E's Surf Report

"due to nagging back soreness/tightness/bitchiness still lingering from oversurfing down in centro"....i feel bad for you...really.....

side note: i know a few of you niceness peeps mentioned going to the donavon show a few weeks back at the independent, i just received a copy of the show on cd, if anybody here is into bootleg concerts and wants me to burn it for 'em hit me up on email.

J, you're talkin about the Donovan Frankenreiter show right? I'm seeing him, Jack Johnson and G. Love in August. Anyone else going? Should be a banger!

Oh yeah, E, hope your back gets better soon!

ian - correct. i'll be at the show w/ g. love at the greek, too. g. love is fun live.

I'm off to New Jersey tonight for a major family discussion about my being a "Bum" in California. Gonna miss the big south. Bummer.

Hopefully will score some olas mas grande out of the east. Some big hurricane action going on right now.

Smell you fools when I get back!
Lates!

Back issues seem to be endemic to surfing. Good luck with recuperating!

You (and everyone except two guys who arrived when I left at 7:30) missed an epic kook morning in San Mateo County: consistent, glassy waves that had to be at least double or triple overfoot! A gorgeous, quiet little shimmering cove all to myself and my just-repaired longboard--which held up to the severe punishment just fine and was just the ticket for these little rides.

Drove from OB down to Pleasure Point in search for the good stuff today. Ended up all the way back at VFW's and jumped in just to get wet. Maybe 1-2 foot but it started to clean up slightly. Maybe tonight?

Ian & j...i think Kaiser snagged tix for us and our ladies. we should rap closer to the event to make a plan.

e...as a fellow back-sufferer from time-to-time...i feel for ya. get better soon and, in the meantime, at least ya have the satisfaction of a noble cause behind the injury!

Klooless...way to charge! nice moto in these times of dismal conditions.

anyone know the lowdown on the riding giants screening tonight at metreon?

ABOUT STOLEN CARS FROM SAN MATEO BEACH LOTS

Last friday morning i pulled into the lot at Montara at about 7:30. There were a couple cars parked there. As i pulled in a saw a guy looking through the windows of a white stationwagony type car like he was trying to see what was in it. As i pulled closer he saw me and started walking away from the car to his own.... i then noticed that his own car was a TOW TRUCK and he was in uniform and all. So then i thought maybe he was there because someone loacked their keys in the car or something.,.... but no one else was around. the guy jumped back into his big blue and yellow tow truck and drove south on highway one.

i don't know exactly what was going on or if i am paranoid, but it definitely seemed "suspicious".

so my paranoia got me thinking about tow truck drivers who have the tools for easy access into "locked" cars.

anyways, long time reader, first time poster....

-B.R. (who's sometimes glad he drives a piece of shit car and carries an empty wallet)

Boyd and I decided on Ano Nuevo for Friday's south swell action. I heard it's a great secret spot that goes absolutely nuclear on a south!

I'm headin' to Fort Point for this southy.

Gonna be mackin' there.

Need some advice: know anyone who's really good with older board repairs? I have a late-70s, early 80s Wilderness board that I snapped in half on a hollow day a little while back (remember hollow?). looking for recs on someone who can work some magic. Thanks

OB: The mirror on the Hubble telescope has bigger warps than the ocean did this morning. But. It. Is. Rideable. If the wind dies down a silly arvo is possible. Currently sunny and blowing out and ridiculous knee high peaky moosh cruising in cross directions. Since it's the smallest day of the year I went out on principle and who do I bump into but a rippin' Brazilian on a 5'7"! He was totally snagging little rides. Hats off!

Im hitting up Easter Island tomorrow with my new SUPER SUV AND SUPER FRIENDS and JLA.

My new SUV is a LINCOLN "Hovernator". Total hovercraft, jet engines, DVD and some effing amazing surf racks. I can carry 40 boards, two Personal Wanker Crafts. And Donavan FrankenFarter is going to be singing lounge songs all the way there with his band of cool friends and their moustaches.

Anyone in?

I think the locals are breaking into cars. They feel like they are entitled to the whole ocean and frankly I'm getting tired of their attitudes.

If you don't want them breaking into your car, may I suggest getting one of those geriatric toilet things and placing it in your back seat. They can be found at thrift stores or hospital supply places. It's like a toilet seat with handles and folds down nicely to fit in a car.

If that doesn't discourage them, I don't know what will.

elais.. I got window.

Bagel, the showing of Riding Giants tonight at the Metreon is the first premier in SF. I think the SF Film Society is hosting or affiliated. When Step Into Liquid came out, they had access to a premier there as well.

I got a few tickets for it through a magazine friend but they are accounted for. Besides, all the seating is first come first serve. But, if you want me to give you a shout upon arrival if I can score you ducet, let me know.

Elias, save me a seat. I am in!

Other sources are calling the incoming south smaller than I am. It didn't hit Christmas Island/Hawaii that hard - but its fetch was more concentrated on us. I still expect 3 ft 17 sec Friday morning. But Stormsurf expects 1-2 ft 17 sec.

It is strange, because this storm (due Friday) had the same open ocean sea heights as the following NZ swell - but the earlier swell came from over 2000 nautical miles closer! The NZ swell had about 500-600 miles of fetch for us - the earlier one about 250-300 miles of fetch.

The NZ storm was active for a LONG time, but only had an appropriate angle for us for 12-18 hours. The closer storm had over 24 hours of fetch for us.....

I guess by next week this time it will all be clear!

Kaiser, what are you wearing to the premier?

I'm going to waste some company time dissecting the positives and negatives of 70's and 80's surf stars. Why? My project just got cancelled. I have some time on my hands.

But what makes him a wanker is this: His trademark move was a soul arch, as seen above. It almost looks cool in still photos, but in films you can see it for what it is: a pose, that serves no function, doesn't flow, and is far too self-conscious and mechanical to be described as "soul". Donovan is currently guilty of the same type of photo-op, con-man soul arches. How can it be a soul arch when you're doing it to get a photo incentive from your sponsor?

Below we have Glen Winton, an 80's oz goofyfoot known as Mr. X. This guy was a fucking pimp. He had a rat tail or mullet, ate organic foods, and did section floaters and airs before they were in style. Check out his roundhouse: poised, flowing, no loss of speed or momentum, burying the rail of a four-fin that is most likely about 3 inches thick. Best of all -- check out the single webbed glove a la Michael Jackson. How eighties is that? Pretty killer, if you ask me.

A true legend: Mark Richards. Humble, unique gawky style. He won four titles even though he was riding twin fins in Hawaii. Ever tried a twin in huge hollow waves? It's pretty hard not to spin out. Instead of spinning out, MR did these bizarre turns, like the shot below. Check the track: he's going really, really fast, sliding tail, doing a double arm layback, and he still looks smooth and in control. This is one of those rare turns that still looks fresh and innovative, nearly 20 years later.

Now on to another wanker: Joey Buran, the California Kid. This guy started out kinda cool -- he used to smoke tons of pot and go really fast on twins. Then he found Christ and turned into a total donkey. Check out the pose in the barrel at pipe, above. It looks like he's doing the Hulkamania "i can't hear you thing." And the shot below is just plain sad... the jesus shirt, bright logos, cocky attitude... what a kook. I used to surf with this guy a lot at Blacks. He had just returned from a preaching stint of 3 years on the east coast, and he was back into surfing. He was still pretty fast, I'll give him that. But he had a total spaz wide stance jive going. And he would thank Jesus out loud for set waves... even set waves he burned people on.

Now onto another legend. MP, Michael Peterson, a free surfing savant and ruthless competitor. Check out what a mack this guy was -- the gold medallion, the aviator shades, the skin-tight striped shirt... and the porn star stash. He looks like he's about to bitch slap that fat guy in the yellow shirt... And then turn around and bail with the chick with the funky tits and visor.

MP was completely bonkers though. He burned out on drugs, was institutionalized after a police chase, and quit surfing for good. He's fat and shy now. But he still blows doors over PT and Joey Buran, even from his couch.

See epoch-defining rail turn below.

Lewis. That was fucking hilarious. Had me rollin the whole way through.

GOOD PRESS VS. BAD PRESS

Can of worms this. Hey '3to5toomuch' my rift with the OVER THE HILL FAT ASSED surf clowns from Santa Monica runs deep. I schooled them all with "Surf Trip" in 2000-1, back when things had a more original spark and intent. Then in 2003 Laguna came out with the -10 yrs. in the planning -, exhibit called "Surf Culture," funded by Quiksilver - good dough if you can get.
Laguna appropriated my template and copyright. I went through a lot of trouble all around standing up against their coniving - in the end thay had to shell out cash to my people. Amazingly, they used the theme of "the art of it" which was not their original intent if you saw through what was exhibited in Laguna. I was invited to the 2nd opening of "Surf Culture" in Honolulu up at Makiki Heights. The show was nice looking - hard to blow a show in a museum as nice as that one - but it was missing "Aloha Oi," aka hula dolls - they were far too political for Hawaiians and loclals in general and thus did not get shipped. As far as I know all but one remain crated and in cold storage. The one Yater bought is now being used as a point of purchase prop - all cleaned up - repainted and on one of the uppers at the Beach House in S.B. YOU DO THE MATH.
The deal was during all of this I had a major funder in Italy to fund my show. Traveled there and signed a contract to tour the exhibit throughout Europe for 2003-4
My unbelieving artists, a lot of them, decided Italy was probably on crack and could not come up with the hundreds of thousands to begin the tour. Some artists held out for a lot of money WHICH REALLY PISSED ME OFF.
Many I know figured that Milan being the banking capital of Italy that they would surely pay as much as we asked for - which was not the case at all.

Many decided to exhibit with the "sure
bet " Laguna; safe at home. Perfect. Typical.
I was getting paid to produce. At home in Hawaii I began to build my show. I found I had lost just about everyone to "Surf Culture," which on the whole of it was huge flop, as in art world bomb.
The bastards of the Socalsurf mediamachine won out and I lost everything by being unable to deliver the goods at an agreeable price. My beef with Stecyk is that he is a freak. Ancell is a GREAT GUY - don't get me wrogn.

Artists have to be whores - that's JUST THE WAY IT IS.
You have to understand in the art world this is the way things work. I got out because the art scene has become more trog than ever before. "Surf Art" itself is dead - beaten to a bloody pulp by all that pastel shit art you see in popular surfing media and this so called " surf culture" bullshit.

Dora would not approve.

The YERBA is technically a "gallery," as they do not house a premanent collection.
They're broke for all kinds of funding reasons and yes they do need support even if it means eating crow an attending show of oft overexhibited artists and work.

BRING BEER OR PAY A LOT.

CLASSIC!! oh man, that jesus shirt...he said funky tits..thanx for the history lesson..i agree on glen winton..kong was awesome too but my knowlege pales in comparisson..

Funny pics. Agree about the yerba thing. They are cool enough to put this type of exhibit up just suck it up and pay. they need it.
Off topic, check out aquasurfshop.com aquas new site. pretty good new site with some good picks of norcal

you nailed it regarding Donovan Frankenreiter.

I THINK DONOVAN SUCKS.

such a photo slut.
still into that rhetro-throwback look with bell bottoms, dirty beard, hippie shirts, yarn spun reggae hats, etc. that sheite went out in the late '90s. what a joke. come on. why do they still pay this guy??

same as any other pro, into it for the money, but this guy is especially camera horny.
"oh, i look like Doc Renneker but i actually surf OK."
"i'm so into nature and for the environment, but I go through 4 boards a month!!"
ooohhh!!! who cares?

Let me guess, his music sounds like Jack Johnsoon?

dont mean to step on any toes here, just venting.
i cant see how this guy got so "big".

peace out, beansprout.

also, what about Richard Cram? Cheyne Horan? John Parmenter? etc.

chris brown wraparound? robbie page?

interesting bvb...

At least Joey Burran isn't wearing the typical surfer outfit, ie. Billa-silver t-shirt with matching trousers and beenie. Who do you know who wears a Jesus shirt? The fucked up kid in 7th grade with no friends, right?

This guy's way cool in my book. A pipe charger modest enough for the little guy.

cram and robbie "the telephone" page are worthy.
future installments to come, pending lack of work in my department.

Awesome celeb recap Lewis.
Sorry 'bout the project cancellation- especially during this time of year, and between summer swells at that-
Hope to catch you again tonight at the movies perhaps.
Im hearing passes can be found in this months Mens Journal if you got a subscription connection.

-ianb

More on Burran:

The guy won the fricking pipe masters. Although that is all he has done, still Pipe is a macking fucking wave. Ocean beach may have a pain in the ass paddle out, but it very rarely if ever warps, throws, spits and crunches like pipe.

Burran went through some shit like many of us and found JC and that makes him happy now. He's surfed way bigger waves than your New Jersey transplant ass will ever do.

bvb,
surf trip was amazing. i viewed it 3 seperate times with different people, none surfed. excellent, excellent work. Having lived in the 808 Aloha nui's truths disturbed me like good art does. i came to stecyk's presentation toward the end of the run. like many surfing natives his work does resonate with me. needed to understand context to the anger. thanks for sharing.

alternatively, i breezed thru surf culture in minutes it seemed slapped together. content i've seen before from the mags.

lewis, nice work. how about a segment on the bronzed aussies or general chappy jennings next?

that history lesson was classic! certainly post of the day, possibly in the running for post of the year in the 'best use of funky tits in a blog' category.

lots of funny people in the 'action sports industry'. some snowboard mag had a contest awhile back for writing an essay, topic of which was 'when did snowboarding sell out'. i entered for fun, my essay said merely "the day the first person thought that someone 'sold out'" but i guess really it's the first time someone claims someone else sold out and someone else says yeah you're right. point was basically, who cares, let people do what want/need to do and worry about yourself and having fun.

of course, i didn't win, and opinions are like assholes....

God, at the rate I'm drinking coffee these days my goal of having teeth so yellow I get confused for a Brit will be attainable in no time!!

Props to Lewis for making history fun. I hate pro-surfing, but when Lewis writes about it, I shit my pants laughing. It makes me almost want to rent a room from him, but I need the free laundry in my place to wash out my turd-stained shorts.

wow some people get WAY TOO worked up over what is said on the internet

Lester, dude, chill out. JC and the big man upstairs would not approve.

And who are you referring to with the "He's surfed way bigger waves than your New Jersey transplant ass will ever do" comment?

Not that it matters, but I'm norcal born and bred. And again, not that it matters, but I've surfed Mav's at size, and I'm not sure that Mr. Buran has done much in heavy water, past pipe.

My comments on Buran were supposed to, um, like be funny, and stuff.

Don't dis on NJ. You'll end up in concrete.

oops, typed the ultra sensitive words of transplant and new jersey. Not necessarily refering to you lewis, just a little froidian (sp?) slip as I maul real estate prices, job prospects, crowds, hype, traffic etc. around here I guess. Don't take it so hard.

Sorry for dissing the garden state! We're already paved over so no worries.

just re-read lewis' post, and like a fine wine it seems to have gotten better with age.

michael petersen looks like an extra for the movie 'blow' in that pic. classic.

gotta agree with donovan frankfurter being kind of a glam poseur. it's like he's trying too hard.

great stuff lewis -- almost makes me wish i followed the tour.

the Burran stuff has me wondering: if HE was a surfer, what would Jesus ride?

I got Super Sessions and I think there is a part in there on MP, he is a pschyzophrenic so he didnt just "go crazy". Cut the guy some slack. He was great in his day. Still surfs better on that shit board than i ever will.

Super sessions is a great movie with the blakestah fin idea from Bertlemans mouth, maybe a thruster with fins that go from side to side would work????

ps. looking forward to the south swell and the fall!!!!!!

Bobo, I will be rocking my day-glow wetsuit, short-john with pink bottoms. Some zinka on the grill, likely purple or yellow. Haven't decided yet.

Damn, I went in a meeting 2 hours ago, I get a five minute break and this board ERUPTS!~ Can't wait to read 'em!

he'd ride a Burro.... shaped by Paul

and than, the rains stopped, the clouds parted, and a comment for which everyone will agree with was posted...

"ps. looking forward to the south swell and the fall!!!!!!"

PHIL FOR PRESIDENT!!

surf historey day continues...name that surfer

probably easy for some..no cheating

1.

2.

3.

you guys are weak

#1 - kaiser
#2 - definitely bagel in the pink wettie
#3 - e

Haha bagel, everyones out.

Damn,I'm ready for a Friday dp. Hope your call is correct blakestah. Lewis-killer post. Then there was Gary Propper. He was a promoter himself. Now he's a Hollywood promoter. That bushy red-haired guy "Carrot Top" that did the dial 1-800... stuff is under contract with Gary. I never met him but had one of his boards by Hobie, 1971ish-the Gary Propper Eastern Star model. It was a pretty cool board in it's day except the deck was glassed rough for traction like the first resin coat on top of cloth. It was painful without a wetsuit but the wax stuck. Oh yeah and Corky Carroll. I was hitch-hiking on LBI in NJ (yeah Lester-NJ;)with my Hobie surfboard and that dick passed me in a van. He was like one of my surf my heros just before that moment. But I had dinner with Keith Paul that night so I got over it.

aaah yea j wins..

pink is the new black you know

rathaus and all,
Sorry to hear you're getting the third degree from the fam about being a surf bumb. I get it every time I go home.....my Mom brings it up after the airport and before we get home, her husband then asks to go for a walk before I get my bags to my cell in the attic......it's so tiring. I write a lot about surfing, and put a lot of soul in into my writing, and tell my Moms to read it, and she does, but she just doesn't get it.....that's expected, she has a fantastic kind heart but lives in D.C. How do you, or do you have to deal with the parents and their suspicious eye on surfing? Their inability to understand the good life?

California kid:

1973 Began Surfing at the Age of 12
1975 Finalist 14 and under (Boys Div.) U.S. Amateur Championships
1976-1977 #1 Ranked 15-17 (Junior Div.) Two years in a row in California
1977 West Coast Champion, Runner- up U.S. Amateur Championships
15-17 (Junior Div.)
1978 Member U.S. National Amateur Team, Finalist World Amateur Championships
1978 Turned Pro at the age of 17, Defeated World Champion Rabbit Bartholomew man on man in first pro event
1978 Won first pro title in Oceanside, CA at the California Pro
1978 Finalist Pipe Masters
1978 Finished 27th on IPS World Tour Ratings, Voted Most Inspirational Surfer IPS World Tour
1979 Finished 28th on IPS World Tour Ratings
1980 First Californian to win IPS World Tour event (Waimea 5000, Brazil)
1980 Finalist Pipe Masters
1980 Finished 13th on IPS World Tour Ratings
1981 Won the prestigious California Stubbies Pro
1981 Finished 13th on IPS World Tour Ratings
1982 Voted 9th on the Surfer Magazine Surfer Poll
1982 Finished 14th on IPS World Tour Ratings
1983 Hired former world champion Peter Townend as personal coach, Began sponsorship with surfboard shaper and long time friend Mike Baron
1983 Hang Ten Grand Prix Champion
Runner-up OP Pro
1984 Won Katin Pro, Tropics Grand Prix Champion, Won Real Savage Pro
1984 Won Pipe Masters
1984 Voted 8th on the Surfer Magazine Surfer Poll
1984 Finished 7th on ASP World Tour Ratings, Voted Most Improved Surfer ASP World Tour
1985 Semi Retired from ASP World Tour to found and direct PSAA U.S. Pro Tour
1985 Finished 16th ASP World Tour Ratings
1987 Finalist U.S. Pro Championships, Last final of primary pro career, Retired from competition
1998 Won ASP Masters World Championships, Competed in Pipe Masters Trials
1999 Coached Billabong USA Surf Team, competed in Pipe Masters Trials
2000 Coached Billabong USA Surf Team, Competed in Pipe Masters Trials, Final Retirement


Additional Career Records and Info

Total Pro Victories: 12
World Tour Final Ratings Top 16 Finishes: 5
Total Magazine Cover Shots: 7
Major Sponsors Throughout Career:
Billabong, Hang Ten, Offshore Clothing, Body Glove Wetsuits, O’Neill Wetsuits, MB Surf Designs, Byrne Surfboards, Town & Country Surfboards, Midget Smith Surfboards, Surf Ride Board Shops
World Tour Records:
First Californian to win a World Tour event (1980)
First Californian to finish in World Tour Top 20 (1980)
First Californian (7th), along with Tom Curren (8th) to finish in World Tour Top 10 (1984)
Participant in first all Californian World Tour final along with Tom Curren (1983 OP Pro)
Youngest finalist in history of Pipe Masters (age 17, 1978)

It also appears he invented an innovative kneeboard-doggystyle technique that he applied on the north shore.

Looks kewler than donovan too

this guy brought us the snowboard "buk-buk" style so prevelant today at breaks like linda mar:

Lester's in luv.

OMG me too! I walk into my Grandpa's house and he just sits there and says nothing like I just joined Al Quida or something! They see all these shows like Baywatch or North Shore and think it's all about volleyball and sun out here. My dad is a corporate lawyer type racking in $500 grand a year but has no life outside of work and golf. My mom just watches TV all day and hits the bottle at night. It was expected that I go to a top school and get some type of corporate job, but no way. That's not me dude.

The Golden State is glorious like that....

i am coming....

SUPER TIMOR!! I am Ja'ck Kaliboo-Koo-Day!!!! Deh' lead singer of deh' SUPER TIMOR Band! In this summer I teach deh' hot passionate ladies how to surf at all spots most popular and hidden as well! I look forward to drop in on you all with deh' board of ivory, expensive wood and leopard skin (for deh' passionate ladies of course!). You must know to give me all set wave, or I will spray deh' SUPER TIMOR in your eyes most powerful.

Salut!
Ja'ck

P.S.

Visit the page which I have made for deh' musical video that you can see and hear with you own two eyes! SUPER TIMOR!!!

Pleeze God a swell and no wind.

Day from hell and I couldn't check the blog until this morning. You guys have lost it. But it's kinda' like driving by a train wreck. . . you can't help but look!

:-)

DP with Klooless near Caltrans latest attempt to stabalize San Mateo County's eroding costal bluffs. I showed up a half-hour after sunrise, and he had already been there since daybreak. Local wind waves has faces on the order of 2 feet, with occasional sets that were the coming attractions of the south swell at maybe 4 foot faces. With 2 years of experience and 3 functioning ankles between us, we ruled the shorebreak until 2 other surfers (also kooks) showed up.

OB, Linda Mar, and Rockaway all looked flatter than an anorexic Olsen twin's ass (jokes about riding it with a big stick purposefully omitted). But the south swell let it be known that it is on the way.

Ronnie Burns. Greatest fucking tuberider EVER.
R.I.P.

ronnie burns! i was trying to think of that dude yesterday but couldnt remember his name all i could remember is that he died in a motorcycle accident..hopefully lewis's project is still canceled..JK lewis..

anyway the answers above are

1.shaun tomson

2.kim mearig

3.dino andino

im straight up 80's with a good amount of ignorance and brain damage from years of thc inhalation..

Bagel do you remember the surfing magazine expo "Full Moon Over Java"? That was the world unveiling of G-Land's epic waves with Ronnie Burns deep in the pit on the cover spread wearing Zinka. That was is and will always be THE shite.

i kinda remeber that but i remember when g land was first getting all the coverage and everyone was scared of being eaten by tigers..i think that was from one of the chris bystrom movies though..how about nicky wood he was awesome i remember and that skinny short blond grom surfing durambah jason buttonshaw or something..aaa yes

D-Bah, & Nicky frikken Wood? Shhhhhheeeettt. Bagel dropppin knowledge. What about Doug Tool and Dick Hammerhead dominating the Peak at the HMB jetty on those macking south days in mid 1987?

shadow were you a local at the jetty in '87?

shadow were you a local at the jetty in '87?

i personally know joey buran and i do not agree with the message above. being a christian myself i dont find it right for you to judge him. it might not be your thing, but it is others. joey is an awesome guy and has changed my life dramatically. maybe if you took the time to listen to what he has to say, you'd feel better about him. how can you say hes an awesome guy when hes doing pot and going after women all the time. thats not right! being with Christ surely doesnt make you a donkey, but sets you right in your life. give God a shot. you just might like it!

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