E's Surf Report: Transkei

Driving from Capetown to Durban.
The classic South African ramble.
A big swell lighting up the coast.
In your rickety combi van.
Dry, mountainous, golden-hilled California-like terrain.
Past Umptata and you see a ruckus up ahead on the road.
It looks like a collision but there is something not quite normal about the scene.
A crowd of local people dart and dash.
A few women cry out in what sounds like terror.
A few sprint past you, wide-eyed and frightened.
What the?
You begin to slow down when suddenly you hear a low, stomach-churning growl from up ahead.
You come to a stop and then see what cannot be, but is.
A huge beastial mammal lifts its head above the crashed car in the road.
It's some type of hyena/cheetah/baboon hybrid.
Maybe?
Patchy fur, cat-like eyes, ape-like head, gigantic muscular body.
What is that thing!!?
The real horror sets in when you realize what it's eating.
Clamped between it's bloody maw is an unmistakable human leg.
The beast looks to be really digging in.
Blood dripping down it's fanged mouth.
A wild look in it's eyes.
It sees you looking at it.
It stops chewing for an instant and stares you down.
In that moment your thoughts freeze.
The beast communicates.
"Don't fuck with me. I will come eat you in your dreams."
You turn the combi around and drive back to Port Elizabeth.
Back to Capetown.
Back to America.
Memories of the Transkei Diablo haunt your sleep.

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soo.. the comments are sort-of working now! Hey!! I still need to work through the new stylesheets and get the font color and spacing and all that shit smoothed out.. But. there is a chance that if you register with typekey (click on the comment link) the whole enchelada will actually work (probably not though). Please email me if you experience problems (e@niceness.org)

SHit! nevermind.. it's not working for me now.. Fucking fuck fuck!!

----------------------

buuuuUuRP.

is this typekey thing working yet?

Posted by: scott free

at May 18, 2006 10:44 AM

does it work?? first??

Posted by: sd rider

at May 18, 2006 10:46 AM

I think I am signed in. This is wierd.... I feel like big brother is watching me.

Posted by: toooshy

at May 18, 2006 10:55 AM

works for me... how's it going e?

Posted by: bird

at May 18, 2006 11:04 AM

radical!

bring on the butt shots!

ha.. but seriously my mom doesn't like those.

Some people are still having problems with the comments so hopefully we'll be able to work through them and get this bitness up and running.

surf.

Posted by: e

at May 18, 2006 11:12 AM

Hey, Hey. It's working.
Well, so sorry it had to come to this, but anarchy only works when everybody plays nice with one another.

Posted by: Jimmie

at May 18, 2006 11:33 AM

So who likes punk rock?

Posted by: J.C. Thomas

Alrighty then. Good job E. Musta been a pain getting it all to work.

Pray for waves this weekend. I'm finished with school for the semester and finally have some free time on my hands.

Posted by: Dennis

at May 18, 2006 11:36 AM

Sweet! I second the call for butt shots

at May 18, 2006 11:37 AM

I've had no one to criticize for days now.

Posted by: fanboy critic

at May 18, 2006 12:23 PM

at May 18, 2006 12:47 PM

Who's ready to burn?

keep pimpin'

egp

Posted by: EG Pimp

at May 18, 2006 01:07 PM

any surfables this morning?

Posted by: joe fo

at May 18, 2006 01:14 PM

Yay!

Posted by: Eric

at May 18, 2006 01:18 PM

shhweet. surfboarding!

Posted by: seascum

at May 18, 2006 01:23 PM

if you all keep whacking off to curren whacks, you're gonna go blind!

thanks e, I was jonesing hard.

at May 18, 2006 01:25 PM

May I be the first to say, "It's nice to be back...."

and now the front....

Posted by: Kaiser

at May 18, 2006 01:44 PM

Posted by: MWers

at May 18, 2006 01:46 PM

tramp stamp lady for president!

(i was always the "for president" guy)

at May 18, 2006 01:55 PM

Anyone have any experiences with eurovans? I am thinking of buying myself a used one for weekend surf trips. I can use another car for the daily commute. I am hoping to get one in decent shape for under 20,000.

at May 18, 2006 02:09 PM

When I left this morning for work at about 9:20 am it looked really glassy and fun out there with not a person in sight.

at May 18, 2006 02:10 PM

Man:] "Hello?"
[Operator:] "This is the United States calling."
"Are we reaching?"
(Phone is Hung Up)
"See he keeps hanging up."
"But it's a man answering."
(Operator cuts connection)'
test...

Posted by: KG

at May 18, 2006 02:27 PM

WASSUP????!!!!
it was kinda fun this morning.
punk rock rules!

Posted by: lerm

at May 18, 2006 02:28 PM

toooshy- i've got experience with the vanagons, and some anecdotal evidence about eurovans. check out gowesty.com- they have lots of info, and a good overview of the different models from bus to vanagon to eurovan. i've had a couple of '86 campers, and they're great vehicles- 20 mpg, plenty of space, great to hang out in all day/weekend++. lots of them on craigslist. plus 4wd if you've got the $$

at May 18, 2006 02:44 PM

at May 18, 2006 03:05 PM

MWers - rad photo

at May 18, 2006 03:09 PM

It's like we're all the frsit pots today.

Posted by: kloo

at May 18, 2006 03:26 PM

do we need to have the typekey login name visible? i vote no.

at May 18, 2006 03:29 PM

Joe fo - thanks for the info. what is your opinion on the fridge and stove? i think i definitely need the fridge, but it is sometimes difficult to get a stove. And i can just keep a little mini grill for cooking, although it will not be so easy to make eggs after a long surf.

i had a full camper for a while, and didn't use the fridge/stove/sink much. i prefer none of those, because of the extra space you get without all that stuff- bigger bed, 2 extra seats, etc. i usually cook outside on a campstove, and bring a cooler, which works fine. the fridges should be cooled down - ok if you can plug it in the night before (ie park in a garage or very close to an outlet), then you've got to run them on propane.

so it's a personal choice- all that camping gear seems cool, & lots of folks like it, but some prefer the simpler 'weekender' model with just a table, 2 beds, & seating for 6 or plenty of boards.

at May 18, 2006 03:51 PM

There are some other westfalias or eurovans for sale, they may not be in the bay area and i need a VW expert to check it out. Who was your mechanic Joe? I live in the outer sunset, so i am sure there are specialized mechanics around just do not know about the tahoe/reno areas.

at May 18, 2006 04:08 PM

The comments setup is still pretty broken.. sorry if anyone's been having issues. When in doubt do a bunch of refreshes.

kloo i could remove the signiture.. then everyone would be anon unless they included their name in the post. maybe good?

this is my new scene

at May 18, 2006 04:21 PM

steve at karmakanix (berkeley) knows his stuff. the go westy guys are really good (central coast- bring your boards). their vans are expensive but nice. also, the buslab in berkeley works on vans. i don't know about tahoe/reno. if i were to buy from a dealer, it would be go westy over the reno guys. good rep, honest people. some surfers working there (this is a surf blog, right?)

at May 18, 2006 04:30 PM

Nice to be back no if you could fix the surf as easy as the site get to work!

Posted by: antman

at May 18, 2006 04:39 PM

at May 18, 2006 04:54 PM

i kind of like the auto signature. if anything kloo, maybe just go back into type key and set up a new account with a different login name.

the profile page seems like it will be kinda cool once people start to get them set up.

at May 18, 2006 05:13 PM

wait, so your mom is not cool with the booty shots, but she's down with all the herb smoking?

one out of two ain't bad.

glad you're still pushing forward despite the annoying setbacks.

keep on ripping: the waves, the words, the tunes.

and, e, here's a little sculpture i made; your mom can calm the nerves on that after kaiser and (where ya at?) sactomex sear her retinas with bootilicious delights.

Posted by: king james version

at May 18, 2006 05:32 PM

Yeah, okay!

Now, let it be surfable tomorrow.

at May 18, 2006 08:10 PM

word.

Posted by: TJ

at May 18, 2006 08:27 PM

Hmmm ...guess it's working! Petaluma checking in.

Posted by: Jack

at May 18, 2006 09:18 PM

Ah, Fancy Jack from Petaluma. Imagine meeting you here.

Posted by: Spiderman

at May 18, 2006 09:46 PM

cool.

Posted by: Ancient Jetties

at May 19, 2006 12:42 AM

cheers hope you are getting waves this spring

Posted by: toneman

at May 19, 2006 08:05 AM

Just testing....

Posted by: duncanfc

at May 19, 2006 10:05 AM

glad the comments are back, but it looks kinda busted. i suggest getting rid of the "comments" header above each post, it's not very readable right now.

still stoked from the session last sunday evening, head high wedges coming through and only like 4 dudes out... soooo fun.

Posted by: bbr

at May 19, 2006 10:10 AM

Hey guys, hows it going? E, im glad you got this stuff fixed. argh I got a stomach ache because I just ate too much food. Yucky. Hows the surf been? I've been up in the mountains

Posted by: Brian

at May 21, 2006 06:17 PM

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

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