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this is getting ridiculous

was it this bad last summer?
After driving around this morning and getting thoroughly skunked... again... i contemplated a personal change in perspective for the nor-cal off-season. This is something that many seasoned bay area surfers have known and internalized for years but i guess that i'm just beginning to realize the ugly reality of the matter. Either travel to areas exposed to southern-hemisphere swells, or shift mental focus to another sport/hobby/passion/discipline until the waves/winds come back around. This is a time for morning musical explorations, for refining your yo-yo skillz, for snuggling up with your honey for some pre-work smooches, or for some morning mountain-bike riding followed by long, centering yoga sessions. I still have the "must surf everyday, must find waves, have to surf, can't relax until i find waves, must find waves, argh!!" philosophy flowing through my consciousness and now i'm not so sure it's the healthiest way to go. ya think?!

I feel like we had more surfable days last summer than we've had this off-season. more south winds.

But.. enough with the griping. I'm sure many of you out there in niceness-land sniffed out secret pockets of sheltered, glassy nirvana this morning and are quietly chuckling at my whining diatribe.

The winds were snarling onshore even at 6:11 am.

good luck out there..

I'm currently reading "The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity" by Daniel Reid. In it he translates the expression "Tai Chi" to mean "the Supreme Ultimate Source." Sooo.. that sounds like something worthy of attention. If you're curious about ancient eastern views on nutrition, breathing, excercise, philosophy, love-making, etc. you should peruse this book. The chapter on "Ejaculation Control" is also very enlightening. Check this classic 2500 yr. old quote from Su-Nu Ching,

"For a man to nurture his male powers, he must nourish his Yang essence by absorbing Yin essence. When men and women indulge freely in sex, exchanging their bodily fluids and breathing eath other's breath, it is like fire and water meeting in such perfect poroportions that neither one defeats the other. Man and woman should ebb and flow in intercourse like the waves and currents of the sea, first one way, then another, but always in harmony with the Great Tide. In this manner, they may continue all night long, constantly nourishing and preserving their precious vital essence, curing all ailments, and promoting long life. Without this basic harmony of Yin and Yang, neither medicines refined from the five minerals, nor the most potent aphrodisiacs, will be of any use. If the vital essences are dried up due to excessive emission or complete neglect, they can never be revived."

soo.. for all us performing fasts or abbreviated fasts.. one item that maybe us guys should also cut out is ejaculation!

think about it.

the Taoist Way recommends maybe 1 ejaculation a week for men in their late-twenties or early thirties.. hmmm...

for the women it recommends as many orgasms as possible due to the fact that women retain their "vital essence" while men excrete it in what the french call, "petit morte"... "little death."

hmmmm...

Tim Curren at Linda Mar yesterday

Cory Lopez at Linda Mar on June 3, 2003.. Lindy.. so consistent!

classic post, e! sorry to rub it in, but slam dieggo was firing on all six cylinders (triangles? squares?) this mornin. no wind, big jellies though. stoked!!!

she was watching from shore

Posted by: gvibe at June 3, 2004 10:49 AM

Damn it e!

I knew I should have driven to Lindy this morning.

Posted by: d looose at June 3, 2004 11:09 AM

Thats funny that the book does not mention the "mental distraction" techniques. For example, in the throes of passion, self percieved Casanova moments, when longevity becomes a ego driven, paramount priority, I fall back to internally recalling every position player on the 1978 Yankees or 1994 Knicks.
On the outside, its "ohh baby, oh yeah, right theeerrreee" on the inside its "Wille randolph at 2nd, Chris Chambliss at 1st, mickey rivers in center etc..
I'm telling you, I *#%)@# like a champ with this technique- I think :)

How's the diet going, E?

Posted by: steama at June 3, 2004 11:16 AM

damn, I'm ditching work and hitting up Lindy.

Posted by: barney at June 3, 2004 11:24 AM

Heh heh... Great technique, steama. The '84 Detroit Tigers have never let me down.

In lieu of surf, the mountain bike ride down to a round of disc golf in GG Park has been keeping the stoke-o-meter high for me lately.

Posted by: mwsf at June 3, 2004 11:30 AM

Wifey thinks that my shoulder/back stuff might be due to my new board. It doesn't paddle anywhere as well as my old ones, but when you're making the drop it's the bomb. Check it out.

Ha ha.
www.roberthowardsculptor.org/recentwork.html

Barney -- pass my regards on to Meadows..........

Posted by: limevoodoo at June 3, 2004 11:32 AM

E you are on to something here! Do yourself a favor pick up the old skateboard, head to one of our fabulous skateparks nearby (ie: Sunnyvale, Berkeley, Navato), skate your ass off and then go home, rub one out and take a nap. This therapuetic series of activities are bound to chase your surfing blues away!!!

Posted by: DAK at June 3, 2004 11:32 AM

With the spring winds this year, I started up paddling with a local Outrigger crew. It's helped me a ton in beating the crap-surf-blues. Learning new skills always reminds me of how much in life there is to learn.

Posted by: d looose at June 3, 2004 11:36 AM

E-

Your perspective on the current lack of surf around these parts is no doubt skewed by your recent Centro trip where you scored on the atomic scale.

I recommend you adopt a toddler to keep your early mornings busy.

And I guess chinese women don't ejaculate the way some western women do, or at least they are better at hiding it.

Posted by: Friend #1 at June 3, 2004 11:37 AM

you can take my coffee but you cant take away my EJACULATION!

Posted by: bagel at June 3, 2004 11:41 AM

early awakening....long driving...no scoring. : (

then...i got into werk (waaaay too early) and someone had the nerve to bring in Krispy Creams! i tried to resist (just like i tried to resist the beer last night with the burrito...and the two cups o' jo this morning) but it was to no avail! so much for the "cleanse". maybe i'll start...tomorrow.

...maybe. ; )

Posted by: ck at June 3, 2004 11:42 AM

Steama thinks about baseball? I focus on catching tennis balls, chasing cats or barking at birds. Always works for me, you humans should try it!

Posted by: Rocky at June 3, 2004 11:44 AM

I did surf Lindy this morning, 7:30-9:00, mid-beach; there were only two other surfers during that time, both nearer the south end. Many drove up, took a gander, and drove on.

First step: lock self out of car. Fortunately, the trash cans there are FULL of coat hangers (charred---used for roasting marshmallows?)! I was back in business just a few minutes later, a sobering reminder of why I shouldn't leave valuables in the car.

It was stacked-up 3-4 footers, seemingly always pretty darned relentless on the way out. But there was some shape; not all close-outs. So I got a few fun rides, paid for by a lot of paddling. I still can't come up with a good way to get my board (8' egg) out through every-8-second waves, even if they're not all that big. If I stay on the board, I get pushed back; if not, it takes time to get back on; either way, progress out is difficult. Maybe it would be better with a shortboard, but then I'd be griping about not catching any waves. Preferred solution: LONGER DAMNED PERIODS PLEASE.

Posted by: Klooless Kook at June 3, 2004 11:47 AM

Just order new surfboards. The jones for the new board will overcome the jones for waves. Your old board will seem tired and dead in the tired and dead surf. Stoked on the new pending ride, you won't want to surf until the new stick arrives. AND during the wait for the new board since your sacraficing (building upon your food and intoxicant fast) there will be an enivetable swell and corresponding epic conditions as the gods reward your devotion to the WAY. Your already good karma swells as your selfless devotion allows others enjoy the fruit of your sacrafice. The path to enlightment is only $400 away...........Get on it son! PEACE!

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at June 3, 2004 11:55 AM

Nice book, I won't disagree. ahhh hahaaaa

OB Well it's not hopeless! ..Foggy, solid onshores, crunchy munchy mixed-up waist-shoulders, but one or two people out there paddling inside and earlier one guy ripping around the seemingly impossible. Vaguely doable for you charlie brown surfers, certainly nothing to lose your job over.

e- I think your only problem is you're TOO GOOD at surfing. When you have as much to figure out as I do, any freaking kind of conditions are fun and fine enough!

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at June 3, 2004 11:55 AM

the taoist way recommends one ejaculation a week???? Damn, what does the koran say? May be if we all just ejaculated more...we'd stop killing each other. Thoughts...comments...discuss.

Posted by: jdz at June 3, 2004 11:55 AM

Meadows works here?

I think he is on the perennial "work from home" gig like most people here. This place is the ideal model for corporate inefficiency.

Posted by: barney at June 3, 2004 11:56 AM

kk - good on ya for finding some.

Steama, mwsf and rocky all sound like they have "ejaculation control" under.. ahem.. control.. here is what the Taoist physician Lee Tung-hsuan has to say in "Mysterious Master of the Cave:

When a man feels on the verge of ejaculation, he should always restrain himself, at least until the woman has reached orgasm. He should draw the Jade Stem out shallowly and play it between the Lute Strings [frenulum of clitoris] and Wheat Buds [labia minor]... He should close his eyes, concentrate his mind, press his tongue against the roof of his mouth, arch his spine, and stretch out his neck. He should then open up his nostrils wide, close his mouth, and take in a very deep breath. If he does this in time, he will not ejaculate. Instead, the semen will return and ascend naturally by itself. In this manner, a man may completely regulate his ejaculations.

many other ancient Taoist masters suggest the "anal lock" sphincter tightening technique for controlling ejaculation.. beavis and butthead have to be out there snickering right now.

Posted by: e at June 3, 2004 11:57 AM

steama - that is friggin hilarious man!!!

e - please don't quit searchin' for waves in the summer. i really have no desire to read daily posts on your yo-yo sessions.

Posted by: j at June 3, 2004 12:02 PM

Some solid posts today! Kept my spirits up after returning from 80 degree water and boardshorts.

I too tried my luck this morning but after getting up at 5:15, I was back in bed by 6:05 for another hour+ of sleep.

All in all, Hawaii was a good time. Hangin w/ CK and his lady made the trip. I am sorry to report that the anticipated south swell was over-hyped. I am sure today it is going off over there but yesterday is was really sporadic. Still, it was nice to sit in boardies and warm water.

Posted by: Kaiser at June 3, 2004 12:19 PM

Kaiser, welcome home. Now. . .

Where are the pictures?
Where are the pictures?
Where are the pictures?

Preferably of CK's pretty (and very nice) friend. Long shots of your ugly male mugs surfing would be OK too!

Posted by: Bruce at June 3, 2004 12:27 PM

i used to rock climb really seriously, and to delay that "critical moment" i still think back to hard routes that took many attempts to climb, and "mind climb" them again, going over every move in my head. works like a charm. thinking about getting barreled, on the other hand, tends to be no help AT ALL. correlation?

Posted by: luke at June 3, 2004 12:35 PM

Just to set the record straight, e's last comment wasn't part of the "Mysterious Master of the Caveman."

I may try windsurfing again - tis the season.

How was tortoise?!?

Posted by: caveman at June 3, 2004 12:37 PM

Where is the love for Graig Nettles, Reggie, and Thurman Munson?

Swell angle was bad for Hawaii - mainland Mex and SoCal get the goods.

Estimation of surf quality can be seriously warped from road trips. I generally find I can get wet twice a week in summer, in all but the worst weeks. It was surfable all weekend, and Tuesday also.

The wind tunnel will really get cranking by Sunday though...

90 days till September.

Posted by: blakestah at June 3, 2004 12:38 PM

This won't help anybody, but what a read
[ warning: sharky ]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2004/05/31/BAG596UH8C1.DTL

Posted by: s.s.sharkbait at June 3, 2004 12:40 PM

.....Trammell at short, Whitaker at 2nd, Jack Morris on the mound.... didn't he pitch like 50 innings in the series that year?
...........gibson in right,

Posted by: steama at June 3, 2004 12:41 PM

Actually Blakestah, if I make it that long, I nail 'em all (so to speak) including Sweet Lou, Jerry Narron, Sparky Lyle and Thur-MAN. The day we lost him was the 1st I saw my Pops shed a tear.
Good posts today.
Now, where are those HI pixxxxxxxxxx???

Posted by: steama at June 3, 2004 12:45 PM

what about Ron Guidry?

Wasn't he like 25-3?

Didn't Randolph get hurt in the '78 Series with Brian Doyle coming off the bench and playing great?

And no mention of Pinella?

Or BUCKY DENT who forved the 1 st ever 1 game playoff for a pennant?

Posted by: tom at June 3, 2004 12:48 PM

oops....somebody already remembered Lou.

Posted by: tom at June 3, 2004 12:51 PM

What, no Catfish and Goose?

Posted by: blakestah at June 3, 2004 01:01 PM

Tom- youaredaman. Doyle played very well.
BuckyfuckingDent is a giant amongst men :)
Don't want to date myself, but I was 6 at the time....
All you Sox fans can eat it. better yet, pick up E's current read, cause all y'all blow your loads every April when you are up 2 games.
I'm selling AaronfuckingBoone autographs for a reasonable bid.
Recently, ESPN researched and awarded the best fastball of all time to the Goose who was consistently over 100mph that season-sans BALCO.

I would prefer to talk Waveage but.... well y'all know where that stands- Thanks S.S.!

Posted by: steama at June 3, 2004 01:01 PM

Awesome. It only took 37 minutes of company time to figure out how to post this...anyway, this is what SoCal was seeing while e was driving this morning. Please try to "control" yourselves

Posted by: Hrothbart at June 3, 2004 01:38 PM

arggh!! so cal!!

bawa

santa cruz seth posted a collage of about 8 billion cool surf pics on the surfermag bb.. check it..

Posted by: e at June 3, 2004 01:47 PM

oh damn! forgot to arch my back and take a deep breath and i dont know shit about baseball..

is that san alejo campgrounds?

Posted by: bagel at June 3, 2004 01:48 PM

maybe this has been mentioned before but check out the OLN network

outdoor living network

they have surfing on quite often if you get that network on cable. go to there website for exact date and times

WOOOHOOOO

Posted by: phil at June 3, 2004 01:50 PM

Bruce, all I got was some super 8mm footage of some scenes. No photos. Besides, I am hardly photogenic unless I am pulling my superman shit on DOH OB. It is really entertaining thru a long lens.

All you east coast transplants need to come correct:
Will The Thrill - 1st
Robby Thompson - 2-bagger
Jose Uribe - Short
Matty Williams - 3rd
Candy Maldanado/Jeffrey Leonard - Right
Brett Bulter - Center
Kevin Mitchell - Left
Curt Manweiring - Catcher

On the mound
Don Robinson - The caveman

Posted by: Kaiser at June 3, 2004 01:58 PM

ahhh....Kaiser speaks the truth. i hauled my camera and lens along with us to HI and ended up taking 2 pix the entire time!!...and they aren't even surf pix! only the obligatory (1) here's me and my lady-charger with the break as a beautiful backdrop, and (2) here's Kaiser with the same.

i find it impossible to take surf pics. you can't take them before the sesh because it's either dark or you're so frickin' jonesin' that you can't possibly spend even a second taking pics. you can't take them during the sesh because...well...it's during the sesh. you can't take them after the sesh, because you're so frickin' hungry after 3 hrs in the water that all you can think about is the stack of banana pancakes you're about to inhale. what's a surf traveller without a personal photog to do?

Bruce and Mexi...how do you do it?

Posted by: ck at June 3, 2004 02:11 PM

You can
1) leave the cam in the car a lot. Sometimes, whip it out after the session
2) when surf is good but you only have 30 minutes, shoot instead
3) take a water camera with a rope into the water with you - take water shots between waves

Also, when you get older, 3 hr sessions become a little more rare.

I'm pretty sure I went to about 3 games in 1978 in Yankee Stadium.

Kaiser, here is what you missed last Saturday
http://www.blakestah.com/surf/obmem2004.mov

Posted by: blakestah at June 3, 2004 02:26 PM


if i had this once a day a week hold off would be a breeze.

Posted by: lerm at June 3, 2004 02:29 PM

My perfect day of surf & photography?

Sleeping soundly in the little shack in SC.
Cell phone rings and best pal Rich is on way.
Fill the hot water bottle, load the board.
Drive though Jack-in-Box for a greasy muffin.
Prep body with diet coke and cigarette (surf speedball).
Surf for two hours. Three hours if paramedics stand by.
Shoot pictures for two hours.
Return to shack, dump pics to laptop.
Delete 95% that look crappy- post remainder.
Take nap.
Barbeque and drink beer.
Float in spa while throwing Rocky's ball.
(He likes throwing it in the tub.)
Sleep soundly.
Repeat, and return to SF when winds die.

But, I'm not coming out of my hole until I can go surfing again. (OK, I promise. No more animal shots.)

Posted by: Bruce at June 3, 2004 02:47 PM

B-Stah: Vid looked good, but what up with the steamer? E got some plug I see. Good to see the Brazo's out there as well. I love the digger after E's wave. Looked like Bug actually. Was that guy on a Arakawa?

As much as I would love to see those conditions right now, I can say I would have prefered that over the warm water in Hawaii! $225 and a backpack was all it took!

Beauty....

Posted by: Kaiser at June 3, 2004 02:50 PM

Wasn't Roy White on that '78 Yankee team also? & Don Gullet & Dick Tidrow?

Posted by: loon at June 3, 2004 03:10 PM

Ha! I had that book many, many, many moons ago. I concluded that the power of recovery was much more valuable than that of self-control.

You'll have plenty of years of being an old Taoist. Enjoy your youth while you can.

Posted by: R3W at June 3, 2004 03:17 PM


That is the best advice, possibly ever posted on this site. besides jetty tips and BVB staythefuckoutta my way stuff, that is.

Thanks R3W. Heading home for 420 in honor of your sagacity

Loon- 100% accurate

Blakestah- 3 times in '78? as I have said before---- youaredaman- Can't remember if I attended that year.
Now graduate to Deity Status and rid us of the no wave plague!

Posted by: steama at June 3, 2004 03:36 PM

Dimaggio, Ruth, Mantle, Maris, Gehrig.......even Wally Pipp!

Or do we need Winfield and Mattingly and Billy Martin and Yogi.......

Or Jeter and Williams. Righetti, Hudson.

How about Clemens? or A Rod?

And when did the Giants move to Redding?


Posted by: tom at June 3, 2004 03:46 PM

Didn't your beloved Giants move from NY.....like me?

The SF tranny giants....

Posted by: tom at June 3, 2004 03:48 PM

Whoa Tom, you calling out Redding? Watch yourself.... Keep in mind that all the herb you smoke is most likely grown by someone in my extended family or "processed" by a neighbor in either Eureka, Arcata, McKinleyville or Redding. I know people!

I know what surf breaks you stalk! Speaking of which, were you driving a blue beater truck this a.m.?

Posted by: LanceEA at June 3, 2004 03:58 PM

R3W - great advice! i'm getting shitty drunk tonight in your honor!!


Posted by: j at June 3, 2004 04:01 PM

Bando, Campaneros, Rudi, Reggie, Catfish, Odom, Fingers. wait fingers....ahhhh ahhhhh shit not fingers.....aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at June 3, 2004 04:02 PM

That last one was me...

Posted by: Kaiser at June 3, 2004 04:05 PM

yeah.. my ganja fast is ending tonight thanks to R3W..

BRING IT!

Posted by: e at June 3, 2004 04:06 PM

ah crap i really hate to say it bt santa cruz was freaking firing this morning! i surfed a certain in-town reef with only 3-5 guys out, carving and pulling in (but i never came out). Marcel Soros was owning the right and getting barrelled on almost every set for a while (anybody know him? i just know who he is, don't know him personally). the south was hitting HARD (head to head and a half sets, easy, and the wind was light offshore for the early morning hours. i hate to hype this swell up even more but if you OB heads want some south action, you know where to head.

Posted by: bobby at June 3, 2004 04:11 PM

gophers are the enemy

e wasn't in the video

Posted by: blakestah at June 3, 2004 04:17 PM

bobby- you're killing me as I sit it my desk- especially since I took LAST Friday off to surf butt slappers in SC.

Blakestah- Rocky agrees that gophers are the enemy. Gawd I love that movie.

Posted by: Bruce at June 3, 2004 04:39 PM


Where did his head go.....

Posted by: Kaiser at June 3, 2004 04:49 PM

i don't know where his head is.. but.. fuck.. that wave is soo sick! look at that wall ahead of him. look at that fucking lip!

Posted by: e at June 3, 2004 04:55 PM

crazy pic

Posted by: e at June 3, 2004 05:26 PM

CK, you asked..How do I do it? I love photography, its in my blood, just as much as surfing............almost. I started with the foto thing 5 years ago when I blew out my knee. I couldn't surf for a long time so I started taking pics.

Posted by: mexisurf at June 3, 2004 08:14 PM

'Twasn't me.

I was hunting surf at around 7 though. Just in a black truck.

I can confirm though (2nd hand) that SC Town was cooking today.

However, it was later in the day as the swell filled in.

This just according to one of my many spotters. I personally didn't make it all the way to town.....so I got a little bump and not quite head and a half.

But then again....I'm 5 foot 11.

Posted by: tom at June 3, 2004 08:27 PM

There was a time, a long time ago, when I read a blog in SF. The author was stylistic, and would amazingly go out in the smallest crud, and visualize himself at some magical reef, make the most of the few decent rides he'd get, and soak in the stoke all day.

I envied that blog writer, for his ability to commune with neptune under such sparse conditions, and have fun doing it. his writings led me to motivate more strongly for such days, and I was better for it.

He may be lost now. But I suspect he can be found. Off to eat more Ding-Dongs and have another Coke.

Posted by: blakestah at June 3, 2004 08:53 PM

how many times a day does the average niceness reader check this thing? i may have a problem, i suspect shared with a few

right on e

please surf tomorrow tho so i can read about it at work

Posted by: eric at June 4, 2004 12:51 AM

great post, e. my guess is that the old Tao guys didnt have dvd players, mtv and selma hayak to worry about. and loon gets it right: you'll have plenty of time to be restrained when you get over 40. or 50.

and, ah, no women posted today... (at least I dont think so). perhaps they are just having a good laugh as the boys rediscover the obvious (again) - hold it until I NEED IT please... :-)

Posted by: Joe at June 4, 2004 07:16 AM

oh yeah - surf pics. try getting a Minolta DimageX with a water housing - you can get a 3MPix version and the water housing fits in a fanny pack. take a wave. sit in the channel (yes, this gets harder at Ocean Beach). wait for your bros to get a wave. take pics (it has a 15 or 20 frame continuous mode). takes a bit of getting used to, but works. you do need the right fanny pack - I've had the thing blown off me by a decent sized wipe-out and ended up thrashing around in the impact zone trying to find my camera...

I'd post an example, but it's sunny and nice and it's time to get out into the world for a bit...

Posted by: Joe at June 4, 2004 07:21 AM

eric-Count me in on the e-blog addiction thing. The more stressful work gets and the less I get to surf, the more I find myself seeing what the gang has posted. Rippers and beginners, young and old, boys and girls. . . all niceness peeps.

Just a little island of sanity and civility.

Posted by: Bruce at June 4, 2004 07:40 AM

In your free time, visit the sites dedicated to- Tons of interesdting stuff!!!

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