Return of the the Illegitimate Granddaughter of the Worst Horror Movie Ideas Ever XXI
A young, sexy, well-endowed teenager and her boyfriend skip school to go have a picnic in the park. They take their basket-lunch and their six-pack and scamper off into a huge, sunny field. They eat some fruit-roll-ups and then start making out. Just as the dude is about to get to second base they notice a strange tingling all over their bodies. All of a sudden it starts to get painful. They look down to discover that the grass has latched on to them and is pulling them underground. Thousands of blades of grass have turned malicious and are grabbing them and pulling them into the earth. They scream and try to break away but it's too late, the grass has them!!! bwaah ha ha... THE GRASS!!!!
-------------------------
A cute, bookwormy, bespeckled college coed named Lucy finishes up her late-night studying in the library. It's 11pm and she's spent. On her way back to the dorm she spots her friend Sally. "Hi Sally, thanks very much for going to my guitar recital, that was very generous of you." "Ouch," Says Sally, "it felt like something just hit me in the head four or five times!" "Huh, that's strange," says Lucy. "Ouch, there is was again. That really really hurt." "Geez, we better get you some gentle drugs." "AAAGHGHGH... my head... my head.. I'm in sooo much pain. When you say the letter G my head throbs and kills!!!" "Golly, my Grandma always guided me to go with the great letter G!" AAGHGHGHGHG!!! i'm DYINGGG!!!!"
Bwaaahhh haaa haaa.... THE LETTER G!!!!
--------------------------
Little Robbie McPete slept all cozy in his bed. He dreamt of monster trucks and frogs. He was a happy child. His parents filled his life with toys, fun and love. He slowly woke up in the middle of the night and realized he had to pee. He was proud of the fact that he could now walk to the bathroom and pee "like a big boy." But the hallway and the dark house were still scary for Robbie. He held his little wee-wee and grimaced. He really had to go!! So he sucked it up and scurried to the bathroom. He did his business and quickly returned to bed. As he was drifting off to sleep again he heard a strange noise from the corner of his room, where a bunch of his toys were piled up. "Sliiiink.... Sliiiink... SLLLLIIINNNKK!" It sounded like metal to Robbie. He quickly grabbed his Bob the Builder headlamp and shone the light into the corner. Nothing appeared out of place at first but then he realized that the slinky was at the foot of his bed, instead of in the corner. Weird. He sat for a while with the light on the slinky but nothing happened. Finally he turned out the light and began dozing off again. Then that sound... "Sliink... SLIINKK.. SLIIIINKK!!" By the time Robbie got his headlamp again he felt the cold steel on his arm. He tried to let out a screem but the cold, unforgiving slinky quickly wrapped itselft around his neck. In one final, tortuous "slink" Robbie was dead. The Slinky slunk back to to the corner.
Bwahh haaa hAaaaah!!! THE SLINKY!!!!
------------------
Jeff Chamberlain emailled some great photos (check out his recent article in the Surfer's Journal)

Sam George



Dave Parmenter
E- that's really very funny! Much funnier than the fact that I missed some nice surf yesterday thinking, "no worries, it'll be even better on tuesday" but alas.....
Posted by: antman at October 18, 2005 10:05 AMBwaahhhh! no fun surf for me!
I feel your pain antman. I watched from my window as wave after wave was riden by everyone but me. Bwaaahhh haaa haaa.... Statistics homework.
Posted by: Dennis at October 18, 2005 10:12 AMLast night after work was pretty darn fun.
Best part was that homemade board #1 works just fine in overhead surf.
Posted by: Mr Doof at October 18, 2005 10:13 AMoffshore winds groom long period windswell into long sloping shoulders worthy of 3-4 cutbacks per wave
Beginner logger knees his way up.
Aggro shortboarder tries to follow me around.
Stoke.
Posted by: blakestah at October 18, 2005 10:16 AMwe believe you and .....

Posted by: at October 18, 2005 10:26 AMDennis did you already buy your stats books? I have all three or four of those damn things from spring cuase they don't buy them back. SchoolScam if you ask me. Stats homework is the bomb after a long day at the office!
Posted by: kookdom at October 18, 2005 10:37 AMkookdom - yeah, I bought it used. The only good thing is it's used for two semesters. School books are a total scam.
Posted by: Dennis at October 18, 2005 10:59 AMIs the flying boat for reals??
Posted by: Mexi at October 18, 2005 11:05 AMnice photoshop on the second to last picture, had me going for a minute.
Posted by: the janitor at October 18, 2005 11:05 AM
Posted by: namers get owned at October 18, 2005 11:35 AMMaybe peeps in Hawaii are more respectful and can handle the water in a more professional and cautious manner. Probably a cultural thing as no one in is or her right mind would ever cross wires by doing something lame witout at least thinking twice...
Here surfers don't have a cultural bearing; how does one identify a Cali native?
What cultural stops do we have outside of local hoolaganism?
Tourist, Kook, Larry, Lonnie - all the same. Great to see some of the older crew out last night - some have slowed and lost it a bit - others are still doing it like they always have.
40, 45, 50 years old and still ripping. It's a feat
for us paddling to keep up with the waves like we used to. Plus all the younger chums fighting to make a name or place for themselves in what is obviously, by the looks on their faces, still a veery foreign place.
Saw some bloke form Texas (his lingo) take off behind another surfer - the peak already breaking on his back and he goes anyway - almost gets to his feet and then slips out; his stubby funboard almost hits the better surfer out in front of him. Then he gets into this long conversation apologizing; the rest of us are shaking our heads - laughing at all his silly Texas reasoning. What a nut!
Posted by: Hippy Johnny at October 18, 2005 11:36 AMThe worlds worst left was packed sunday. Why not saturday? It was bigger - more of challenge... sunday...like raisins in a bowl of few flakes.
20 odd dudes sitting like ducks on the inside -off the bowl - really hard to maneuver through them all.
Then there are those brave Barney's who jump out and proceed to sit on top of the take off spot - all in the way and obvious, backing out or eating big time before they realize that the worlds shittiest left is actually kinda threatening and dangerous. The Dad with his two mini surfer sons in the midst of the crowd...wtf! Too dangerous a spot for kids I'd say - maybe a smaller day...
What is with Skeletor? Coast Guard had to rescue him - in fact they have rescued him after dark on odd nights...and now they have grown tired of him - goodbye Skeletor - you'll be missed; and that's Odd with the whistle.
Hippy J - I think you just need more fiber in your diet.
Posted by: Dennis at October 18, 2005 11:45 AMChicama:

Santa Caterina:

Steamer Lane:

Rincon:

OB:

Posted by: namers rule at October 18, 2005 11:45 AMThe WAX:
Sherman never got respect from the locals at his beach. Maybe it was the SPEX he had to wear in order to even see an approaching wave or perhaps the old Primo wetsuit his Father had gave him. For sure they laughed at his Cheyne Horan Lazor Zap. But Sherman knew better. He was born with an IQ of 175 and a photographic memory. He understood the science behind such a design. Science what a square all the groms at his school said.
Sherman did everything he could to try and fit in. He tried smoking weed with the guys, he passed out and they pants'd him, shave his eybrows. He went to the surf flicks with cute science girls and get heckled. And always a ripe target for a malicious Frisbee.
One hot glassy 3-5' Fall afternoon. Sherman was waxing up. Tad, the gnarliest of the hasslers approached Sherman. "Dude, do you have any wax I can borrow. Sherman stopped waxing his board and handed the lump to Tad. Tad smiled and said, your all right dude. They paddled out Sherman and Tad. Tad gave Sherman the first set that approached. Sherman sure footed his way down the line. Paddling back out Sherman was stoked. Arriving at the peak Tad turned and said "Thanks for the wax, you'll get another wave next time you bring me more wax."
Sherman found his in. Soon enough he was supplying all of his surfing nemesis wax. And they where all giving him a wave or 2 a day. Sherman got better fast. He was carving and floating and slashing and let's not forget how well single fins work in the tube..............
Sherman started to get greedy. He wanted more. And he had a plan in place. Time would tell.
Sherman formulated his own wax.....It was killer wax really killer. Sherman had cultured a flesh and neoprene bacteria that he mixed in with the wax. The bacteria laid dormant until catalyzied. The catalyst was Dr. Zoggs. On this praticular 6' offshore day, all of Sherman's nemisis borrwed Shermans Dr. Zoogs to wax up before they paddled out.
Finally Sherman made his way into the water. Tad was stroking for a wave when he stood up, he shreiked, his wetsuit was being eaten and just as you noticed his wetsuit, his feet dissappred in a pool of blood. He screamed a death shrill falling off his board in the pit of a barrell. It was just begining. Soon all that was before Sherman would be his. bbwwaaaaahhhhh ha, ha, ha, ha......................
Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at October 18, 2005 11:47 AMawesome 3to5!! ha!!
I'll never borrow wax from Sherman again.
Posted by: e at October 18, 2005 11:50 AM..speaking of homemade boards, not only is that board pic (above the flying boat) got to have one of the butt-ugliest "paintjobs" possible to mankind, the experimental fin set-up indicates someone with a LOT of time on their hands.
Posted by: a salad bowl for a fin at October 18, 2005 11:54 AMWhy'd you leave out your spot?

Posted by: namers get owned at October 18, 2005 11:56 AMThe Shark

Posted by: scary at October 18, 2005 12:00 PMbbwwaaaaahhhhh ha, ha, ha, ha......................
Dorks get OWNED!! jeez, how about I OWN your MOM! Moss landing was crowded yesterday. Its south of santa cruz about 10 minute drive on the 1. its also a state park.
Posted by: Home Owner at October 18, 2005 12:20 PMDid anyone see 60 minutes last sunday? Romanowski was on there and he apparently somewhere in nor cal. They showed a clip of him riding a wave on his longboard with an oar screaming. Anyone ever see this psycho ex football player in the water? If he surfs like he plays football he probably has no ediquette
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 12:23 PMDude, romo rocks. imagine the paddling power you'd have if you were mainlining HGH and roids. your balls would shrink up nice and your wetsuit would fit even better too.
Posted by: ROMO at October 18, 2005 12:30 PMToo much time on their hands department:
"owned" obsessive blog poster
Posted by: I feel your pain, dude at October 18, 2005 12:36 PMclearly can't get work as hack wannabe graphic designer,
suffering shut-in blog troll, most probably in a wheelchair, somehow daytime tv and eating from cereal boxes just
not cutting it..
Nice 3to5. I need to get some of that wax. Locals here keep smacking me in the back of my head. Now I have a permenant cowlick.
Posted by: Dennis at October 18, 2005 12:36 PMSeriously, that namer's get owned guy got WAY too much time on his hands.
Posted by: MSG at October 18, 2005 12:39 PMSF INFRASTRUCTURE GRADES POORLY:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/10/18/BAG14F8SOF1.DTL
SF, she's not exactly an infrastructural honors student....
GOOD NEWS: wastewater gets an A-
BAD NEWS: handling of urban stormwater = D
Just a reminder that the first big storm will indeed bring us lots of filthy broth into the line-up, as most of us have seen for years and years on end. The city's infrastructure is antiquated and we are behind the times. Surfers get sick every year from this circumstance.
Posted by: Monkey Milk at October 18, 2005 12:40 PMHe should get a PHD in google-ology.
Posted by: Namer guy at October 18, 2005 12:42 PMit was pretty frustratingly crowded last night. imho. i need to not have a job anymore, i could have surfed at 4 yesterday when it was perfect from what i hear..
Posted by: bagel at October 18, 2005 12:44 PMBTW, I was at the Java Beach Coffee House on Sunday and saw a notice for a Golden Gate Parks and Recreation meeting tonight at Fort Mason. The topic is fires on the beach. If anybody can make it out there, please do and hopefully voice your opinion (or mine) that fires should be illegal anywhere on the beach. I would go but I have school tonight and it's a pre-midterm review.
Posted by: Dennis at October 18, 2005 12:46 PM
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 12:50 PM
Posted by: namers get owned at October 18, 2005 12:52 PMLinda Mar

Posted by: at October 18, 2005 12:55 PMSeen Romo several times in the summer. Pulled that oar-paddling stuff over and over.
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 01:06 PMFunny thing is when he actually gets a wave he's clearly not at all the waterman he'd like us all to believe he is. Just kinda kooky, burying rails, positioning badly etc.
Maybe he should just catch some waves and learn a bit, instead of trying to draw attention to himself.
BOOGERS GET EATEN!
Posted by: owners get named at October 18, 2005 01:08 PMWhoa, that's a beautiful day at el cap above. Never seen it bigger than one foot long board cruisers down there.
Posted by: mig at October 18, 2005 01:16 PMAnd I'm ok whith that fire on the beach above johnny . HOT
You got me good with that Jonny Cash picture bro! Not only are you hilariously creative, you also have your finger on the pulse of pop culture! You should make t-shirts!
Posted by: namers own your mom! at October 18, 2005 01:19 PM
Posted by: weenies get rented at October 18, 2005 01:38 PMsomeday I will
RULE THE WORLD
Oh - bad namer dude.
Posted by: INOKEA at October 18, 2005 01:42 PMLast night it was good for ten minutes.
Phuck! anybody seen the cover of the latest Surfer Journal ?? New Zealand seems to rule!
Posted by: judahpeak at October 18, 2005 01:52 PM- "Transplant from Hell": (Actual quote uttered to me in the water one day in ‘89.)
Ok, ok - ok. So I wasn't BORN is San Francisco. I was born in the California Hospital on Hope St. in Los Angeles in 1959. OK ????!!!!!!! So what. In '84 I moved here after being a three time college dropout in Santa Barbara and bailing to Hawaii every other semester. Came up here to finish my English degree at S.F. State and to surf. My Dad had been here since '75 with a lithography business on Sheridan Street south of Market. I saw the waves.
- "Cut to 2004. I can think of 30 guys over 40 years old who are still ready punch the first chump that gets out of line. 'What is out of line'? you ask. It's the same here as anywhere. We have a hundred years or more of California surfing families. Let's face it - very few people are actually local, AS IN BORN IN CALIFORNIA. Then there's the dry land social pecking order and line-up hierarchy to deal with. All contestable issues but a moot point when one is knee deep in an argument or an altercation in the water or on the beach. I've seen a lot of fights, been witness to some sick shit here and in Hawaii. Pure localism and random moods in the water - I would say if you feel "vibed" look or paddle the other way - but whatever you do do DO NOT engage anyone - it isn't worth it to any of us anymore...mostly..."
- "These people bring their MAG attitudes, hair gel and sun block into the lineup as if it's some kind of soiree. If you're so hot and so fucking tough what the fuck are you doing here? - go hang with the North Shore gang and see how long you last. And to top it off said individuals usually have no raw talent or actual surfing ability. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! Here there and EVERYWHERE - hanging out and "acting" cool."
- "Call it aging, call it mellowing, call it focused - whatever the heck, - I don't have the time to worry about anyone else anymore. I am a friendly person - not at all the DICK I used to be - 'right...' some who know best would say.
Give way if there is a backdoor and don't drop in - pretty basic advice for surfing anywhere don't you think?"
- "I gravitated to Laniakea mostly - I felt comfortable in the long rights and the crew out there after awhile kind of got used to my ugly black tomato face. I surfed Sunset a bunch - haggled it out with all the rest. Never been been so humbled in my life as out there."
- "I'm over the art world thing and especially the "surf art" world. It has become saturated with pastels and artists coniving to create an original which is impossible when its all been done before. WHAT GALLS ME THE MOST lately ARE THE ESTABLISHED ARTISTS WHO JUMP IN TO CREATE "SURF ART." Longo, Schnabel - you ARE PUNTERS~~~~~~~."
- "A selfish solitary pursuit indeed. All of us out there trying to achieve perfect oneness in a jammed shit sea."
Posted by: You Decide.... at October 18, 2005 01:55 PMRead, listen up, understand, draw your own conclusion: http://www.niceness.org/surf/interviews/bvb.html
god.......do any of you have to work for a living?
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 02:00 PMhey namer dude ..where's horeseshoes? does it break best on a high or low tide ?
Posted by: newbie kook at October 18, 2005 02:04 PMnamer = lamer
Posted by: grow up losers at October 18, 2005 02:06 PMThis thread is so last month
Posted by: Burnt Reynolds at October 18, 2005 02:12 PMAny of you complainers actually surf? Why don't you share some of the good experiences with us. Stoke is vogue.
Posted by: Dennis at October 18, 2005 02:13 PMI see namer didn't mention Lindy. Looks like that elitist is trying to protect the only break he can handle from interlopers! HYPOCRITE!!
Posted by: namer = lamer at October 18, 2005 02:15 PMWell. Sorry to double post. lame. But when your jet lagged friends have gone to sleep at 11pm, there's not much to do. 3 months without surf is scary.. Especially being in a Camodian internet cafe. This shit is weird. Anyway, pics at my blog, more to come. Top of the Eifel today, friends almost puked. I drank a liter up there. Good tines.
Mahalo amigos!!
Posted by: Ian at October 18, 2005 02:16 PMIan
flat landers go home

Posted by: ms. lee at October 18, 2005 02:19 PMif you don't live here don't surf here
~hair gel = cool. Gotta look good for the ladies after I get out of the surf
~sun block = cool, gotta watch out for skin cancer and not get a face that looks like roast beef.
~raw talent/surfing ability = got some, but maybe not as much as the rippers out there. I "ain't never scared", except when it's over 12 foot!)
~hanging out and "acting" cool." = cool! Love acting cool. But I have to admit, I don't hang out at the beach too much. Too busy. Gotta get back to work. Or chase girls. Hanging out at the beach is for philosophical types, artists, dreamers, etc. I'm just a workin' slob!
Posted by: Surfseeker7 at October 18, 2005 02:21 PMLets just get it over with and name 'em all! Go on and do it. It'll be fun to hear the weenies whine. Make a few up while you are at it.
Posted by: msurfer at October 18, 2005 02:23 PMOh yeah.. Two shops on apposing street corners is the new vogue in PARIS. Better catch up SF. You slackers. Basque country is where it's at. Catch up with the new "pink." fools.
Posted by: TREND.. CHOCOLATE BQGUETTES ARE MONEY.. BITCH.. at October 18, 2005 02:24 PMYeah, I'll start the naming: Sloat was SUPER fun last night, but bagel is right, crowded; not so crowded, but crowded enough. Bagel, it was damn near perfect, as it ever gets at O.B., at 4. I skipped out of work at 3, made it out to the lineup at 4. The sets sorta died out around 5-6, but it was still a helluva lot of fun.
You decide..., word.
Work? I can't remember the last time I really worked. :)
Posted by: MSG at October 18, 2005 02:31 PMJudahPeak, NZ has great surf. Both islands (all 4 actually, the Chathams kick apparently if you don't mind the wilderness of the place). Much undiscovered surf too, Fiordland being nearly untouched thus far (no roads). Away from the main centres it's like CA was a couple of decades ago., park the car, walk across the farm, have the bay (with luck) to yourself.
I'm looking forward to getting home for a visit in a couple of months, and hitting Rarotonga for a couple of weeks on the way.
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 02:34 PMI'll name some.
Posted by: Surfseeker7 at October 18, 2005 02:39 PMFulton
Kirkham
Lawton
Moraga
[super secret spot that begins with "N"]
Ortega
Pacheco
Quintara
Rivera [I hear the niceness crew surf this spot. Better just to stay away...}
Santiago
Taraval
etc.
etc.
Bonfire issues discussed at Ft. Mason tonight 7pm.
article here:
http://www.sfexaminer.com/articles/2005/10/18/news/20051018_ne06_bonfires.txt
I think it's pretty cool that people can have bonfires in the city. I've enjoyed the privilege once or twice. But it adds a weird thuged-out element to the sunset dist. plus trashes the beach. The beach is looking pretty bad right now b/c of the great weather & increased traffic we've had.
Posted by: Walker at October 18, 2005 02:45 PMYou guys really fuck yourselves over with this naming thing. SHAME ON YOU!
Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at October 18, 2005 02:46 PMMargo flowing...

Posted by: dano at October 18, 2005 02:46 PMOh, and like you are not involved?
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 02:49 PMOccy attempting to bottom turn...

Posted by: dano at October 18, 2005 02:55 PMnamers will never surf here anyway...

Posted by: naming rulz at October 18, 2005 02:58 PMLunada Bay:
Isn't there a joy in EARNING knowledge about all the various spots along the coast and when they work over many, many years... isn't that a part of the whole deal. I don't know, is that elitist? If I don't know about a spot - I'm probably not ready to surf there.
Posted by: Walker at October 18, 2005 03:00 PMRegan King's drop-knee cutback...

Ok anon trolls... you can resume your negative karma ways.
Posted by: dano at October 18, 2005 03:01 PMMSG you are a full on kook- Go back to Pipe or wherever you're from. You claim out your ass- surf and shut the hell up. But you probably can't surf that is why you have to claim so much.
Posted by: kookpatrol at October 18, 2005 03:04 PMYou Decide...word:
"Give way if there is a backdoor and don't drop in - pretty basic advice for surfing anywhere don't you think?"
Apply this fairly and without bias and you might be on to something. But the process gets mishandled and confused so often, it's troubling. Who are the arbiters of such arguments? What are the principles, when everyone is expressing their own trying to create a buzz for themselves???
Investigation continues....puts things in a whole 'nothah direction.
Posted by: Monkey Milk at October 18, 2005 03:07 PMBVB did you get your english degree yet? good luck to you old boy.
Posted by: stay in school kids. at October 18, 2005 03:08 PMThe atmosphere on this blog apparently mirrors the weather at the beach. Today is not so good.
Posted by: Walker at October 18, 2005 03:15 PMthis is what happens when namers hit the killer spots that already have a local crew dominating it:
Posted by: Go get it at October 18, 2005 03:15 PMhttp://www.thewavemag.com/pagegen.php?pagename=article&articleid=21736
The increased traffic does not trash the beach.
Bonfires do.
You can have an Indian Summer day smoking hot, thousands and thousands on the beach, every last one of them packs out their trash. That night, the bonfires come out, hardly any of them pack their trash out. As a "walk to the beach" resident of the Outer Sunset, I am sick of it and sincerely hope they ban and enforce a COMPLETE ban on bonfires, and I am 100% sure our beaches will be a lot lot cleaner.
If the little spoiled pyros can't pick up after themselves, let them party someplace else.
Posted by: blakestah at October 18, 2005 03:15 PMPS. Are'nt you like 5'1 dude?
Posted by: sisk at October 18, 2005 03:18 PMsurfrider in WA successfully fought something similar in westport a few years back, let's hope they can win the good fight here.
http://surfingthemag.com/news/surfing-pulse/seawalls-101305/
Posted by: j at October 18, 2005 03:19 PMKaiser and Hottie post surf session:

Posted by: happier days at October 18, 2005 03:24 PMIf I was king, the beach would be closed and patrolled from 10 PM til 5 AM. Most state parks are closed from sunset to dawn.
Posted by: Dennis at October 18, 2005 03:29 PMgeez.. ok.. yeah the "namers get owned" guy is a bit strange and needs to stop getting images from stevesphotosite.com or whatever.. but.. PLEASE don't name sensitive spots or their details on this site. PLEASE!! I deleted the posts above. Ultimately i'm the only one who has to take responsibility for the site. and i don't want to piss people off unnessessarily (or however you spell it).
3to5 said it best and i myself used to be a flagrant namer... vague is vogue.. it's true!!
Posted by: e at October 18, 2005 03:33 PM...Vibe meter rising....
Posted by: LURKING NAMER at October 18, 2005 03:38 PMy'all are funny.
Posted by: bagel at October 18, 2005 03:42 PMSorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously though, I think the bad vibe is being so scared to name and discuss spots that you wish violence on people, not actually naming them.
Naming a spot is NOT going to make it more crowded, that's just ludicrous. Maybe that was true 20 years ago, but there is no such thing as a secret spot in CA anymore. If you're good enough of a surfer to find and surf some random out-of-the-way spot that is only named on some blog, then I'm sure you already know where the spot is. Fuck, everythings already out there on wannasurf and surfline anyways.
Out of respect for e, I will quit it though.
Posted by: Namer at October 18, 2005 03:49 PMI am with Blakestah. Bonfires are bad for the beach. Broken glass, cans, nails and trash are the norm not the exception after bonfires on the beach. Walking without booties down the beach is always a crap shoot at the north end of the beach.
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 04:02 PMthanks namer!
a few weeks ago i surfed a spot i never knew of. It's a nice wave a few hours from here. Even though it's written about on the internet i never knew how to get there or what it was all about. A friend took me. Spots are sensitive. Every little thing contribes to crowds, including this site.
I feel bad for the part i've played in contributing to crowds.
Posted by: e at October 18, 2005 04:05 PMNamer why'd you leave out lindy? HYPOCRITE!
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 04:06 PMStop it! L---- M-- is my secret spot, I found it when I got really hungry and stopped at T--- B--- for a 7-L---- burritto. Low and behold, there it was before me in all its majesty!
I couldn't believe that only a core-group of 200 locals were surfing its 3 foot, cascading umber closeouts, gently scalloped by on-shore winds.
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 04:17 PMLinda Mar!

Posted by: at October 18, 2005 04:20 PMThis article isn't convincing about localism. It uses the word kook about 50 times but the issue at localised beaches isn't about inexperienced surfers.
Posted by: Joe O at October 18, 2005 04:31 PMheres a rad gif i found of one of cali's secret spots that aint really a big secret.. bbr knows what im talking about..
Posted by: bagel at October 18, 2005 04:31 PMThe whole naming of spots that are WELL known is so far beyond ridiculous, I have never in my 17 years of wave riding heard of anything more stupid. These spots are so fickle, that talking about a session the day before is not going to reflect on the way the waves are breaking today. Here, i'll name another spot: WWW.WANNASURF.COM. Get used to the crowds, it's been happening, and it's going to either get worse, or slowly give up. Surfing is not a lifestyle, believe it or not, people move away from the coastlines, people get old, people get bored (I stopped surfing for 5 years cause I just got bored with it), pop culture progresses. Someday, you'll start seeing chick movies with girls white water rafting, or some shit, and there will be an explosion of people white water rafting. I remember in Hawaii, the surfing population dwindled ten years ago when it wasn't so cool to surf anymore, and it was cooler to skate, or move to the mainland.
Anyways, out of respect for e, I won't name spots after surf sessions up here.
Hey kookpatrol, anytime, anywhere.
Posted by: MSG at October 18, 2005 04:38 PME, you get it. Everything little thing we do does add to crowds. The key is to find the balance between enjoying our passion with others in a positive way, or being a dumb fuck and just tossing in the towel and basically saying that it does not matter. Your site is a good thing E, there are a lot of people out here who are at a time in their life where working is more necessary than surfing and this little link to the surf world helps keep the day going. Keep it up, and thanks for the editing.
Hey Namer, let me just say this to you: if you think that it is all done for, you have some exploring to do and you do not even know it. Shut your fucking mouth and get out there… you will be shocked and thrilled at what you might find…
By the way, if you feel the urge to name, just name yourself first. Maybe then you will feel a little more responsibility for what you say.
Posted by: web at October 18, 2005 04:39 PMnamer i guess you dont know about the few secret spots in California because they are not published and never will be.
Posted by: toneman at October 18, 2005 04:47 PMsmiles to all
Posted by: toneman at October 18, 2005 04:48 PMFALL and WINTER RULE
Posted by: toneman at October 18, 2005 04:48 PMIF YOU EXPOLRE YOU MAY GET SKUNKED BUT WHEN YOU FIND IT YOU WILL REJOICE
Posted by: toneman at October 18, 2005 04:50 PMexplore (sorry bout the caps)
Posted by: toneman at October 18, 2005 04:51 PMdamn bagel that wave looks fun!
Posted by: e at October 18, 2005 05:01 PMoh yeah
Posted by: toneman at October 18, 2005 05:02 PMthere are no parking spaces or cities near the secret spots I have found and surfed the last 30 years.
e
Posted by: toneman at October 18, 2005 05:03 PMyou have not contributed to crowding in any way
nice sequence bagel, definitely my favorite beachy in cali
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 05:05 PMok
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 05:16 PMI've waited all day to post this
I surfed a pefect left sandbar inside the bay at the apex of the last big swell in the afternoon on Sunday
I've been watching this bar form over the course of the last 5 months and it is indeed perfectly set up for big swells and low tide
long lefts
insane
so hard to belive but it's true
wish I had a boat
I am completely on this spot
putting it out there because accessing it is so close to impossible without a boat.....ok, those in the know have the info now
hopefully we can share some waves in the few microns of moments when it happens
email me if you want to discuss
I'm obsessed with this break
and it's my life's mission this winter to score it
and I will
peace
i think thats the wave curren body surfs in that lost movie you loaned me e...not sure though
Posted by: bagel at October 18, 2005 05:16 PMFuck, I was surfing the "secret" north coast reefs before half of you here even started surfing. Where I'm from, nobody freaks out about a simple name. Its only in this internet dreamland, almost all of you are dot-com dumb fucks southern cal or the mid-west that people pretend to be hard core and get slighted. How many of you have ever even lived north of San Rafael and still less than 20 minutes from the beach? How many of you think Occidental is a college in LA? Then don't tell me whether I can talk about my backyard, m'kay?
And yeah, like I'm gonna name myself so some psycho local can start stalking me. Now thats a secret you'll never know, no matter how good a surfer you are and how long you've lived here.
I'm just so convinced that a name means nothing, that I'm not even afraid to drop the ones I grew up surfing. It aint a fucking map. There's a reason all the Bay Area and SC spots are crowded- a shit load of people live here! If this many people lived in Big Sur, then those spots would be swamped too!
Hey, there's a really hot chick named Marrisa that I want to fuck, but you're not gonna find her and fuck her just because I dropped her name!
Posted by: Namer at October 18, 2005 05:32 PMYa E.
Ya Toneman.
and Ya WEB.
MSG, did they run you off da islands brah?
Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at October 18, 2005 05:32 PM
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 05:40 PMwhile om posting gif's
Posted by: bagel at October 18, 2005 05:43 PMum, I just fucked Marissa...thanks for that.
Posted by: flap at October 18, 2005 06:03 PM3to5,
Nah, I got off da island, because they said I'm not Hawaiian enough. J/K'ing. It's because of work. But, to be honest, the punk factor in the water out there sucked. It's also crowded like a mofo in the lineups. I'm starting to get dropped in by the haoles out there. SERIOUSLY. I mean, not just local haoles, but the mainland haoles. Mainland haoles at LOCAL spots on the west side of the island. That's like having a bunch of foreigners come to, I don't know, some heavy local spot in Santa Cruz and start calling the locals off the waves. It's an effing travesty.
Posted by: MSG at October 18, 2005 06:12 PMthanks bagel
Posted by: Brian at October 18, 2005 06:40 PMHalf the fun of surf travel is the search. Researching spots on the internet takes the fun out of the search, I've spent more than twenty years traveling up and down the coast from Alaska down through Chile and the best best times and sweetest spots were the ones I found on my own. Most were surfed before but I found them as far as I'm concerned. It's out there so don't ruin it for others.
Posted by: Mexi at October 18, 2005 06:49 PMIf you think e's contributes to crowds or any other maladroit surfing factor, consider this instead:
How many shitheads went down to Wise this weekend and, for $1000, sold their soul to another SUV commercial that -- yet again -- decides to suckle on the already-exhausted surfing fad's withered teat? Where does that rank on the UN-niceness shame meter?
Posted by: Monkey Milk at October 18, 2005 07:41 PMMSG the travesty is people like you who come over with your attitude. Drop names, yet whine about crowds and mainland haoles? You're a f'in joke. Tread lightly bro.
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 07:47 PMI've got NO attitude. I'm like that guy, You Decide... I share his same sentiments: life's too short for aggression, intolerance, and morons like you and the other anonymous guys trolling here. Say what you will about me, but atleast I don't hide my name. I don't have anything against locals, local haoles, mainland haoles, crowds, but I do have a lot against people that disrespect for no reason, e.g. dropping in, or dropping in on someone and then trying to start a fight with them. I have yet to drop in on anyone on purpose, and if I did by accident, i'll pull off and apologize.
Some people just don't get it: the crowds are an unstoppable force, like traffic. Road rage and bickering is not going to stop all the cars on the road. There wasn't the world wide web back when I used to surf Hawaii, but there were lots of surf mags, videos, and the mass media to make up for that. I went to surf with my buddies, or by myself, and just made best with the situation. We go, we surf, we have fun -- crowded or not, and not sweat the petty stuff. As long as some dude wasn't dropping in on us, giving us stinkeye, hassling us, wanting to fight us, etc... we'd say that the surf session was a good one. Locals, haoles, sharks, as long as one isn't biting us in the ass, we're cool, happy, fun. By the way, Da Hui, Brock Little, Johnny Boy Gomes, some of the local pro Hawaiian spongers, can all kiss my ass, they're all fuckin' pricks.
Anyways this conversation is OVER. I don't wanna hear anymore shit about crowds and whatever. Just some good surf stories.
Posted by: MSG at October 18, 2005 08:42 PMwhen i take her to the drags she really whines
giddy up giddy up 6 in line
she always turns in the slowest time
giddy up giddy up 6 in line
my 3 speed no quad nega traction 6 in line...
'71 at weasel reef. had to hitch hike home cause the guy who owned the pos '67 plymouth got offended and kicked me out of the car... get some perspective on where you are at and where some of us are coming from. please.
Posted by: at October 18, 2005 09:12 PMif you contribute to this blog, you are by choice a part of it and it means that you give a shit about what goes on here, whether you agree with it or not.
Posted by: betho at October 18, 2005 09:44 PMnaming spots that most folks know about doesn't really matter. you know why? because everybody owns them. that's the law of the ocean from stupid, drowning, dangerous kook to mr. glamourous laird hamilton.
watching spots along the coast is like a religion. when they go off, it's like the rapture. those places are too precious to cheapen with publication.
remember aloha.
I love watching the USCG running drills at the Humboldt Bay jaws. They often fly those 50' rescue boats through the air. I don't doubt that the little boat was flying. I just wonder about the landing.

Posted by: fishmonger at October 18, 2005 09:49 PM
Posted by: msg - pull the trigger until it goes click at October 19, 2005 12:26 AMFirst off most of the folks here just surf the the local spots and i know you know which ones im refferring to.
Leaving the city to go "Up North" i hope you leave your habits behind when you make the journey up this way and it will be much more "enjoyable", if thats possible.
It still amazes me why more folks just dont make the 2 hour flight into Cabo instead and enjoy the warm water, cold beer and mellow waves rather than making the 2 hour drive with $3.00/gallon gas prices to endure FREEZING cold water, spooky conditions, and the very REAL presence of Senor White Shark and or the biggest friggen seals ive seen.
There is a difference between being hard core and stupidity.
Know it, live it, learn it.
I grew surfing the North Coast and trust me there are way better places(Baja for one) that are much more enjoyable especially when you are bound by work/family/time constraints.
Vague is vogue? Mmmnnn i always believed surfing was about substance over style, function not fashion. When was the last time any of you intentionally stoked an unexpecting person?
So consider the next unfamiliar face at your own "Secret Spot" to be a friend because everyone was a rookie at one time or another.
Rise Above all the juvinile behavior that you see in SC because most of that riff raff isnt going anywhere in life and doesnt appreciate what a gift surfing is to begin with.
Posted by: Francis at October 19, 2005 08:13 AMI'm predicting crowds will lessen when long time surfers quit after get bored and sick of the bitchy personality types exibited on this site.
Posted by: 33years_here_BVB_is_a_lameass at October 19, 2005 08:16 AM