E's Surf Report

3to5- read your post last night re kids. You must have gone through some tough times having yours at 28. At 28, I was in no way mature enough to handle parenting. But you were most likely way ahead of me mentally. rza- 3to5 is spot on, you will miss epic days, no way around it if you want to be the best parent you can…I am the same age as 3to5, and we had our first kid last year. The problem I am having to figure out is that because I am wanting/having to spend time with her and am missing surf days, my surfing is suffering because of it, also my surfing was already starting to suffer naturally just because I am getting older and cannot surf like I did up to my late thirties. For awhile it really depressed me…then I just let go and accepted the inevitable change….the initial letting go blossomed into welcoming the change…now I am slowly finding more comfort in my current “surf situation” than in my past, when I was surfing WAY better than now. Now, I ride bigger boards to make things easier. When I am “on watch” with my daughter I take her to the beach and hang out with friends and watch them surf. I have found that the younger guys respect my responsibilities and cut me some slack in the water. The older guys have all been there, and sometimes will come in early to hang out on the beach with me. In a strange sort of way, the surfing experience has become more complete by including my family, where before it was a very individual experience. I think our whole crew feels the benefit of seeing the next generation participating in the culture. When I show up now ready to surf, the question is “where is your daughter”. They are actually missing her. It has, in a small way, brought all the surfers in our crew closer together. Something I never thought of or expected. It is a beautiful thing to be part of.

Excellent comments, web. I'm going through that late 30's skill transition and trying to get my six year old daughter interested in surfing, so we can share a common experience. She doesn't like getting salt water in her eyes, though, so I signed up as a soccer coach so that I could be involved in something she does like. I'm losing two potential surfing days a week, but it's become less of a big deal with each passing week. Hopefully I won't feel any resentment once the wave machine turns on ;-)

You guys with kids are gnarly at 32 i feel sooo not ready.

e, good luck dude. everything sounds great except the 9 hour drive and the fact that i dont play music..

Watch out for the sand people.

Sounds dangerous, stay at home where it is safe.

Avian bird flu is going to get us all!

i need to surf.

You guys sound like cool dads. Wish mine had been a surfer. Instead it was, " Hey sweetie, just step backwards off the top of the boulde and try to walk down the side. Don't worry about dangling in the air. This rope sling will hold you - trust me, this same belay technique worked for me in '58. " I know you newer dads will do better than this. ;)

I need a massive spliff, a drum circle, some half clad natural goddesses dancing and a fatty organic salad. what a beautiful morning at the beach.

nice one nectar.

e, go for it. How many times in life will you get to do this? Take Monday off.

good insight web. all of the new experiences that come along with kids sound extremely challenging and rewarding - but at this point, the challenging aspects are winning the debate. if it was only up to me, i'd wait another five years or so and enjoy the freedom and lack of serious responsibility. making babies will force me to take my career much more seriously, thereby insuring my spot in this here cubicle. yuck.

e, make the trek. opportunities don't always come around a second time. and being at joshua tree is like exploring some distant planet.

That last pic is what I need NOW!!!

E - Go for it.

The rest of you youngins - Don't wait to have kids. A lot of people take it for granted that you can have kids later in life. but that is not always the case.

Funny thing is I entertained this "How much surfing do you miss as a dad?" queerie in the water this AM.

For me, I had to give up afternoon sessions. Mostly because my Wife is totally on in the AM, and I pick up the girl from preschool in the evenings.

Yeah, you miss some days. But mostly, I just don't go out in marginal conditions as much. Also, week days are easier than weekends.

e - DO IT DO IT DO IT. the night drive is nice as there's no traffic and (at least for me) driving at night, seeing the stars, etc. helps clear the head and also get a lot of interesting thoughts. hell, i'd roll with you if i didn't just get back from a ton of driving over the 4 day weekend myself, gotta go thru the vehicle and get 'er cleaned up/running better before i go anywhere again.

oh yeah, and headlamps RULE. get yourself an LED one if you don't have one already. much brighter and easier on batteries.

Being a dad rules!

web, i'm not so sure i was that mature when i had my daughter. my wife at the time was a mess (still is). i've had to be the one thing my daughter could absolutely fail safe rely on.

i can totally relate to your comments on aging and surfing ability. i have noticed that on some levels my surfing is still improving. but fark if my reaction times haven't slowed a bit. i'm finding skateboarding to be the genie out of the bottle that keeps the flow fresh in the muscles memories. i recently taught myself to drop in from coping----old dogs can learn new tricks. don't entirely give up.

e, make the drive. you'll be bumming around all weekend if you don't. like epic surf, how often does an epic jam come along????

inspiring words from all the dads!!

Work is so brutally boring.

E, GO!

shit.. i guess i'm gonna fucking sack up and make the drive. My boss said it's cool to take monday off... even though i only have 1 vacation day left. d'oh! If anybody wants to cruise to the desert for the weekend let me know.

48, 49 in november. My kid is five. Waited until 43 before I thought I might be able to handle it. He got his wetsuit when he proved he could swim a length. He's surfed on my back (on the big-ass longboard), and got his first "dunk" about two weeks ago. Didnt like it, we headed in, he had a PB&J sandwich,, sat in the sun for five minutes and then said "I wanna go out again". The real problem is, he likes golf more than surfing (not my fault - I've never played golf in my life). Younger generation. I blame. Ah. Well.

Eddie Would Go.

yup. I'm 37, one boy who is 3 and one who is 1. struggling with the getting older / lack of surf thing as well. kids are so worth it though. we go to OB on the weekends - the wife jogs with the kids, I surf.

surfing during the week is easier - weekends will become more and more for the kids.

trying to stay in shape so when I do surf, I can take full advantage. Bigger boards definitly help - it's not like I go vertical anymore.

Still jonesing though when it is on, and I have to deal with the kids...slowly getting over that though....

transitions.

I'd have to agree with friend #1's comment about kids -- just go for it. I was 30 when my daughter was born and now that she's almost 13 (this month), I've got so much more flexibilty when it comes to doing my own thing. Sure it was tricky to start, but I'd much rather have been in my 30's for those early years than in my 40's. Sleep deprivation takes it out of me so much more these days........

Funny how lots of the Dads on this board were born in or around around '62........

I'm 35 and have 80 kids, my life for a few hours a day can be hell, but it is mostly good.

Ha, I was born in '62; gradually trying to get my 11yo into surfing. Kind of a setback the last year as he got scared once bodyboarding and hasn't wanted to go back in since. That tough balance between pushing and respecting what they're ready for.

Today mid-morning was really fun; lots of rides including some very clean peelers shoulder-high or so. Some junky ones too. Just a few others where I was, including a kneelo--dunno if it was sfkneelo?

SFKneelo has short brown hair and has been seen where you, kloo, frequently surf. He would be the brown haired knee-boarder pulling into big right hand tubes. The blond haired guy is the Don of kneeboarding. One good day last week I saw each of them going way deep.

the SF kneeboarders rip!!

i'm 30 years old, and have 2 boys, 4 and 1/2 and 2 and 1/2. weekend warrior from the east bay, before the boys came along i was 3 times a week for a few years... as a teen in north carolina i was each and every day. i'd pier jump the back of double O waves to get out (on the random days the atlantic would bless us). now my heart skips when OB throws a random 7 footer on an otherwise head high day. in college in virginia i was a hurricane/noreaster/spring break swell only guy.

as a now infrequent surfer, my skills are poor and my fearlessness is lacking (gotta make sure I make it back home in 1 piece). i still love getting in the water every bit as much though, love the challenge of performing better than i should, love having fun in mother ocean, love having my older son tell me to get barrelled for him when i put him to sleep the night before a DP, and love the life i lead as a husband and dad.

it wasn't easy to have kids at the age my wife and i did (25), but I couldn't see doing it any other way now. if my boys get into it, i'll be heading on surf trips every weekend in a few years, camping over night and sharing secluded lineups with 2 of my 3 favorite people in the world. by the time i'm 44, my kids are gone to lead their own lives, and my wife and i will still be pumped to get out and surf/hike/bike/cuddle and generally take advantage of the awesome world we live in...

sometimes i yearn to live in montara, be financially independent, have no children, and do whatever the eff i want. but then i wouldn't be me, and wouldn't have the joys that i have every day in my life.

surf rules. family rules. take what's there and love it....

i'm often impressed by y'all here... keep it up. much love...

go. call in sick on monday. amble back.

the above ramble was courtesy of the rarely sighted oaktown (now berktown) daddy...

Man having kids is tough. I just became a stepfather of 2 lovely ocean loving future surfer girls with grandparents and family in Kauai..sound idealic but there's school homework and all sorts of stuff that a responsible parent must do ahead of surfing. Being responsible is very tough in some ways. Right now how good does a shroomy desert jam sound? E if you have nothing keeping you from going go, my freind, soon life will have more tethers keeping you grounded. and I agree sf kneelos in general are chargers! I remember a bearded soul kneelo slightly aggro but he got so damn deep!! Havent seen him in years

Damn, that first pic from Jersey is one glassy tube. Flip it over and paint it blue and you have a nice shot of Teahopu.

how's that dude who looks like santa clause and prones on a kneeboard down at a few San Mateo breaks? saw him last weekend kinda owning it. i've heard some people call him "bullet"...

"claus", oops.

BBR-Wont mention his name, because he wouldnt want me to, but that guy has been riding a bellyboard for over 30 years (literally) at the same spots. (He will tell you he used to rip on the old longboards , but we know better :) ) He is a pretty bitter guy, (BVB school of bitterness) if you got a smile and a conversation out of him, I'm suprised. But he is an oldtime, genuine local of the area you are referring to, and given respect.

Kids are definitely a lot of work but are well worth it. It has been so rewarding sharing the ocean with my kids. My son has always enjoyed the ocean and has become obsessed with surfing (according to his mother)over the past 2 years. It has been so rewarding to see his skill level and stoke improve with each session. One session stands out last fall at OB. It was probably our second or third time out at OB in shoulder to head high decent conditions where we encountered the usual tough paddle out. Once my son made it out he was a bit tentative in the lineup but eventually gained some confidence after a few take-offs on smaller waves. He then caught a nice Aframe set wave which I had a great view of as I was sitting on the shoulder. I don't know who was more stoked- him or me- with his drop-in and carve down the face of that wave. His huge smile on the paddle back out told it all!

that's gotta be cool to see your son/daughter catch a nice wave and work-it down the line.

I was enjoying the Dad posts when I saw the kneelo thang.

Don and I surfed mid-beach this AM. Don wasn't feeling so hot, so he got out.

Kinda funky out there, but fun too. Marlin nailed a right... beautiful smack where I could see the tailpad above the wave. He went straight into a roundhouse after that.

I think I figured out who Kloo is... howdy! Was that you that was paddling hard for the shoulder and I kept going out to the shoulder? Sorry if it was... I got handcuffed trying to figure out where to go independent of you.

Don and I had a brief chat with SS while their dogs were playing. I think she was heading out later...

OK, I just missed. Born in '63. I have a 4 y/o daughter, a 2 y/o son and another son coming on Jan. 6th. WTF were we thinking? 4-bedroom houses aren't cheap! Trundle beds, on the other hand, are.

Soooo true about all those comments on aging and fatherhood. And weekdays are definitely easier than weekends.

Today kinda kicked my butt. Didn't surf that well, and my lower back is sore. I should have kept up on things more during the offseason.

Anyhow, all in all, a very nice morning. And, it's a whole lot easier to pick me/Don out of the crowd. If you do, please say hello!

I think it was late last week when Carter re-introduced himself. I think SS, Kloo, Carter and me and a kneelo buddy and some others surfed Pacifica when Bruce was shooting awhile back.

There was one pic that looks like he's dropping me while I'm trying to land a floater. FOR THE RECORD, I WOULDN'T AND DIDN'T MAKE THAT WAVE. THAT WAS NOT A FOUL BY CARTER!

And SS7, didn't see ya... did you go?

Longest post ever... OK, I'm bored at work and putting off stuff. Best suck it up and get on it...

to add what Web said about "that" guy ------ he's had that look since i first saw him in my teens surfing the un-mentionables. he's an archetype of days past. a reminder/remainder of what a "nor-cal" surfer was. it always stokes me to see him in the water.

we had a well known slab of reef to ourselves a few years ago for a couple of hours. we where both smiling.

thanks to all the fathers for sharing the stoke of having a family. it's been great to read how children can not only alter, but enhance one's perspective and experiences.

i've probably gotten more out of this thread than any other one on this blog. niceness.

Yeah, SFKneelo, I was guessing I'd be in your way more on that one if I'd stayed put---so I was wondering if I'd made the wrong choice too; the waves were a little hard to predict. Anyway, cool to see you out there!

Being a dad is killer.
I've got two sons that will soon be giving those dorks called the "Kellys Cove Local Boys" a run for their money.

I love my groms.

Looking forward to being a father one day... but not there yet. Beauty day at the beach. If the winds hold... double dip time!
Watched Morning Of The Earth recently and I prefer Stylemasters for the 70's shortboard revolution thing. Perhaps because the narration on Stylemasters makes for a better story. Morning Of The Earth is chock full o' surf romanticism, which can make for beautiful images but seems to be a fundametally flawed philosophy.

E,
save the oil you will be burning and the wear/tear on the desert and your car and yourself. go surf!

i cant imagine the pollution created by these burning-man style events out in the desert.

ps- what is "stressed" spelled backwards?

desserts!

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

etc. kumbayah too

SFNelo, so I guess you have brown hair eh? Don is blond and has the wirycoated dog?

Shared some space with you two early. Marlin was the dude asking about father-surf-time. I was on the blue railed Bonzer, Doof was on his homemade board (Bluegreen/yellow).

BTW, one more benefit of being a parent is that you get a chance to teach someone to surf, guilt-free.

Great comments today. Would love to be a Dad sometime but I think I am way too selfish right now (age 31).

E, if i didnt have to work both days this weekend I would meet you out for the last leg of the trip. The desert jam sounds sweet! And it really isn't 9 hours at that time of night. I always make it to SF from LA in 5 hours and Joshua Tree is another 2 out.

Big drive yes, but big fun and experience you will get nowhere else.

hey i forgot to re-mention (is that a word) that using a "kid emergency" excuse to bail on work for a surf is your right as a dutiful dad.

if my boss see's this i'm so BUSTED!

Kids are unreal.
New boards are sweet.
Surf trips are needed.
Society sucks.
Chicks rule.

Domino's any one?

Very appropriate....

3 weeks away from my first child. We moved in together, with her 9 year old, in May. I have surfed maybe 10 times since then-- Summer shiftiness and now, just commitments, rides to and from soccer,friend's houses etc.
This has been the toughest adjustment of my life- last year, this weekend, I roadied to my sis in Venice B via the 101, stopping leisurely, hit the Queen.. This weekend this year, setting up strollers, washing new baby gear in special baby detergent and about 15 lbs overweight.
That being said, there are many smiles through my days, I love my woman, new child and step child profusely. What I am learning is how to love in a way that is not customized to me and my sole lifestyle. Sacrifice- its deep!
All the words from those grinding on, leaping over or just chilling on the fence of Paternity are really inspiring for this guy turning Man.
Thanks

e, Gram Parsons lost his life down there in J Tree in a binge like you're talking about. For the love of God be careful boy. peace and burn.

that's heavy eg pimp.. I'll be careful man.. but not too careful!!

F#1... I'm having an 'aha' experience. Putting faces to names is always nice.

Personally, I think Don's hair is kinda grey and red, and as wiry as his dog's! ;P

Very cool baby graphics on the board!

On the Father front, my daughter was a bit scared of the pool. Yesterday, she swam the width of the pool for the first time. My wife caught it on video. Game on!

I love road trips.

It's nice to hear from all the stoked parents out there. Can't comment much though cuz I don't have kids and it looks like I'm not going to at this stage of the game. I enjoy playing with my friends children but I also like giving them back after I get them all wound up ;^)

Oops. Last post was me. Back to Corporate America!

inspiring words surfer dads. i've often thought about how i will take my kids into the ocean/mountains/far off lands and try to get them stoked on it...the opposite of how i was raised...but then since he wasn't into it i grew up dreaming and motivated to go find it myself. which makes me wonder-- do any of you still-surfing dads experience the opposite? you're all over it but as a result your kids don't want a thing to do with it?

oh and btw judahpeak, the burning man community in general does an amazing job of limiting the impact of the event as best they can, including months of pre- prepand months of post cleanup work. not to mention the extensive promotion of the leave no trace ethic. the BLM goes over the site extensively and won't issue the permit for the next year if they leave anything signifigant out there.

Let kids do what they want. Just guide them along the way and provide them an opportunity.

Simple rules, simple outcomes.

"Here, have a cheerio son!"

My 8 yr old rode his first waves at Cowells this past summer. a very proud day. he is completely hooked and is already insisting on a trip to Hawaii over the winter break.

e- wish I could join you but Ive been doing a bit too much traveling lately. Before you take off on your trip you must pick up an audio book (or download one to your iPod). Koontz stories are my favorite.

Re the Dad front, I sent my wife the video of the guy paddling his son into waves on his longboard under the title "get ready". She wasn't too concerned about me trying that as she couldn't picture me ever buying a longboard. Before anyone comments, note that I am aware that as I get older and wiser my board will probably bet longer and fatter....

i'd skimboard that shit.

I agree that weekday DPs are the way to go for surfing dads.

I'd like to go into the confusing story of my Oakland family, but suffice to say after buying my 14 and 12 yr olds wetsuits and a lesson at Cowells, they won't go near the beach, even though they did quite well. Maybe because I haven't spent enough time with them going or hanging at the beach. (I'm in the water.) my wife and I are trying for another so maybe I'll have more patience this time.

SFKneelo, sorry I didn't get back to you about going out this am. The new job has been kicking my butt, schedule-wise. I'm going out tomorrow am. Will you and Don be there?

Looks like we're going to get some swell in the next few days...

Fathers who surf rock. E, go for the drive, or find a cheap air ticket and rent a car!

Well, you never know with kids. For some reason, my daughter got this strange fear of water at around age two. And I mean any water -- bathtub, swimming pool, paddling pool anything at all. Which made bathtimes a real joy until she was about 5-6 and it got at bit better. But all that meant that she was a really late starter to swimming -- it took her a few more years to get into a pool. Finally this summer, at age 12, it finally all came together and while she's far from being a strong swimmer, she's at least decent. She's interested in surfing, so I'm thinking Cowells -- we're planning to go down to SC at the end of the month for her b-day

Hey SS7,
Tomorrow is out for me. I have a 8AM mtg, then the rest of the day is packed. I may try Friday AM.
I need to do some haggling to figure out how much I can chase the surf Fri-Sun. Since KSUSA is back up, let's check in tomorrow via PM.

Is it perfect out there yet?

yep. get on it.

OK! time for a cute sloth picture than! ill go check it now..

I have it on good authority that all you surfing dads are “totally lame”. Or so says my otherwise sweet sixteen year old.

Del says SURF!

if i was 16 and my dad surfed i wouldn't think he was lame!!

You obviously don't know Spiderman all that well........ ;)

j, no offense but are you fucking kidding?

Your bloated 50 year old dad paddles up on his tanker/bonzer/"o b gun"/funboard/"big guy" shortboard, pick one, probably wearing the helmet your mom forces on him, and starts trying to bro down with you and your just post grom friends, using a weird combination of antique surf lingo and incorrectly applied up-to-date slang he picked up reading your transworld surfs in the shitter before work, and you're not going to think he's lame? Think back to when you were 16, man.

That approach works with the kids 'til they hit puberty, then its pretty lame for at least until they've got a couple of years of college under the belt.

Depends on lots of stuff. I know a guy who takes his 16 yr old daughter to DP with him literally every day, then clears out of there and speeds off to school, lying to the teachers for his daughter when they are late b/c the surf was good. They get along EXCELLENTLY.

I don't no. I grew up surfing with a buddy and his dad. His dad was pretty cool, taking us to the beach and all. My buddy ended up going pro later in life. There are lamer dads out there.

crap, what's happinin' to my spelling over the years?

I mean I don't 'know'.

or meant. shit altzheimers in my 30's.

yeah I was kind of joking, but i was also one of those insecure 16 year olds always trying to be cool especially around the ladies. i was basically a bit of a damone. there were times when i was pretty embarrassed by the old man too, he thought it was funny. now i'm an insecure 2x 16 year old still always trying to be cool. in need of an intervention probably.

Mannn, i loved the old surf times we had. The ol dTrestle walk trail used to be dirt. They had it kinda blocked off at the beginning, but then they decided to pave it. They forgot to kinda block off the entrance with those obnoxious metal posts after paving it .

So for 1 solid season my best surf bud and I would
DRIVE his old beater Country Squire, down the trestle path,
pull it deep into the shrubbery at the bottom, and camaflage it with additional tree limbs if necessary.

Then go for hours on end surf sessions. Trestles. What a wave.

When we were done with our surf session, we'de just drive
out, and up, giving a polite beepbeep to surfers heading
down the trail on their skateboards or walking.

We finally stopped when we came back from a surf session
and had a parking ticket on the windshield! Why they didnt
TOW us, we never understood, but we knew the jig was up.

Great memories.

Doh! As if your teenager thinks you're any cooler, "Lime Voodoo". And please don't think that being in some kind of speed metal band when we first met makes your credentials any less dopey. Just ask our wives, we were "totally lame" when they used to see us out at the Deaf Club, Mabuhay Gardens or the Dead Kennedys' shows at "The Temple". They may tell you they thought that look was kinda cute but in reality, we be fools to rule out a simple, old fashioned "mercy date".

DP tomorrow?

Imagine a world without leashes!!!

nap time + good conditions = happy mama.
the best thing i've ever taken part in is raising my son. it's really about sacrificing a lot, esp. if you are older and set in certain ways, like going when it's good. now, if the tide is crap and it's blown out when i can go, i just make the best of it. or go grocery shopping. it doesn't mean i don't feel a little grouchy about it once in a while. we are in hot pursuit of a good camper van so we can drive the coast and surf. if anyone's looking to sell one, pls let me know.
e, sounds fun and it would probably end up with all the makings of a great story, especially for the grandkids someday. but the drive IS daunting.

spanish bay cobbles was fun fun fun this morn --- 7-8 am before the tide got to high glassy off shore sweetness...i know i'm naming names but i'm down in monterrey and surfing insted of golfing--sweetness prevails

I'm 34 and have a 3 year old son and an almost-5 year old girl. I had her paddling out with me at age 3, and cruising up and down the coast, occasionally finding ourselves right next to dolphins (with a little full-suit that we got her). While she was still two, she became the youngest participant in the annual Polar Bear Dip, on New Year's Day, here in Cayucos. Yes, if you couldn't tell, I'm crazy proud of my little charger. Now, she paddles out on the LB with me all the time and is charging on the bodyboard, as well. Our son is showing huge interest as well, but really needs a better suit; he ends up frozen in minutes.

What I'm trying to say is that it can be BLAST to share surfing (as well as everything else) with your kids. I was almost 30 when we had our first, and while it wasn't planned AT ALL, it was the best thing that ever happened to us.

One more thing; regarding teenagers being embarassed to be around their surfing dads. There's a local father-daughter team that ALWAYS surf together (she's around 18) and they both RIP and neither seems embarrassed in the least.

Kids are killer.

I went to Kauai with my 13 year old daughter about six years ago. I'll never forget watching her go down the line as I was going down the line on the wave behind her. It was early morning and we were the only people there. It was two feet and remains one of my all time favorite waves. Last year my 10 year girl went to surf camp. She said she won best trick. I asked what that was and she crossed stepped to the nose. I was proud. I've been a guitarist for 25 years E, and done every kind of gig, but never blasted in the desert. Sounds cool.