E's Surf Report

fring pots

where are the pics??

nevermind...

oh yeah, great, now i'm gonna have to read a bunch of first time sex stories blog. gawd, damn.

E-that story about your first time was funny.

Just like when the bowl is cashed.

Refresh, my brother.

For the picks that is.

Just so we're all on the same page. What constitutes sex, for the first timers?

First Penetration, first ejaculation, first hand job, first dry hump to orgasm?

White guys who like asian girls are actually gay. Since asian girls look like little boys. In fact I would almost say that these guys like young boys.
Thoughts?

friend #1. i think whatever counts in your mind as the first time is valid for you.

disagree about the asian girl thing. In my opinion asian girls are the MOST feminine of all females. the least guy-like.

Location Omaha Bravo was greasy at oh-eight hundred, some mush but nice inner sections.

Me 14 - she 18 - on my friends lawn, many mosquitos getting in on the poke act.

Someone asked me for info on Arnold and Enron yesterday....

http://www.accuracy.org/newsrelease.php?articleId=421

http://www.projectcensored.org/publications/2005/13.html

My girlfriend took her car into the shop, so I was sadly dp-less today. How selfish of her to get her car fixed when she travels.

Let me preface my first time story by saying I went to an all boys high school, engineering college with literally only 3 girls in my class and on a scale of 1 to 10, my face is a 2 with a personality asymptotically approaching 0. I was the very definition of hapless (or creepy) and it wasn't until I moved to California that I had a chance of fooling a woman to get anywhere near me. So needless to say it was last call and I was chatting with a friend of a friend (admitedly she was rather full figured), and she suggests we go back to her place. I recall stumbling through the Marina Wallgreens trying find condoms. A detail that stood out in my mind was after I did the checkout I said, "Thanks, have a good night" and the cashier said, "I know you will." I'm sure I had the biggest drunkman shit-eating grin on my face. We go back, and we both got some wicked rugburns. She even drove me back to Oakland at 4 AM. She may have been a very large girl, but she had a heart to match; I am eternally grateful to her. The kicker to the story is this all took place on a Wednesday night.

Broken Social Scene concert last night at the Grand was rad. The band has about 18 members. At one point all were on stage. 6 guitarists, 4-5 horn players and drumers/keyboardest, violin and singers. Check em out sometime if you get a chance.

awesome story andrew.

Since I moved to SF, I have noticed the following:
a) Alot of ugly white guys with way better looking asian girls

I think this is b/c there alot of white guys who are jaded from bad experiences with women can be assertive or sometimes bitchy. These guys can go for a more sub-servient women. I do not how to spell.

Anyone else noteice this?

If Asian girls look like boys to you may need glasses..all girls can look like boys for example that one chick on americas top model, shes white and she looks like a boy, and i shouldnt start about my sister in law..dudes with asian fetishes can be creepy though not as wierd as dudes that like to get jacked of by a girls feet..or dudes that like getting craped on..though thats a little extreem

anyway that story was classic e..

i dont kiss and tell

awesome story andrew.

Way better looking asian girls? Where? Here? Hahaha... man, that's a good one.

As for white guys with asian girls, who cares? -- except other asian guys. Let's just drop the subject already. This one has been beaten to a pulp.

did anyone see "Trading Spouses" last night?

That fat lady from Louisiana was RAD!!

"YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIANS!!! IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, I REBUKE YOU, NOW GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!"

That Santacruzlinup.com site is perty sick.

Asian girls can be very feminine and beautiful creatures. But many are so skinny that they lack "feminine" shapes or curves, especially those with that weird flat or droopy ass.

Asian men are very asexual and are statistically the most unmarried, least sexed race. I'm sure that contributes plus asian women playing into the traditional role American women are reluctant to fill.

this might be common knowledge to everyone on this site, but have you typed in niceness.com before? free pron or e's surf report??? it's going to be a tough one from now on.

Not that I want to create competition for e, But since we are on the subject of first times, I thought I would throw it out there

mexi, want to surf this pm?

most asian girls and white girls... ugh.

cuban, brazilian, persian, italian... hot.

Get off my wave, and get off my sister! Gowlai!

oh brother... let the immaturity begin.

This is one of the funniest things I have read lately.
Check out both parts. RAD!!

http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/

http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit_card/

Lobbyist Sought $9 Million to Set Bush Meeting

WASHINGTON, Nov. 9 - The lobbyist Jack Abramoff asked for $9 million in 2003 from the president of a West African nation to arrange a meeting with President Bush and directed his fees to a Maryland company now under federal scrutiny, according to newly disclosed documents.

all I can say is that if you are/were a young surfer in California and you cannot get laid by hot chicks on a very regular basis, you need to go out back and just shoot yourself. Jesus, I got so much good p****y when I was late teens early 20's, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. AND by the way, most of my bros got more than I did..so I aint braggin...anyone go to college in San D? back in the early 80's, they had college night every couple of weeks at the Rosarita Beach Hotel. There were so many HOT chicks that were drunk and ready for the slaying it was fucking unbelieveable.My god, gents, the best thing about being a young buck surfer is the p****y.... and as for asian chicks, it makes my heart sing you guys that dont think they are hot..all the more for me, and I think they are the most insane hotties on planet earth..

i don't think this is quite the same as the surfer bb, since we actually kinda know each other, but here goes:
also freshman year, one night stand with a good looking guy in a band. we were fairly drunk. i guess, really, i knew i was queer but wanted to prove myself wrong. and do this sex thing everyone talked about. he was perfectly nice and all went fine. afterward, of course, i thought we were in love, as all girls are prone to do. and he explained that he couldn't go for a longterm relationship because he was going to join the circus. seriously. try that excuse, boys, it's a good one! banged three or four more random guys before i found a cute girl. much better!

I saw that Trading Housewives thing last night-hysterical. That fat lady was truly a psycho. So entertaining.

Really sweet mid-morning session. Started with outside weak mush 9am-ish; quickly decided to try the inside, but it was weak dumpy stuff, drifted a bit south and found really fun head-high drops with a bit of wall afterwards. Getting more crowded at 10:30 as I left, and conditions were improving on the outside. Way glassy.

steamwand, you ROCK!!!!

steamwand...you ignorning my e-mails? lemme know if you are dping next week...we're losing early light quickly. Andrewon44th[a]excite. Don't be creeped out by my above story creeps you out, I'll put my towel down on the carseat before I sit.

As an adjust to steamwand's story, I believe I've helped a few women discover that they were not into men.

funny ass story, steamwand. So, let me get this straight, you're a lesbian, right?

the majority of asian girls out there are unattractive, however, the few out there who are hot are exceptionally HOT. there's no middle ground...either hot or ugly.

debate over.

Blog's a pisser today. When you've hooked up with many races (it is good to sample the hornycopia), you'll realize that every "type" of woman exists within every culture and race.

And asian girls rarely look like little boys (+I'm sure some of you would like them to) -- at least in my neighborhhod they surely don't. And plenty of them have the same warped sense of entitlement and bitchy-non-niceness (materialism, false ego, all that see-through gossamer shit) that American girls do -- probably because most of the ones you're seeing ARE just that -- American Girls whose parents came form somewhere else. Don't obsess on small differences.

First time: age 17 on a mosquito-infested tennis court at night. Word.

Andrew, finish the story my man, did you go back for another round?

Tool of the week goes to Tim West.
You've got to read this;
http://cgi.ebay.com/Mavericks-Surfboard-Biten-By-Great-White-Shark_W0QQitemZ7196017262QQcategoryZ22710QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

This looks like that new fangled "Tow-At" surf.

nice one steamwand.

Must surf after work. Got the blakestah machine loaded in the Jeep. Ready to go. Conditions irrelevant.

That guy haseither towed into that wave or he has feet shaped like a horses'.

I've got to think that "Tool of the Week" goes *not* to Tim West but to whoever pays $1000+ for his auction. Nothing wrong with trying to find a sucker to unload your novelty on, and eBay's loaded with such folks. West will be able to buy a new Mavs board and pocket another $500 if it goes his way.

Sedcondarily, I'm more apt to think some anonymous blogger is a tool than a guy who's legitimately trying to surf Mavericks.

I think if I had been attacked by a shark I would keep the board on the wall....

...right next to my burnt hat from that time i was struck by lightning, but that's just me.

Nicely said, Monkey Man. Now, get back in the trunk, like a good monkey, and guard the car.

When I lived in NYC, all these pretentious bitches would ask me "So, what do you do for a living?". I tell them I am an ice cream truck driver and watch their reaction. Going to join the circus, thats a good one to remember....

Hahahah! That's effing funny!

HA! Late bloomer but thank goodness for Anne who took pity on me. Went to see Pappion (yes I'm old) a VERY long movie then back to her single-wide trailer for a multiple hour work out. Drove home very late and got stopped by a cop who thought I was drunk.

The next morning I left Arizona for a long drive with a different woman from work and her sister. They couldn't figure out why I spent most of the trip in the back seat sound asleep. That was 30 years ago and I ended up marrying the woman from work. She still teases me about it. Figured she had to rescue me from the bad girls.

Worked 31 straight hours. Finished last evening. Drove to my favorite jetty. Offshore, slight mist, beautiful sunset, peaky windswell, fishin', delirious from no sleep, wired, loopy, so fun. I missed you Ocean.

Anyone lately order a Hotline wetsuit from the main store up in SC? Fucking taking me a month to try to get one out of them. Fuckers. They tell me they are finally sending it out to me. Shitty customer service, which I have found from MANY surf companies (not naming the fin company). Guess they are all too cool to deal with their public or have really dumb young employess (which seems the case too). Great wetsuits though so I deal.

Both of the girls that I first had sex with regularly (sequentially, high school then college) had fathers who were District Attorneys. In hindsight it's mildly amusing, and I guess I'm lucky I never pissed anyone off, but at the time it didn't mean anything.

andrew-check your e-mail. i don't know if i typed your address right. or write me at steamwand89 at the yahoo. no creepiness taken.
i don't know about fetching you from alameda pre-dawn though. that's a haul. but maybe we can work something out.

Thumbs up to any first timer story that features a single-wide trailer.

True Story totally has me beat. Papillion is regarded as one of the most graphically brutal and violent movies ever. It's like using Schindler's List as a date movie...then to the single wide...it's beyond classic...it's epic. I'd say he made that story up, but it is just too perfect. Only thing to make it better is if he woke up to find her prosthetic leg against the wall before her husband ran in the door with a shot gun.

Sophmoronicradolescenthairyhippespubicboyrabble.
Latine chicks on Latin men, now that's hot! What about Mandingo on your little blonde sister? How about a Latin dude and a Chinese chick in a meange a tois with a half Chinese Iranian guy? Or how about White on White half Latin or Asian on your black mom?

What are the signs and how can you tell when "Barney's" a good surfer or not? Is it a look ? Is it the way he fits into a website, er, uh... , wetsuit? Is it the way he saunters to the car after a sesshy all Gladiator-like and shit? Is it a facial thing? Like a tick or a mean scowl or friendly smile or harsh grimace; is it missing teeth? I am after a look I know 'J' possesses...
Mid-day spiritual session - onshores hard and all mixed up - no matter I have E in my head to inspire the whip around drop on the widows peak, falling into the bowl rather than riding it and then pigdogging the bitch into the pit, then another glorious tube in -'n - out and another slap to the lip then another heavy bottom turn -. I turned so hard my balls busted through my new Infinity super stretch.
It's like that.

first time. me 14. her 18 and HOT. (she thinks I'm 17) my parents away. small party at my house. I am all over her in the kitchen and she says lets go to a bedroom. Her friend points at the clock and reminds her that they have to be home by 12:00 (its 11:25 and a 30 minute drive). I whisper "c'mon, you can be a bit late" and we go in the other room. 11:29: she's just getting warmed up and I'm done. She asks why I stopped, not realizing I am done. I point to the clock and tell her I don't want them to get in trouble. She says "are you sure?". I answer "It takes me a long time, too hard to relax and really get going knowing you had to go soon".

i had a better customer service experience with hotline - a few years ago i had one it ripped after 6 months but they were good and quick about fixing it and sending it back to me.

dickey mora- is it really onshores now or was that part of your rant? i was hoping for an afternooner. if you tell me about the conditions i promise i wont try to look cool on my way back to my car!

I smell hater.

As a reminder, please review the following surf etiquette tips:

1. Do not paddle up to within 5 feet of the only guy in the water within eyesight. Come on, there are miles of beach break, and it's 7am. At least paddle out to the next peak over.

2. If you are insecure and do need to paddle up to a perfect stranger (who's a nice guy and let's you take inside position without a hassle), don't pull out of 5 waves in a row. Come on, it's 7am, I'm dp-ing because I have to go to work and need to make the best of my time.

3. If you do short-arm paddle, pull back, wuss out, or otherwise kook out, please feel free to shout "YOU GO!", "I'M TOO DEEP!", "ALL YOURS BIG GUY!" or some other verbal indicator that it's okay for someone else to go.

4. If, after 5 blown waves in a row, you do end up getting dropped in upon, don't get all pissy.

5. If after 5 blown waves and a pissy encounter after a drop-in, don't get all surly and stink-eyed when you get paddled around for the next few waves. You paddled up to a perfect stranger on a wide open beach break, you have to deal with whatever mood that dude is in (which, btw, was pretty good until you showed up and starting kooking out).

Home to Jersey from boarding school for my 16th birthday. My friends take me to a little deadhead house party with lots of booze and acid (didn't dose but drank and smoked plenty). Late night grovel session with this not hot older girl who much to my elated surprise mounts me. I give her about 14 seconds of exhilarating mind numbing pleasure, then I'm done. Quickly make an excuse about getting back home and bolt! Happy Birthday to me!

she was...I dunno...I was 16. She was a little hesistant but eager, I think. It was up on a bluff, slight breeze....she couldn't go anywhere....
she backed up and placed her back legs in my boots.....baaaaaaaastard...

I hear guitar center is having a sale.

Here is one more surf etiquite tip.
1) Hold on to your board when duck diving, and if you let go of it and it hits me in the chest and I have to leave the water on my next wave because of the pain, at least say you're sorry. Geeze, those things hurt and I was mellow about it, but c'mon it's head high, how hard is it.

OK the real question in how many chicks have u banged? I'm guessing a wide range of course after halfing the male response # and multipling the chicks # x5

Hb, get an Xcel suit, they are better and dont have any SC attitude. F santa cruz attitude!

also, go buy from a surfshop- same prices and same day service.

ps- there is an Asian HOTTIE across the street from me in the Sunset, she has a couple different guys a week over for the night. one per night, we seem them leave in the morning. if I was single, i'd be hitting that sashimi. she gives me the eye all the time. not bragging, just saying it like it is. i'm not really into asian chicks though, i like blonds.

pss- I have to agree with the guy who posted as "anon", there is so much HOT poonanny in SoCal for the slaying, you have to be an utter dork, or gay not to get barrelled.

43rd, you've got an escort living across from you.

"dude that hooker is totally into me"

no kidding.
this chick is so freak mamma. damn hot.

Yup, I dont speak from experience just that one news story i saw on channel 7 about brothels in the avenues one time.

long lunch was not so lucrative. but wasnt blown out when i left at like 1:30

i am a dork with chicks and a late bloomer i lived in south mission beach SD in early 20's, girls everywhere and got laid like once a year. im really sensitive and shy and enjoy the finer things in life and the color red.

thats right, the early 1920's that roller coaster was just built and the chicks in the swim club were hot! i was one of the first surfers in the area also

picture test

you rock, Bagel.

I speak from experience, and I know there are tons of MP's, escorts, brothels, all over SF.

You guys with Asian fetishes need to go to Asia. You will trip out. I think the hottest Asian girls i've ever seen were in S. Korea. Holy Carp! Plus, in China you can hire as many as you want, for cheap. A lot cheaper than those in the Sunset district.

Omaha Bravo is looking really Gulf Omaha Omaha Delta right now.

Well, it's good to know that you are in the know, 43rd. That would make for a funny story: you going over there and asking that hooker out on a date.

Coming up on 25 years ago when I first started dating the woman to whom I am now married, I was also seeing this girl from my church youth group. We would go out together to McD’s or such after the Sunday night UMYF meeting. After a while we started parking places after the restaurant, then just parking after the meetings. We were pretty clear with each other that we were friends with perks, not boyfriend/girlfriend.

Parents went up to the Cabin for the weekend, I take her out to Friday night dinner in Laguna Beach, and then we head back to my house in Westminster. We start it up in the living room then head to my bedroom.

Since her Parents go to my Parents’ church, and I know them pretty well, I am concerned about getting her home on time. She sees me checking my clock next to my bed while we are in full flight, and she gets offended. Tells me that it hurts and that I should pull out. I oblige, we get dressed, and I take her home. (She tells me the true score a few days later).

That Sunday, I take my future wife to an afternoon at the beach, and it gets late, and so my Mom suggests that I take her to our UMYF group. That did not go over well with my friend with perks.

We went out after UMYF meetings a few more times, but I never got further than third base after that night.

Coming up on 25 years ago when I first started dating the woman to whom I am now married, I was also seeing this girl from my church youth group. We would go out together to McD?s or such after the Sunday night UMYF meeting. After a while we started parking places after the restaurant, then just parking after the meetings. We were pretty clear with each other that we were friends with perks, not boyfriend/girlfriend.

Parents went up to the Cabin for the weekend, I take her out to Friday night dinner in Laguna Beach, and then we head back to my house in Westminster. We start it up in the living room then head to my bedroom.

Since her Parents go to my Parents? church, and I know them pretty well, I am concerned about getting her home on time. She sees me checking my clock next to my bed while we are in full flight, and she gets offended. Tells me that it hurts and that I should pull out. I oblige, we get dressed, and I take her home. (She tells me the true score a few days later).

That Sunday, I take my future wife to an afternoon at the beach, and it gets late, and so my Mom suggests that I take her to our UMYF group. That did not go over well with my friend with perks.

We went out after UMYF meetings a few more times, but I never got further than third base after that night.

Sorry for the stutter.

43rd, dammit, go ask her, and then report back. Tell her you fucking RIP out in the water, and need a nice date to top off your rightous day.

#1, what was the "True Score"?

cool interview with the main guitarist in the mermen

Duh, The true score was that it didn't hurt below her waist, but rather above in her heart to see me more concerned with how much time it is taking than with taking my time with her.

oh. well, I guess that is why I like my women drunk. I dont have experiences like that

salamat pagi

Walt?

speaking of laguna beach...i would like to lose my virginity again to all of those girls on that MTV show. wooootywooooo!

went to buy a new hotline suit at the outlet a couple days ago. The guy was so put out when I asked if he had something my size that is not brown/blue. brown with red piping, or mostly off-white. Apparently I asked for too much,he quickly produced 'the west-side stink-eye'. I recognized it immediately and decided to leave.

Picked up an Excel in moon town that was less expensive and I like it better than my old Hotline.

Her name was Bonnie.

Later I findout she has a nickname: Liberty.

As in "Statue of".

Then I heard the joke of how many people have been inside the staute and gone to the top.

Sigh....true or not, those people were mean to sully my/our experience.

Where is she now? And is she the one who stole my switchblade from my jacket that night?

funny

I met another guy out in SF last weekend that had an Xcel. Said he likes it a lot better than his old O'neil. I've been reading a lot of favorable consensus for Xcel. Time to upgrade.

Mr. Doof, that sort of sounds like that Chasing Amy movie.

Frist mite:

I went down to Georgetown determined to meet somebody and perhaps score. Found a nice somebody and we proceed to drink a lot. She takes me back to her place and we get hot and heavy on the livingroom floor. I have enough sense to realize that I am not wearing a condom, and I pull out w/o going off. We crawl up to her bedroom and fall asleep together.

Next morning, her mom (she lives with her mom?!!) knocks on her bedroom door and asks her for something. I pull on my clothes and (much like one of those teenage-movie escape tricks) climb out of the second-story window into a tree and down to the street.

any escorts around me?

I finally got tired of that old man trying to bugger me late nite and I got the courage to give ginger a good fucking, that was my first time down by the lagoon.

Boy did i have some chinldhood fantasy's about that chick.

Mary Ann was the one for me...

one for bbr

We never get tired of looking at beautiful tubes, do we?

We wants it, The Precious!

SF surf shop folfs are kooks,
When is this shop finally going to close.

I'll be displacing water in SC on Friday and taking pics. If my youngster OB friends head south for the weekend give me a call. Miss you guys and I'm very sorry about the totally lame season- at least so far. Perfect sunset driving down tonight.

green ass tube

Ryan, Is it because they don't all have beards and ride groovy fishes all the time?

SF makes great boards, kook.

backseat of my VW bug 1966.Patty was a hottie

You really put me in my place Mr. Anon Kook.
Why don't you come out of hiding and tell it to me like it is?

SF surf shop sucks,
you lame kook.

hey hey hey we can all get along. lets have a discussion about surf shops in SF

who do you support?

a.wise
b.aqua
c.sf
d.purple skunk
e.mullosk
d.big yank