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a tad larger.. clean.. good!

Woke up to a dark, brooding, mischievous morning. Lerm called at 6:20, a bit exasperated that 50 surf vehicles had pulled into the Sloat lot in the last 4 minutes. We convened at a more low-key spot somewhere in the middle and paddled out. The SF buoy is up a bit from yesterday and conditions reflected it. We struggled through about 4 or 5 rows of frigid whitewater before reaching the lineup.. Waves broke on the outer bar consistently and forcefully. You couldn't really tell from the beach but once out there the peaks rolled in beautifully. The biggest waves a notch over head-high. Lots of peeling sections with makeable micro-barrels on the takeoff. Most waves would peter out after breaking on the outer bar but occasionally you could find a bowl that would lurch and then peel steeply for a while, hooking you with a long, substantial face. I enjoyed one long moment in the green room.. though I wasn't standing on my board.. i took off on a somewhat fierce left.. pig-dogged for an instant and tried to hold on as the lip pitched and threw over-top of me.. then the bottom really dropped out and i had no choice but to leap off my board.. as i soared through the air.. i gazed around in awe at the cylindrical liquid chamber surrounding me!! Yeeeahh!!! then BLLLAAAMMM!! as i got obliterated.. fun though! Yeah.. soo.. there were loads of high-quality, down-the-line rides on offer out there.. with but a few souls speckled about.. It's a good, solid day to get wet.. before the craziness begins.. this afternoon?? The outer buoys are starting to show signs.. California is at 16ft 10.. Papa is at 21ft 11sec. According to Blakestah Saturday will be the macker.. look out.. know your limits.

Soo.. yesterday i continued telling y'all about my strange experiences on Tuesday morning. If you'll remember.. a giant stingray swallowed me in its mouth and took me to some mysterious, enchanted place called the Valley Beyond Time. I communicated telepathically with a pod of giant dolphins who told me that Emperor Necro would speak to me shortly and that i should, in the mean time, enjoy myself surfing the stellar point-break.

Well.. after enjoying an extendo, magical, unreal session at the reeling reefy point that wrapped around the bay.. i began to paddle back toward the beach. The reef shimmered and sparkled with a plethera of vibrant, luminescent hues. Hundreds of striped, fluorescent fish scattered and swam all over the place. I began to stare into this huge patch of brain coral. Something about its cerebral-like pattern held my attention. As i looked deeper and deeper into it's convaluted undulations i began to discern some subtle movement. I refocused my eyes and sure enough watched as the orange brain coral morphed and re-coalesced itself into the form of a face. The face of the brain coral smiled at me! Then winked! Then began speaking.. I saw the lips move but couldn't hear anything until bubbles broke on the surface of the water, and with each bubble a new word let loose into my sonic reach. "Hello... my... friend. Welcome. My name is Necro. We have been anticipating your arrival for longer than you know. For eons we here in the Valley Beyond Time have enjoyed a peaceful, harmonious, unbroken existence since the dawning of the universe itself. The boundless mysteries of nature, thought and creation have stimulated our spirits and engaged our abilities for as long as we can remember. However, one aspect of our world that continually baffles us is the hubris of mankind. Over the last 2 centuries we've been receiving an increasing amount of distressing messages from our oceanic brothers and sisters throughout the earth. We know that you can't answer for the actions of your species, that's not why we brought you hear. You see.. We need to really get inside the human psyche in order to help rectify the harm meted out by the human hand." Tentatively.. i said, "uuhh.. ok." "Thank you, " returned Necro. "We will be communicating with you shortly.. Continue to enjoy the island and all its bountiful treasure.

Soo.. i continued paddling in toward the island. A bit perplexed, baffled and concerned about the conversation that had just transpired. I reached the beach and began to walk up toward the shack. I noticed a plate of fresh fruit and bread on the table.. Huh! cool... i guess... i started eating.. then laid down on a makeshift hammock built of grasses and reeds that hung between two palms.. After dozing off for a spell i awoke and stood up.. i looked down the beach and saw what looked like another human walking up toward me! GUH!!! i looked closer and saw that this human was in fact a voluptuous, dark-skinned, radiant bikini-clad vixen sauntering directly toward me! In a few moments she reached to where i stood and stood directly in front of me. Looking strait into my eyes with her own exotic green eyes. Her hair was dark and thick, pulled back behind her. Her whole body was wet from a recent swim.. She was incredible.. i mean.. just absolutely knock-down gorgeous and sexy and mysterious and... and... something else about her was maybe slighly askew?.. huh.. i wasn't sure.. but.. before i could process that last critical thought.. she reached out for me. grabbed me behind my neck.. pulled me close.. and began kissing me passionately on the mouth. She pulled my body close and i instinctively began caressing her own immaculate skin and body. Soon we were back near the shack.. lying on a few soft, woven, mats made of some natural fiber, in a little clearing near a stream.. We continued to kiss and soon were naked.. She pulled me on top of her and began to wrythe and groan.. She was amazing.. ravishingly beautiful... but.. there was still something.. something fidgety or slightly tweaked about her countenance.. like when you're watching a dvd and you notice a slight pixilation in the picture.. Anyway.. we were now officially, "knocking boots".. it felt great.. wild.. reckless.. triumphant. We both seemed to approach climax at the same time.. Then exploded together. Instantaneously this dark, luscious, divine sexy goddess of a women dissolved into a million, multi-colored, individual little insects.. The insects scattered and ran in all directions all around me but i noticed that many of them formed what looked like a little container near where the woman's groin had been! Other of the millions of insects reformed into the exact replica of a soft, fuzzy koala bear. The koala bear looked at me and again i heard a telepathic voice in my head. "Hello Ethan, This is Necro. Thank you for that sample of your genetic code."

(to be continued)

pics from the sunset ASP contest

For those of you who care. The water quality at Sloat is not so clean today. High bacteria count.


Posted by: Mike V. at December 4, 2003 11:02 AM

Is that why the lot's been closed the past couple days or are they doing work?

Posted by: mwsf at December 4, 2003 11:19 AM

thanks Mike V.. it's weird that the same site gives a green light to VFers. hmmm...

sucks thinking that you're swimming in other people's shit..

Posted by: e at December 4, 2003 11:21 AM

I'd recommend calling the hotline.

A high bacteria count is always a day or two late, and often the water is clear by the time the posting goes up. Yes, the system is hugely imperfect that way. No, I am not recommending people go out when it is posted, but just because it is posted doesn't mean the water quality is still bad, and just because it is not posted doesn't make it clean.

Last year the water quality had problems from Sloat through the middle much more than at the north end, this probably relates to run-off issues or currents.

Posted by: blakestahj at December 4, 2003 11:32 AM

OB: Shoulder/head highs and so glassy in spots that the fog and sea look like they've blended into the same element. Looks very speedy...peeps sprinting to catch and lots of misses, also seen an extra amount of BRUISING wipeouts this morning, especially on take-offs...finding just the right take off place appears to be deceptively difficult. Not fancy rides...but quick drops, speed, and ...crap , wave size and shape keep changing, this is impossible to pin down. Waves get bigger, waves smaller, bigger, smaller...yarg. Maybe 2-3 times per hour an OH set lumbers in and kinda close out, just to keep things interesting ;) Alas also seeing some BAD snaking. By celestial decree, all deliberate drop-ins are punishable by 10 years forced celibacy. Now won't *that* solve the problem!

Currently cloudy with rain inevitable because I'm about to step outside! Happy surfing...

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at December 4, 2003 11:34 AM

Posted by: bbr at December 4, 2003 11:37 AM

didn't pick the best location this morning, wound up on the slightly-outer bars because of high tide, inside area was mushy where i went out. but some bigger sets were rolling thru, nice to feel the juice. had one pigdog/coverup that made my morning. get on it midday riders!

here's another resource for water quality info, (via rashguard.org):

Posted by: loon at December 4, 2003 11:58 AM

tyrez posted this on surfermag.. DAMNN!!

Posted by: e at December 4, 2003 12:43 PM

Posted by: e at December 4, 2003 12:43 PM

damn!...is right! wow!...what a wave!..and talk about a killah backdrop!

sounds like some fun out there this a.m. i missed it (tweaked my back yesterday...shiet!) but maybe my muscles will chill and i can squeak in a little dp manana before the mackers scare me to my fuzzy blankets.

speaking of fuzzy blankets...or "natural fiber" blankets...sic tale, e. i'm lovin' it! can't wait to see where it goes next!

Posted by: ck at December 4, 2003 12:54 PM

thanks ck.. sucks you're back hurts.. maybe some light stretching accompanied by chill dub music tonight.. light some candles.. listen to your back.. strech that shit out..

Posted by: e at December 4, 2003 01:00 PM

ss sharkbait-

perfect depiction of OB around noon.

lots of shifting barrels then mush no shoulder and rain. Pelicans traveling south along with me and the severe rip.

Posted by: phil young at December 4, 2003 02:08 PM

Felt like I was in mud this morning. Wave here, wave there, me in the middle! Wave deep, wave inside, me in the middle! All the other 1000 or so parameters were in-line but maybe the tide was bad, I don't know.

Kinda fun, kinda dumb.

Posted by: Kaiser at December 4, 2003 02:14 PM

My Fast has Ended.

Lunchtime surf at home was just what my head cold needed. Or maybe I am just high on Sudafed.

Took about 20 minutes to get my legs back after a week off, with many a missed wave in that period. Then I got the feel and almost couldn't leave it was that fun. 12 to 1:30.

So my session ended up being Kinda dumb then Kinda Fun.

Seemed like the new swell was starting to hit as there were a tempting huge left set to the south that would only break every 20 minutes or so.

Posted by: Friend #1 at December 4, 2003 02:30 PM

I went out last night at the zoo just as it was getting dark and the fog was rolling in. The waves were small but still had some fun rides. It was completely dark when I got back to the beach. Very strange feeling with the dark and heavy fog. I actually got my leash tangled on the pilings (visible at low tides) as I was wading out. I first noticed them cuz I bumped into one. Then I was able to see it. Watch out if you paddle out or in at Sloat to avoid those things. Some are like spears!

Posted by: Dennis at December 4, 2003 02:37 PM

Anybody see this?


Lame lawsuit, good outcome. Too much fun trying to find your favorite secret spot in the photos...

Posted by: mwsf at December 4, 2003 02:42 PM

Seems kinda warbly (warped&wobbly) out there - like it's almost good, but can't quite get there.
On the whole water quality deal: While our street runoff in SF is treated, as it's been said here before (by blakestah I believe), the system is less than perfect. Also, my whole sinus system - and especially my ears - are shot from too many decades of exposure to cold water. Even with earplugs firmly inserted (which I have worn RELIGIOUSLY for the last several years), if the water is funky, I end up with a sore throat and often a serious localized sinus/ear infection. If you're in doubt about the water quality stay on shore. If the waves are just TOO good to pass up: WEAR THEM EAR PLUGS and drop a little isopropol alcohol & glycerine in 'em afterwards. Also, blow-out your sinuses with some clean water and gargle with some Listerine (or something like that). O.K., I'll shut up now. Thanks.

Posted by: Jimmie at December 4, 2003 02:46 PM


Saw the news this morning. Good on the courts for throwing the case out. And she calls herself an environmentalist.

I spent last night paddling around for about 40 minutes trying to get into these very shifty waves in rippy, currenty conditions. Finally got a nice one. Some good ones always just 50 feet away... what a workout. It was a killa sunset and fairly warm last night. Nice.


Posted by: dano at December 4, 2003 02:59 PM

good advice, e. now if damn werk will just cooperate and let me get outta here at a reasonable time... ; )

Posted by: ck at December 4, 2003 03:30 PM

OB: shouting out because it's still surfable. More frequent rain squalls but holding in a super duper fickle way. Still impossible to predict ...super changeable...Only reliable factor is there is much less ass-kicking going on for the afternoon wipeouts.

Water quality: I had an epiphany the other day when I reached for a glass of crystal clear Brita filtered agua and realized...WTF?!!! Why do I care what I drink? How many zillion gallons of norcal polluted ocean gunk have been shoved through my digestive system?! How many surfers go out of their way like me to drink filtered or bottled water...ahaha...

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at December 4, 2003 03:32 PM

It rained for most of the time I was in the water, so maybe that diluted any nastyness. The water actually seemed very clear to me (almost montara-like) for the beach.

Posted by: Friend #1 at December 4, 2003 03:37 PM

i copied this cool story from alt.surfing. This guy and his friends rented the Typhoon Lagoon wave pool in orlando..

Oh lord, it's the Typhoon lagoon report.....

Here goes....

We decided to do it. Novelty? Yeah. Why not. We surf. So I teamed up with 7
buddies and split the $1150 fee for use of Typhoon Lagoon at Disney. It worked
out to $143.75 each for 100 total waves (we got 110 or somewhere around there).
I was kinda pumped to try it out. They said we could bring our own music (which
they cranked) so I brought the latest Jane's Addiction and Audioslave.

We got to the park as all the tourists were leaving. At 5:30 sharp, a dude
appeared - he was our "host" or something to that effect. He made us sign our
life away to Mickey via waiver and then took us inside. I'm going to spare you
the details and get right to the surf.

We had to choose our format in 25 wave increments. As everyone decided to weigh
in on what they liked best I decided we'd do 25 lefts, 25 rights, 25 split
peaks and then choose the last 25 later.

It was kind of weird, real mechanical. You can have two guys in the water at a
time - One waiting for a wave and one on deck). If you are taking a left, then
you sit to one side of the pool and hear this WHOOSH sound. The waves starts
coming at you from across the pool and peaks where you should be sitting. A
typical left is like this: catch wave, bottom turn, two turns off the top, a
pump or two and then hit the closeout. Pretty quick but fun nonetheless. A
right is the same but just opposite. However, I do think the rights tend to be
a bit longer in total ride time.

Split peak is kind of cool. The peak is bigger but the ride is shorter and you
get twice as many waves cause you have two guys going at once. We decided to do
the last 25 as split peaks to maximize wave count. Typical split peak ride -
drop in, off the top, roundhouse and rebound into an inside section, three
pumps, hit it.

I pretty much got dialed right in although I did miss one wave. Real weak to
miss a wave in a wave pool. On the wave I missed I was sitting as far back as I
thought reasonably possible to still catch the wave but it was too far back. I
was just trying to maximize ride time.

All in all, not to bad. Pretty fun but real mechanical. Fun to do it with the
boys. And then lots of fun afterward as we raided the House of Blues.

Oh yeah, the pics/video. Did not turn out real well. It was really dark and I
would have set the camera up at another angle in retrospect. We had a gimp
shoot all the video and he shot on two sides of the pool at different time
until the battery ran out. The pics are various framegrabs of me. Some rights,
some lefts and then one of the "center peak" at the bottom where you can see me
going left and another dude going right. The pics are dark and small (sorry
about that) but you'll get the idea.


Posted by: e at December 4, 2003 03:46 PM

Posted by: e at December 4, 2003 04:23 PM

46006 Macking!

Posted by: dano at December 4, 2003 04:31 PM

Spooky solo surf at the end of the N line this a.m.. The water was really green and pretty clear. I think clearer water lends itself to spooking, since you can gaze into the depths. A crow squawked at me as I crossed the road to the strand. Nobody out for about 2 or 3 blocks in either direction. Pelican squadrons and gulls were buzzing my tower, riding the offshore updrafts 6 inches above the faces, startling me.

Had a few decent rides and a few comically spastic spills (s.s., maybe I was one of those pratfallers making you wince). Then, no doubt overreacting to sub-surface swirlings and an odd bubble or two, was overtaken by The Fear of the 'Don (Carcharodon Carcharias) after 45 mins. Vowed never to whine about crowds again as I caught one in.


Posted by: redworm at December 4, 2003 05:35 PM

i lost all the Respect i had for Barbara Streisand after that lawsuit..

Posted by: bagel at December 4, 2003 07:01 PM

bagel...you had respect for Babs?!!! ; )

Posted by: ck at December 4, 2003 07:09 PM

I'm returning my copy of Yentil.


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