder?