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summertime funk

late report.
small, dinky, blustery, doable.
No takers through the north end as of 6:45.

I think I'll write the "encyclopedia of surfing." There isn't one, so why shouldn't I write it? Hell, I'll even throw a couple years at it, tell everyone that's what I'm doing, get some press, fill a need, make a little dough. No biggie, it won't be like a REAL encyclopedia or anything, with like a whole volume for each letter or anything-- it's just about surfing. I'll try and write like a 100 words or so for each entry, maybe have an entry for each letter or so, sometimes maybe 2. Shouldn't be too hard, we'll get some of the top photogs to send in some shots, maybe SURFER will run an entry a month or something, that would be rad. Which reminds me, gotta do an encyclopedia entry for the word "rad"... So, that was fun-- but now I'm kinda bored. I think now I'll write the HISTORY of surfing, or should I write the DICTIONARY first?

Posted by: cadaver at August 8, 2005 11:54 AM

Well at least we had some fun little waves for the weekend. Shared a sandbar with Steamwand on Sunday morning and she was rippin it up on that fish.

I got a pair of Doc's earplugs. They work pretty good. Compared to the silicone globs and the orange plunger shaped orange thing I bought at Safeway, Doc's are far superior. Very little sound dampening and they stayed in pretty good. They come with a cord attached that I tucked under a flap of my wetsuit so they wouldn't fall out and wash away. The only thing I didn't like was trying on the samples to get the right size. You might want to take some alcohol to clean them before inserting.

I picked up a 6'8 semi this weekend too. Can't wait to try it out but I'm gonna have to judging by the forcasts.

Posted by: Dennis at August 8, 2005 11:57 AM

Now e, just because the surf sucks doesn't mean you can shirk your responsibilities to the rest of us who look to you for inspiration, entertainment, and surf dreaming while we're at work. C'mon, howzabout one of your usual poetic explosions? Then Kaiser can post some hot chix pix. BVB can lurk. Someone will report another car break in, and before you know it, a south swell will be here with cracklin' 3 to 5 foot, down the line sliders!

Posted by: at August 8, 2005 12:02 PM

Gopher update.

Had to beat one to death with a trowel this morning. Trap got it's foreleg only, so when I tried to pull up the trap, it pulled back. Got a glove on and pulled it up. It was a big one, and it squeeled and hissed. Traps are surprizingly bloodless, but bashing with a trowel is not.

I usually get a sense of satisfaction pulling up a trap holding a dead gopher.

Pounding that gopher this morning was anything but fun.

I said nothing of this to my Wife, or daughter.

So I am telling you.

Posted by: friend #1 at August 8, 2005 12:43 PM

Friend #1, next time call my cell, I will provide gopher bashing services FOC and on call. They are vermin...

Posted by: blakestah at August 8, 2005 12:47 PM

This weekend on the Central Coast


Posted by: jardinee at August 8, 2005 12:54 PM

I saw the half-page article about Matt Warshaw's recent wedding in the weekend's Examiner. There was even a big photo and a cute little story of how he proposed!!

Posted by: rza at August 8, 2005 12:55 PM

Did Sat & Sun mornings at the same spot as just about everyone else on the beach. Some fun drops and steep walls, mostly sectiony, but occasionally a longer ride.

Despite the crowd, people mostly stayed sufficiently spread out that there were no real crowd issues that I saw. A little slalom action now and then.

Congrats on your new board, Dennis! I've been gazing longingly at my semi in the garage. I did see a guy with tethered earplugs and a woman who was charging lotsa waves yesterday late morning.

I was reading Christian's interview again, and noticed his recommendation that, to improve your surfing, you should focus on one thing at a time. Anyone remember something you focused on that really helped your surfing?

Posted by: kloo at August 8, 2005 01:13 PM


As a former Longboarder, focussing on 'down, then around' helped me on my drops.

Posted by: friend #1 at August 8, 2005 01:27 PM

Oh wait. I still longboard underhead. Change that to "As a recovering Longboarder....

Posted by: friend #1 at August 8, 2005 01:29 PM

Kloo - Thanks. It probably wasn't me that you saw depending on what you call late morning. I was outta the water by 9 am.

Posted by: Dennis at August 8, 2005 01:38 PM

read warshaw's story on van dyke in the latest surfers journal --- well written piece. ob also pictured in the mag

kloo, i was out there also, both sat and sun morns, couldn't believe the crowds given the marginal surf.. caught a few down the liners complete with cutbacks

Posted by: mig at August 8, 2005 01:38 PM

My only focus: "land the farking drop, please, for gods sake" and if I'm so lucky to succeed, improv by waving my arms around and wiggling my feet like a big spaz so the board turns in one direction or another. But usually success means me going *SPLAT* as the wave crunches over. Still wondering how long this singular focus takes to show marked improvement. ;P

Anyone else see the dolphins super close in kloo-land this weekend?

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at August 8, 2005 01:48 PM

i totally think it helps to focus on one manuever at a time, although in the end you have do what the wave allows. i remember years ago for months on end all i tried to do was floaters. and then i got really focused on learning to pump down the line, starting with a first pump when i first got up 'cause there was a guy that surfed getchel street real well that always did that and i liked his speed and flow. now i am trying to learn to do a roundhouse cuttie. i've been watching september sessions and pausing and rewinding and playing back the many perfect cutbacks i may never be able to do.

Posted by: steamwand at August 8, 2005 01:54 PM

steamwand, shoutout if you're dping this week.

I might venture to guess that the best way to learn drops, cutbacks, roundhouse cutties, and floaters are CLEAN, CONSISTENT, UNCROWDED WAVES. Oh dear.

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at August 8, 2005 01:56 PM

See, the surf may have been marginal for the experience or skilled, but it was perfectly sized for someone of my (lack of) ability level, given enough speed to make a turn, relatively easy paddle outs, and not-hurting-too much when you go face first off the top of a wave. Not crowded enough to have wait for a wave, but enough out so I wasn't the only plate on the landlord's menu. Only 1 fisherman out where I was.

Any bio-naturalists can tell me if gophers are native to western SF or if they are recently introduced? Internet query on the topic revealed that you should put urine soaked kitty litter on the gopher holes...sounds like a Pyrrhic vicorty to me. I say if you can't reach your goal, just redefine the task...make the backyard the San Francisco Urban Gopher Refuge and seek funding from the park service.

Posted by: Andrew in Alameda at August 8, 2005 01:59 PM

Spent an hour and a half Sunday afternoon bobbing about in the waist-chest high waves in front of the great highway. Onshores were in full effect, but it was great to get wet at least once a week. I caught perhaps three decent waves and managed a few squiggles and arm waves for effect.

Posted by: steve-o at August 8, 2005 01:59 PM



Posted by: Hb at August 8, 2005 02:04 PM

Dammit. Let's try it again.


Posted by: Hb at August 8, 2005 02:06 PM

Why isn't he waving his arms around?

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at August 8, 2005 02:15 PM

HB - you getting anything down there? I wear a helmet on occasion but in this case, I think he could do without the helmet.

Posted by: Dennis at August 8, 2005 02:16 PM

Both my Cat and Dog pee in my backyard. When I first started my campaign, I saw an add for Fox Piss pellets. Just ask yourself how they got the piss, and flash back on the Peta films that show some nights on Cable access. No thanks.

I'll stick to the traps. So far, I like the ones that Noriega True value sells better than those from Lakeside, or Urban Farmer. Plus you don't have to deal with the staff of Lakeside.

Posted by: friend #1 at August 8, 2005 02:27 PM

Damn gophers. They've made a mess of my backyard this year. Used to be less of a problem but the cat that was excellent at catching and dismembering them died around XMas. And the cat that's left pees outside and is a total tard about catching them...... Maybe I'll try the traps.......

Posted by: limevoodoo at August 8, 2005 02:34 PM

What do you bait the traps with, anyway?

Posted by: limevoodoo at August 8, 2005 02:35 PM

Gopher tips:


Posted by: moss_man at August 8, 2005 02:43 PM

No bait. You just put the traps in the tunnel, and when the gopher bumps the trigger, the pinchers get the body of the gopher. Hopefully.

I recommend tying a tether to the traps. Buy at least two of them. When you find a fresh hole, dig down to the 'T' and put the traps on either branch. If the trap doesn't get them, they will often back fill the hole, so it is worth a stout tether to make sure you don't lose the trap.

Posted by: friend #1 at August 8, 2005 02:46 PM

Gophers: Get the gopher windmill. It works.

Posted by: gophers gone bye bye at August 8, 2005 02:46 PM

Posted by: the man at August 8, 2005 03:03 PM

The only real solution to gophers is digging the whole thing out every 5 years, lining it with wire, and filling it in. At the first sign of a gopher do it again.

Then again...

It may or may not be a lasting solution, but it sure looks like fun. Wonder if it is legal within city limits...

Posted by: blakestah at August 8, 2005 03:27 PM

got me a fish
cant wait to surf it.
Any advice for a fish neophyte?

Posted by: antman at August 8, 2005 03:29 PM

I miss the pic of those 2 phat chix...I'd do the one on the left

Posted by: antman at August 8, 2005 03:31 PM

We miss you antman!!!

Posted by: phat chix at August 8, 2005 03:35 PM

having a sole purpose to a surf session can be a limiting thing.

my advice if you want to get better faster your best bet is to buy a skateboard with a reasonable wheelbase, 60mm+ diameter, not harder than 90a wheels. Loosen the trucks so it's floppy, now you can carve turns down hills and learn to ride in bowls/parks. visualize your surfing and let the concrete be your wave. it works.

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at August 8, 2005 04:03 PM

fun sat am, found a sandbar that was dishing out longish rides with walls and lips despite the small size. lots of people around but nicely spread, the current seemed to be keeping people away from "my" bar. i traded waves with 1 or 2 heads. mellow. good times for summer and compared to recent conditions for sure. nice dolphin action also.

forgot to ask this last week - did anyone surf between rivera and vincente last weekend and notice a really fucked up kind of industrial smell, especially noticeable in the whitewater?

Posted by: vons at August 8, 2005 04:03 PM

I have been smelling plastic burning near Rivera for the past couple of days. I haven't tried to find the fire. Maybe the two are related. Maybe someone is gopher hunting with a Rodex in my hood.

Posted by: friend #1 at August 8, 2005 04:07 PM

Dennis. No. Nothing. Crumbly and small. And not even glassy. Gross. Sad. Depressing. And I wasn't really making fun of the helmet, just the helmet in those conditions etc.

I know nothing about gophers.

Posted by: Hb at August 8, 2005 04:11 PM

nice shot Hb.

one of my pals from the east coast came out
about a year ago and i took him to lindy as a
cold water adjustment session. he was completely
blown away and entertained by the mayhem there.
he was most fascinated by the dude with the helmet
and the liam mcnamara-style spray guard down WITH
webbed gloves. kept calling teh guy "short bus" and
was literally scared to be near him as the dude was
none to sea worthy on his 10 footer.

those conditions seem like a little bit soft
for a helmet (in the photo).

greenough movie manana at balboa theater...

Posted by: korewin at August 8, 2005 04:34 PM


Posted by: MxRxHx at August 8, 2005 04:38 PM

my favorite Lindy character is a lady I dubbed " the Mikado". If you've seen her you'll know what I'm talking about. I tweaked my back at Rockaway a few years back and saw her paddle out. I was fascinated

Posted by: antman at August 8, 2005 04:38 PM

Just got around to reading that hardcore story from last Friday, e. I'm surprised I hadn't heard that one. Not one to bust out during good vibes around a campfire though. Dang...

Checked out the Lake Michigan surf last Saturday. Not even ankle-slappers. 1-3' forecast for yesterday. Probably was on the low end of that though.

sharkbait -- Did you get my email last week about the Alcatraz training stuff?

Posted by: mwsf at August 8, 2005 04:49 PM

Posted by: MxRxHx at August 8, 2005 04:52 PM

Wrag-shawMcgraw is what "Doc" was back during the era of the New Yorker story. Helicopters and shit shooting into the lefts at Pachinco Street. Steve Spaulding shooting from the water - it was madness; CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, Frankly I don't see the purpose of the encyclopedia, mainly becasue I wasn't in it - and therein lies the rub. But seriously folks, it looks damned nice in my collection of art books.
As I sat in the cold water yesterday after high, with a river running south beneath me in the 0-1' f waves; the wind a blustery nag out of the S-west I was reminded of lo' the many days when we old farts (40-45) used to sit it out ALL SUMMER LONG YEAR AFTER SLOPPY YEAR. Eventually nature would force out into that crap and we'd surf the swillerrily looking for others to share the misery with. I say, hereby declare, that everyone on this blog has to enter the water at least 5 times each week until september - no matter what the conditions. Call it "serving time," "doing time," "penance," or whatever euphamism you kids use for the word 'suffer' these days. Consider it a neccesary flogging, a 'right of passage'.
Pick up some trash while you're at there "SURFRIDER."How rude is it for these outsiders to show up only when it gets good. THAT KIND OF SHIT REALLY PISSES ME OFF.
And to the stupid chick who cross paddled and gave me face: May a wave pulverize you one day and force you into early retirement - you will not last.

Posted by: Larry Ohana at August 8, 2005 04:56 PM

nice board ULTRAMAN!

that show was the BOMB when i was a kid.
so terrible but so awesome. planes on wires
and dudes in monster suits stomping little towns.
hell yeah.
"and hyata became.....ULTRAMAN!"

Posted by: korewin at August 8, 2005 04:57 PM

antman will like this one, both a fat chick AND a mikado lady. Enjoy!

Posted by: surfseeker7 at August 8, 2005 05:04 PM

my official "larry checklist":

> "surfed" 5 days last week (check)
> picked up trash at each spot (check)
> why so angry lawrence? (fill in the blank)

40 > 45 is not an old fart really larry. more
like an early start on cranky old man from the way
you sound...and by the way,
i can hear you fine. please take your finger off the shift key....
if we call you lawrence like lawrence "chipper" jones
will you get pissed like he does?

also this is completey sarcastic so if you DO
get pissed, find a sense of humor in your old age too.

Posted by: korewin at August 8, 2005 05:06 PM

I luv you antman!!

Posted by: surfseeker7 at August 8, 2005 05:07 PM


Posted by: Bronwin Merriwether La Salle at August 8, 2005 05:30 PM

GO Rodex!

Posted by: Dennis at August 8, 2005 08:20 PM

larry is really bvb

he didn't make the encyclopedia for writing annoying letters to surf magazines

just like he is not going to the hall of fame for trolling e's blog

he cannot understand that at least SOME people need to enjoy what you write to be memorable.

Posted by: cranky old man at August 8, 2005 08:41 PM

Cranky Old Man is actually Kaiser manipulating identity theft and shit with his happy boy key strokes. YOU'RE the one not having fun; trying to make a name for yourself here on E by nobhobbing when you should actually start practicing your take off and die drops.
Problem with this blog is its shallowness. There's a big world out there. Depth lads, depth.

Over & Out

Posted by: Jack Masters at August 8, 2005 09:45 PM

Does anyone know where to score some crank in SC (Westside)?

Posted by: at August 8, 2005 09:47 PM

You're right. I got to be a real local and paddle out in these shitty daze.

But this is how you banjo in those old days before you born Mr. Ohana.

Posted by: Larry Fan at August 8, 2005 11:15 PM

Posted by: Dock Boggs aka Larry Fan at August 8, 2005 11:17 PM

"40 > 45 is not an old fart really larry"

It damn sure used to be an old fart. Now, not so old. In a few years, 40-45 will be young.

Posted by: at August 9, 2005 05:21 AM
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