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windy and small??

I’m out of the loop this morning. Allz I know is that it’s windy at the beach. Pretty strong out of the SW. Blakestah and Loon had a go of it so it’s probably within range. Another funky, small situation with maybe a surprising allotment of tasty morsels? Ya don’t know till you go. Sorry if I haven’t been able to provide the first-hand, in-the-lineup accounts these last few weeks. My body hasn’t been cooperating, as I’ve mentioned and complained about time and time again. Soo.. yeah! But.. if you’re in Japan is looks like Typhoon #10 is bearing down on you. If you saw a shark out at OB last weekend I heard a little rumor about that. Possibly involving remote-control?? Hmm… In pro-surfing news it looks like Chris Ward will finally make the ASP tour. He’s third on the WQS… so that’s good news for any Chris Ward fans out there. On the ASP Andy’s (5016) way out in front of Kelly (3552), who’s a distant second place. There is still more than half the schedule remaining (Japan, Trestles, 2 in Europe, Brazil, then 2 in Hawaii) so anything can happen. Kelly is still my dark-horse pick! Go the Kelly! In non-surf news my amplifier shorted out last night at band practice. It just wouldn’t turn on. I had to play directly through the PA. Soo.. looks like I’m FINALLY going to be forced into purchasing a new amp. Right now the frontrunner is a customized Fender Concert Reverb. 60 watts. 1 twelve inch speaker. Loud. Buttery. There is a rad guitar shop near the DMV, right on Fell Street. It’s called Panhandle Guitar and the guy who owns it is super mellow and really knowledgeable about amps and guitars and such. DON’T SUPPORT GUITAR CENTER!

Also, if you’re a musician, check out the melodic minor scale. Then toggle between the 1rst and 5th modes of the melodic minor. In the 5th mode you get a bad-ass sounding minor sixth, which in conjunction with the major third sounds really middle-eastern and drony. Also, if you’re not into altered scales, try the third mode of the standard doe-re-me scale… which in C major would be E. It’s called the Phrygian mode. It’s the same as a minor scale ‘cept it’s got a minor second. This is probably the darkest/meatiest of the non-altered scales, in my opinion. I wrote this new song, which is in the key of C but really it’s in E Phrygian. It goes E minor (two counts) then F major (one count), G major (one count) back into E minor (two counts) into G major (one count), F major (one count) back into E minor (two counts), F major (one count), G major (one count), into A minor (hold).. it repeats that one more time and then there’s a second part which is pretty cool but I won’t write here.

OK! Work!

Have fun surfing all you healthy-bodied people! Enjoy!!!

Blacks Beach

Remember your circle of fifths

Right on, e - Avoid guitar center if you can. GC is the Walmart of musician's gear. Support your local mom and pop music shop.

Posted by: steve-o at July 27, 2004 10:15 AM

What's this about a remote control "shark"? I guess that's one way to thin the line up.

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 10:16 AM


It's Blakestah's new Remote Control "Fin" System.

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 10:18 AM

red tide tonight,
red tide tonight,

whoa ho, whoa ho,
whoa ho, ho, ho,.... ho, ho, ho, ho...

Posted by: cipollini at July 27, 2004 10:21 AM

Yeah, support your local mom and pop everything.

/rant/
That giant sucking sound you hear is all the cash being taken out of the local economy by big box stores like wal mart, target greatland, guitar center, safeway, etc and redistributing the cash to their management and exec staff whom all live and work in one centralized locale and do not spend money on anything in your town, while they pay minimum wage and refuse to provide decent benefits to workers.

while you and i might see lower figures at the register, the total cost of shopping at these places is transferred onto the local economy in other ways.

when people shop at a conglomerate big box store, everyone pays for it. if the money were going back into the local economy, this could be a good thing. but it ain't. walmart has to be one of the worst... they do shit like tell their suppliers " this is the wholesale price we will buy at, and if you can't meet it currently, we'll tell you how, and start with: outsourcing your manufacturing to our overseas partner in china." fuckin' evil, man..
/rant/


there is good surf out there today, somewhere.

Posted by: g at July 27, 2004 10:29 AM

well it ain't down here G.

Inhaled a doc on Howlin' Wolf last night. Dude could bring the blues. Very interesting.

wish i could throw a pic up here of him but i can't figure it out.....

Posted by: HermosA at July 27, 2004 10:36 AM

...It looks like Stumpy is having company over down in pacifica.

Posted by: shadow at July 27, 2004 10:37 AM

Does that mean we should not shop at big box retailers like WISE SURFBOARDS?

Posted by: chiapas_rebel at July 27, 2004 10:41 AM

word on the mom and pop rant...just got word the last farm back home got sold cuz the old man kicked the bucket and the kids sold out...bring on the cookie cutter homes....

that wasn't a shark, it was the fin on my 9'6 (kaiser knows what i'm talkin' aboot)

Posted by: j at July 27, 2004 10:43 AM

yo e- just jammed a little on your new song... cool progression, i especially like the classy Am finish. but i best keep studying the Handbook cause i couldn't follow all the mode speak. wheels like the circle of fifths always trip me out... just like the color wheel... turning a linear progression of wave lengths into a connecting circular design. of course there are infinte notes or colors in between steps on the circle, our breakdown is arbitrary. so is the place where red and blue meet (aka the land of purple) where the smaller wavelength fits perfectly into period of the larger one? can you have octaves of color?

um, with respect to surf talk, did you just call kelly slater a dark horse? boy that's going to get his competitive juices flowing.

Posted by: jake at July 27, 2004 10:45 AM

I knew a guy that had a Sun speaker cabinet with (4) 12 inch speaker I think but not certain. No amp built in. He used an inexpensive amp and pluggged it in to the cabinet. It sounded really good. And load.

Posted by: Dennis at July 27, 2004 10:50 AM

All you kelly slater fans must in their 20's? I never really got into his whole deal, mainly because:


A. He has a girl's name.
B. He's part of the cleanager crew.
C. The younger kids in high school who loved him all were kinda poseurs with the whole surfer look thing.
D. He's from Florida, Grandma Edith is from Florida.
E. The sundeck ads from the 80's
F. Tom Curran flows, kelly is a contest guy
G. Surfing started getting pretty g_y when he started coming around

Posted by: andreas at July 27, 2004 11:01 AM

it was pretty ugly out there, just 2 others out where we were. sharkbait even skipped it. (hello again ss!)

but it was pretty consistent and somehow good enough to get a feel for the RFS. here are some impressions: paddle felt fine, almost cruisy, even though the boards i rode were a good 2 inches skinnier than what i ride (and about the same length). the junk thwarted my efforts to make "turns" on all but a few waves, but when i did i got a distinct impression that initiating turns is much easier, requiring less dramatic shifting. that seemed to make it easy to make subtle little adjustments, which allowed me to manuever to the sweet spot on one wave and beat a section. i'll give another update on my impressions after a few more sessions...

Posted by: loon at July 27, 2004 11:07 AM

I had Sundek pants too.

Posted by: Ken Bradshaw at July 27, 2004 11:10 AM

Kelly Rules!

Posted by: Pamela Anderson at July 27, 2004 11:13 AM

E- Sorry 'bout the pitbull. I forgot to include Carnivorous Land Sharks on my East Bay Tirade last week. You've been spending some time on our side over the past few weeks...summer lovin had me a blast! Summer lovin happened so fast!!

I surfed north G Highway last nite. pretty Shrawlped up but had to go only to devirginize my new STICK. 6'10" Rawson..
ohhh billy billy billly billy
its like buttah baby, not no Parkay, not no margarine, Strictly Buttah.
Wow, I have been smiling for like 14 hours straight since that sesh. Looking forward to many more!

I love the Haters- Andreas? pretty close to a girls name yourself. I am sure Kelly would love to hear from you! Has anyone seen that Slater Youth footage? When he is destroying a waist high onshore Cocoa Beach special (lindy look alike) The guy got more Wave Face Time on that musher than I had all spring.
But keep hating. Must be hard to know the Best of the Best ALSO come from the East Coast.

TC is his own man as well and an incredible surfer to watch.

I guess its taboo to say Gay on the Blog as well.
Thanks for generalizing Surfing since 1987 for us, Andreas! Have another expresso and maybe start in on Watersports in General.
hate to think what you have to say about Laird!

Surf on y'all

Posted by: steama at July 27, 2004 11:20 AM

a couple of images that are pertinant for todays forum:

Posted by: bagel at July 27, 2004 11:22 AM

The whole Kelly crew took the characters out of surfing. It's like keeping up with Orange County AYSO soccer now. Kelly and Taylor scored a goal today, yay, go team! Damian Hobgood for the assist! Tyler and Taylor just got dropped off in mom's Suburban!

Posted by: lasagne at July 27, 2004 11:26 AM

.....speaking of Kelly, i noticed the outdoor life network(OLN) will be showing the Kelly Slater Invitiational wednesday night. Not sure how much of an interest this might be, kinda like rubbernecking at a train wreck. But i heard Cameron Diaz is in it and its at Tavarua in Fiji soooo....maybe worth a look.

Posted by: shadow at July 27, 2004 11:32 AM

Laird's da man. Don't make fun of my latino name, hater. Kelly's still a girls name. Florida is full of grannies and I'd rather watch golf then Kelly wag his hips back and forth in 1 foot coco beach.

Posted by: andreas at July 27, 2004 11:35 AM

I'm all for support the mom-and-pops. When I was a kid, my mom was the sole-proprieter of a bookstore that competed with Borders, Barnes and Noble, etc. and she had a really tough time with it. Long hours just to break even.

That said, Guitar Center in SF is one of the only music stores that I've ever been in where the staff aren't complete and total dickweeds. I live around the corner from the Haight-Ashbury Music Center (not that they are really mom-and-pop) and not only are they expensive but I don't think I've ever been in there when I didn't leave completely frustrated with the awful service. This holds true for the majority of music shops that I've been in. I'd rather give my money to a nice and helpful mega-company and than a mom-and-pop that makes it painful to even enter their shop. I guess I need to check out Panhandle Guitar; sounds like the best of both worlds.

Shredded the half-inch windswell of a lake in the middle of Michigan this morning. Working from the third coast for the next two weeks...

Posted by: mwsf at July 27, 2004 11:35 AM

Panhandle Guitar is where it's at. Robert (the owner) is super cool. He lives a few doors down from me and I always buy everything I need from his shop. I actually tried out a Super Reverb there a few years ago and it was nice, but the tolex was beat to shit as was most everything else. Sounded good though. I noticed Robert has a couple Traynor amps in there this last weekend, those look pretty tight as well.

Robert is a good cat, support his tiny shop if you can.

Never buy from GC unless you know exactly what you are getting and it isn't a guitar.

Posted by: kookdom at July 27, 2004 11:35 AM

Sad day when the TDF ends and now have flea and kelly on OLN.

Posted by: andreas at July 27, 2004 11:37 AM

E, what's this Remote Control shark stuff? Fill me in cause I was out there right when all of that happened.

Posted by: kookdom at July 27, 2004 11:38 AM

Andreas, do you surf or just watch OLN?

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at July 27, 2004 11:44 AM

I know a German chick called Andreas. But she's pretty cool.....

Posted by: limevoodoo at July 27, 2004 11:50 AM

......id love to see that stance at Cloudbreak

Posted by: shadow at July 27, 2004 11:53 AM

Worrying about the G--ness of Surfing (?) but denied watching Kelly "wagging hips back and forth" for a sport with sticks, balls and holes......... Any Shrinks out there?

Haters beware! The landlord knows who you are!

Posted by: steama at July 27, 2004 11:53 AM

Any of you old guys or rich yuppies want to kick in a few bucks with me and help pay for E's new amp? Figure it's time we did something for our favorite new age hippie rock/surf star who gets us through our work day.

Posted by: Lizard Bruce at July 27, 2004 11:59 AM

That's my sister Andrea not Andreas. It's like the diferance between Roberta and Roberto. Quit making fun of us mexicans! Kelly is a girl's name. Tyler and Taylor are the yuppie names of the year for 1978. I watch OLN then surf during the Giro di Italia or TDF, that's spring and summer. When kelly or flea are on I watch the golf channel on 82, then surf. WTF are these questions? Go play kelly slaters pro surfer game for playstation 2 if you love him so much.

Posted by: andreas at July 27, 2004 11:59 AM

yeah.. why are y'all so harsh on Andreas? I thought his "cleanager" remark was pretty funny.

I wish Kelly puffed a little more ganj.. But.. regarless.. i love his surf style.. balls-out aggression.. but still smooth and fluid. Super athletic. I think he's pretty humble too, considering the 6 world titles or whatever.

Tom Curren is definitely the man.. but.. i'm a Kelly fan, especially when it's Kelly or Andy!

Posted by: e at July 27, 2004 12:03 PM

...isnt Cameron a guys name?

Posted by: shadow at July 27, 2004 12:04 PM

Bruce.. you're too kind, homie!! But.. please.. i've been saving for months. I think i can squeak this Amp purchase out. Might not be able to afford lunch for the next two months.. but.. at least i'll be able to get the mutha fuckin' Led out!!

Posted by: e at July 27, 2004 12:06 PM

oh shit. just got that "cleanager" bit- i can be thick at times.......that is funny!
Does anyone know if Windows XP can take Kelly's vid game? :)
its all love and jest and for the record: I love all Mexicans! Peace para el mundo!

Posted by: steama at July 27, 2004 12:15 PM

E, BS- Some of peeps on this blog wring that much out of their ties. Pony up, fat cats!

I'll contact the Panhandle Geeetar shop and have them set up a little account. Da' peeps send a check to the shop and let me know via email the date and amount. I'll put together a little spreadsheet and provide it to the E to make sure $$$ ended up where it was supposed to. I LOVE A GOOD CONSPIRACY!

Your contribution, Ethan, will be eventually create an WAV file so we can download the inspectors or some solo stuff. . . of course you have to use the new amp.

Posted by: Bruce at July 27, 2004 12:18 PM

Yeah don't make fun of my name. My family come here work hard to put food on your table. While you do what? Surfing? I never can afford a surfboard until my uncle playes baseball.

Posted by: andreas at July 27, 2004 12:24 PM

blacks anyone? next south?
sheet afternoon glass and trunks. yikes.

ba-geel im going for a surf, but will call ring you when thats done with. aight!

Posted by: elias at July 27, 2004 12:28 PM


Erwin Wurm
One Minute Sculpture 1997
C-print, 17 11/16 x 11 13/16"


Erwin Wurm
Fat Car 2001

Posted by: cadaver at July 27, 2004 12:31 PM

that fat car is rad!

Posted by: e at July 27, 2004 12:34 PM

Thanks for the shark sighting details! I read it this morning just after getting back from . . . surfing in precisely that spot. I'm pretty myopic, so for all I know there were sharks all around me, but at least they didn't drop in on me or anything. Very windy, but sideshore, big enough to ride, a mix of close-outs and lefts. I got a handful of fun little rides on the shortboard, plus the usual generous serving of humble pie.

Posted by: Klooless at July 27, 2004 12:37 PM

e buys the amp, let's have a booze and dope fund instead

kaiser, you still have that paypal acct setup?

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 12:38 PM

well.. the booze, dope and amplifier could all possibly come to a head in the Fall if we/I can get this party rolling. Reality Check.. i checked out Milk and it looks pretty dope.. might be perfect. maybe on a thursday night in October or early November??

Lerm - if you're reading.. thought that maybe your band could share the lineup with us?? Then maybe one more band? Some surfy-style music?? hmm...

also Kaiser.. get your super-8 shit ready..

anyone have thoughts?

Posted by: e at July 27, 2004 12:49 PM

hey peeps, how about a Niceness Invitational surf contest?

Posted by: Kelly Slater at July 27, 2004 01:01 PM

E- How many Nicenessheadz might show? Milk is pretty small but a cool spot- and close to the beach!

Posted by: steama at July 27, 2004 01:02 PM

That party idea sounds like a good one. Is that the 'Milk' across from Amoeba? If not and it ends up in a space without a bar, I'd be happy to brew up a couple five-gallon kegs of beer for it. And good call on a Thursday--too much stuff going on weekends...

Posted by: mwsf at July 27, 2004 01:06 PM

elias, nice..my car broke today but its getting fixed now..hopefully it will be done before tonight..anyway, hollar..

ill pitch in to the beer and dope fund..milk sounds mellow..i saw my brothers death metal band there..hacksaw to the throat..

Posted by: bagel at July 27, 2004 01:14 PM

Kelly is an amazing surfer. My generation grew up in awe of TC instead though. The first really dominant thruster pro surfer.

BTW, loon got a chance to ride on one of my funky home-made fins this morning, and he hardly noticed

WRT Mom and Pops against big chains - I'm in there 110%. But don't lump WISE in with them. Bob is an aggressive savvy businessman. But, he takes care of his people. I dunno if you've looked in there lately, but if you had you would notice at least two of his employees have been with him for over a decade. And, mostly, they stay there for years at a time.

My big beef with the big chains is they erode the American Middle Class. All the dough is held at the top, and the chain is managed by farming it all out to unskilled or foreign labor. The US employees are minimum wage, or management, and nothing in between. It's class warfare. Potentially relevant is the book "Fast Food Nation" which discusses this trend in the restaurant industry.

I wouldn't lump Bob in with them - he's good to his people.

Posted by: blakestah at July 27, 2004 01:17 PM

yo, i don't really hate kelly, he's a phreak and no one else can pull some of the stuff he does, but on ganj, he did say something like "i tried it once, and it just made me cough, i don't see why someone would do that to themselves." even my bro who's going to play pro ball in denmark next year who has asthma has sessioned with us and liked it. now that joel tudor, he's a head. so i'm going to come out with some props for andy... kelly's character may be much deeper, but when it comes to surfing, for sheer power and radicalness, AI rips! of all the guys in momentum: under the influence, the irons brothers' segments are my favorite (besides those nutty tubes someone gets, maybe ben b.? the ones that last 300 yards). fast, fluid, and powerful.

Posted by: jake at July 27, 2004 01:23 PM

Loon! Good grief, I didn't recognize you w/out the hood - and when briefly introduced I heard your name as "Moon". Was thinking, " Huh, who is this 'Moon' guy? Gah! Well nice meeting you again. Jeezuz apologies I'm a dork. My next hearing test isn't until spring. :)

OB wasn't nearly too hideous for me to surf, but I slept through my alarm. Parking lot finger kept me up last night. Now I'm out of town to have it checked out. Forget sharks, keep an eye on the red triangle parking lots! Even the most loyal wetsuits are known to stalk and attack their owners. Beware.

.

Happy surfing,

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at July 27, 2004 01:28 PM


Posted by: howlin' wolf at July 27, 2004 01:30 PM

haha

Posted by: bbr at July 27, 2004 01:31 PM

Wise was OK when it was low key out on Manuel street, but talk about sell out. I was out of town the years when they moved. Came back and said oh shit it's Huntington Beach or that kooky stretch of coast near Tokyo that's always flat.

Posted by: chiapas_rebel at July 27, 2004 01:45 PM

I disagree with the Wise slamming. They are just as helpful and nice as they were in the old days (old locale), but with a bigger, newer place. I bought a Wil Jobson from there back in 1990 from the same guy that works there today. They had success on their own. They didn't sell-out to anybody. They sold equipment and moved to a bigger better spot. Why should that bring about negativity?

Posted by: Jack at July 27, 2004 02:02 PM

Uhh.. because the Southern California / Tokyo surf scene sucks?

Posted by: chiapas_rebel at July 27, 2004 02:05 PM

I mean good on them for growing the business, I'm sure they are nice and helpful, uhemm...$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, but the southern californification of OB was quite a shock upon return. The place is like a nordstroms, I feel out of place within 10 miles of it.

Posted by: chiapas_rebel at July 27, 2004 02:08 PM

so cal rules!

Posted by: bagel at July 27, 2004 02:22 PM

I'm tired of going to surf shops and finding size 8 and size 12 booties. At least Wise keeps up a good stock of stuff. I think it's O'Neil's that has turned into Nordie's clothing. If it were not for those dope wetsuits and the holiday sales. . .

Posted by: Bruce at July 27, 2004 02:25 PM

CR, OB hasn't really changed except for a fallen down windmill, the Beach Chalet, and a couple of fixed up houses. and more surfers, of course. you ever ask Bob W. why he moved? where's the sellout? selling out to whom? what's wrong with making some $?

unless your trust-a-fari, then what's the big deal? you're saying they ruined the beach? what's the OB scene look like to you?

Posted by: cc at July 27, 2004 02:27 PM

I'd say that is representative of a general distaste for the business-end and/or commodification of surfing. Associating WISE with that may be fair in some regards as it is a grown, successful bidness, as is, say -- HSS. But from what I can tell the similarities end there.

Tend to agree with this in principal. My ideal surf "shop" is one big room with enough space to lay gear out, selling no new boards (just has a few new ones around as samples of various shapers' work), and a smaller room with a couple couches and a tv for running flicks. People hang out, come in to check gear out, and selling stuff is somewhat secondary. SF Surf Shop is as close to that as I've found in the area.

Possibly the coolest "shop" I've been in is 360 at Zicatela, but that's a long ways away and a whole different scene.

I still like Freeline too, probably for somewhat irrational reasons -- John Mel shaped my first custom stick and it was a turning-point board for me, which I learned a lot on.


Posted by: g at July 27, 2004 02:29 PM

Today's surf looks bad even in "JerseyVision" -- that rose-tinted midsummer delusion when tiny calf-slapping wind swell starts to look fun.

Thanks for the troglodytic entry, Andreas.

1 more month and O.Beast roars back to life.

Yerba Buena "Beautiful Losers" review:
"It was ah-ight, too many uncalled-for penis and vagina shots, it got boring after a while. Like uh yeah, I get it, the subculture is badass and we make amateur porn and call it art. Nice."

Boo HISS on the Metropolis.

-MONKEY BUTTER

Posted by: Onanistic Bonobo at July 27, 2004 02:35 PM

feel free to leave again then chapas. comparing wise to walmart is beyond stupid.

Posted by: eric at July 27, 2004 02:38 PM

that old bitty on the yellow and red striped board would be diving for some serious pearls..

oh and jake, i gues you have to smoke that "ganj" to be "kewl" huh? yeah, anyone who doesn't like the "ganj" sure is a "square" and really un"kewl"...

Posted by: thedonk at July 27, 2004 02:40 PM

if you own a surf shop how can selling stuff be somewhat secondary if you want to have a business? i mean, yeah, it's real kool to have a hangout joint and lollygag around, but what if you want to actually succeed?

Posted by: thedonk at July 27, 2004 02:44 PM

I'm sure Wise expected every criticism before hand. The dot com boom kind of numbed the sores though. This is a place where locals used to give Richard Schmidt schidt for getting into mags back in the day.

Posted by: lancaster at July 27, 2004 02:45 PM

1.) It is ok for a Man to cry under the following circumstances:

- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
- The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
- After wrecking your boss' car.
- One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
- When she is using her teeth.


2.) Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.


3.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.


4.) If you've known a Man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.


5.) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.


6.) No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another Man. In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.


7.) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


8.) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.


9.) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.


10.) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another Man in the nuts.


11.) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


12.) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.


13.) If a Man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.


14.) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.


15.) A Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.


16.) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.


17.) If you compliment a Man on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.


18.) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.


19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Man while lifting weights:

- Yeah, Baby, Push it!
- C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
- Another set and we can hit the showers!


20.) Never talk to a Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.


21.) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.


22.) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.


23.) There is no reason for guys to watch Men's Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.


24.) When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.


25.) You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call 'BULL######!'.
Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.


26.) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.


27.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.


28.) Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.


29.) The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.


30.) A Man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.


31.) When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.


32.) If a buddy is out-numbered, out-Manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin.", then you may sit back and enjoy.


33.) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.


34.) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.


35.) When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either.


36.) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "###### OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.


37.) Never, EVER slap or smack another Man.


Posted by: at July 27, 2004 02:45 PM

What the f_ck does troglodytic mean? Dude, I don't got no PHD.

Posted by: andreas at July 27, 2004 02:47 PM

donk,

You are correct sir. I don't include being profitable in my definition of success. I'm a dirty socialist. My ideals are just ideals, and are unlikely to survive exposure to a free market. Thus the Bob Wise's of the realm are successful shop owners, while I am the successful owner of a handful of surf boards, a few wetsuits, a repair stand and some sexwax my dog chewed up.


Posted by: g at July 27, 2004 03:01 PM

\TROG-luh-dyt\, noun: 1. A member of a primitive people that lived in caves, dens, or holes; a cave dweller. 2. One who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish.

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 03:03 PM

be thankful you got well stocked shops here, and don't hate on the guys who did well in a small shop and moved into a bigger locale to offer you the consumer more selection (and yes, with retail luck more rev/profit back to the owner's pocket) if you're going to a shop that's able to put selling gear on the backburner to just having people come hang out and watch videos....then odds are it's ran by the same trustafarians you're hating on - not sure if you checked rents in the bay lately, but they aren't giving away retail space (altho compared to 1999-2001 prices it feels like that)

back home there are only a fraction of the shops around here, and a small range of sizes in each as they can't stock all the 'odd' sizes and stay in business, pain in the ass if you're 6'4 and only 205 lbs or some other goofy size.

anyways, when is september again?

Posted by: j at July 27, 2004 03:04 PM

Back to our regularly schedueled programming:
"A wave came crashing like a fist to the jaw
Delivered him wings, "Hey, look at me now"
Arms wide open with the sea as his floor
Oh, power, oh

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at July 27, 2004 03:17 PM

35 days

Posted by: blakestah at July 27, 2004 03:35 PM

I can just see all the linda mar regulars taking off the Wise pads of their racks, cuz it ain't kewl no mo'. Shit, that guys going to retire tight with all those pad sales.

Myself, I get my boards off crankheads on the north shore and every 2 years get a wetsuit at O'neill. No need for anything else surf related.. Oh yeah, wax in various parking lots.

Posted by: maytag at July 27, 2004 03:38 PM

Some of the Wise guys give off the bad-vibes. One thirty-something dark-haired guy that drives a white-suburu and is always checking second-lot sloat once basically yelled at me for not purchasing Searching For Tom Curren. Which.. in hind-site.. might have been the right call because i think i was purchasing "Lost at Sea" or something instead. But Bob Wise has been pretty chill to me. He's also been through some hellish health issues, or so I'm told. soo.. maybe he should be cut some slack.

I would much rather support Aqua or SF but the only thing i buy at surf shops other than wax, leashes and booties (which i buy at aqua and sf) are wetties.. and the only wetties that fit me well are O'neil.. and the only place that carries O'neil in SF is Wise. hmmm...

I've heard that some shady shit has gone down between Wise and Aqua.. but... I don't know the full story.

Posted by: e at July 27, 2004 03:50 PM

oh yeah.. Peace Orchestra busts out the soulful, groovy ambiance if you like trippy, non-digital, futuristic downtempo type shit.

Posted by: e at July 27, 2004 03:52 PM

Just got a call from both Wise and Kelly Slater's Lawyers telling me to cease and decist with the slander!

Posted by: oh shit at July 27, 2004 04:02 PM

greets to the peeps out there in the land of
ones and zeroes.....elias? great session. good to
get wet. nice lippers on the moose.

there IS some surf to be had...go south.
it ain't epic but it beats almost everything else
i can think of doing on a foggy tuesday....
oh yeah and the fog ends at the city limits.


wise....aqua....sf surf....as digital underground says...
"do whatcha like."

Posted by: korewin at July 27, 2004 04:07 PM

homophobia is lame. two guys under one umbrella is hot. the thought of it makes me want to date one of you troglodytes again.

Posted by: steamwand at July 27, 2004 04:09 PM

hey all

any report on whether there is red tide going in SMC?
I'm totally allergic.
thanks

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 04:15 PM

Aqua opened up at the only place in town carrying Channel Islands Surfboards. And, with the poor selection at SF Surf, the place to get XCel wetties.

Wise, a year later, has twice as many XCel wetties and Channel Islands Surfboards as Aqua.

Like I said, Bob Wise is an aggressive businessman.

Posted by: blakestah at July 27, 2004 04:20 PM

my favorite shop was glen kennedy's on ventura. i saw TC shopping there once

Posted by: bagel at July 27, 2004 04:32 PM

jimmy cracked corn and i don't care

Posted by: kurt at July 27, 2004 04:33 PM

yeah but wise has more pretty pictures in the windows. i like pretty pictures.

Posted by: luke at July 27, 2004 04:33 PM

Bring back Gumby!

Posted by: John at July 27, 2004 04:36 PM

I surfed a SMC beach late Thursday afternoon and there was some reddish/rust colored stuff in the water. I don't know if it was red tide or indications that the landlord had just had dinner.

Posted by: steve-o at July 27, 2004 04:36 PM

Wise is local....beat it trannies.

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 04:37 PM

my favorite shop was hackenbushes back in the day. that's where i got my first freestyle bike, a general r.l. osborn model. i really wanted a skyway street styler cuz matt hoffman was the shit in my young eyes (well, even in my old eyes now the dude is still the shit), but they only carried generals and some waaaay overpriced GTs and dynos. actually, they may have carried a few haros, too, but they didn't have the fold up pegs on the forks. in hindsight i probably should have gone with the haro, but the split top tube on the general was nice for doing framestands. i think i liked the odyssey gyro's more than i liked the ACS rotors. oh yeah, i had mag wheels, they sucked cuz brakes didn't grab as well.

this has nothing to do with surfing, but fuck it nothing else does around here anymore.

Posted by: j at July 27, 2004 04:37 PM

nice one john, gumby's out trollin' for chicks or sumthin

Posted by: kurt at July 27, 2004 04:39 PM

i had the hutch pro star. f'n ripped on that thing. remember greg hill, and who was that stewart dude that rode redline?

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 04:45 PM

ooooh

ahhhh

ooooooooo

Posted by: j at July 27, 2004 04:50 PM

Dude, PK Ripper's were my thing. When I would roll down to the eastside 7-11 and play Donkey Kong with my homies, everyone would turn their head at the Landing Gear forks. They were dope.

$5.00 got you 4 hours of Donkey Kong, a bag of BBQ CornNuts and a Cherry Slurpee.

Them were the days! PK Rippa forever!

E-A-S-T-S-I-D-E

I wanna see Gumby!

Posted by: Ronnie From Norcal at July 27, 2004 04:52 PM

1. Wise was on Vicente. So much for chiapas_rebel"s cred.

2. I think Big Yank carried CI before Aqua.

3. I'm just pissed that Wise shut down the DOA before I had a pic of me on a qualifying wave. Would like a copy of the "before" version of the Great Hwy he has as part of the DOA display.

4. Good on ya e for getting a new amp. CRANK IT! The little back and forth actually got me to plug in the 130 watt Music Man and restring the 335. Amp is in need of repair though so I'm sticking with my Fender Super 60 for now. I'm in serious need of practice. SCALES ANYONE?

4. RED TIDE ALERT!

Posted by: kdalle at July 27, 2004 04:54 PM

http://www.bmxmuseum.com/4images80s/hutchprostar.jpg still don't know how to post a picture, but here's what I'm talkin about.

Posted by: at July 27, 2004 04:57 PM

Kelly slater and wise had an affair. Hence the Channel Islands deal.

Posted by: bmx_ican at July 27, 2004 05:02 PM

Shit, I don't know, I haven't been in a surf shop in over a year.

Memorizing street names? It was on one of those streets that look the same going east-west.

Posted by: chiapas_rebel at July 27, 2004 05:05 PM

check dude on scooter

this was one of my favorite issues, with hoffman on the cover nonetheless. i think this was after he'd busted his leg?

check eddie fiola in the fullpipe!

Posted by: j at July 27, 2004 05:12 PM

how do you post a picture??

Posted by: blank at July 27, 2004 05:13 PM

slater banged pam anderson - nuff said

Posted by: caveman at July 27, 2004 05:14 PM

I was jealous of all the dudes with the Hutch pro trickstars and the Haro's and the Redlines and Dyno Comp's.. I had a Huffy!!! Some of the kids in my neighborhood ripped!! Freestyle bmx is awesome.

Kdalle. nice that you're playing again! right on! In the last 8 years of my life, playing music has given more than anything else. When i'm depressed or happy or injured or weirded or bored or inspired or whatever, playing music is shit. Both footbag and surfing have taught me that it's tough to have a passion that relies on the body. Music cuts right to the mind and allows for personal expression that's unfettered by the limitations of the body.

nice on the es 335.. that's what i play.. 1972..

I can recommend some good scales to jam on.. if you're serious? also.. this book is the bomb. It's got loads of cool and easy to follow music theory info as well as techy guitar/amp info as well as music history, interviews, etc.. check it out if you don't already have it.

Posted by: e at July 27, 2004 05:16 PM

question to all cuz my mind is wandering and it's been a long week:

if you didn't have to worry about paying your mortgage, student loans, mom's surgery, whatever other short/long term debt you have what job would you choose to do?

Posted by: j at July 27, 2004 05:37 PM



Posted by: cipollini at July 27, 2004 05:41 PM

Wise was in the Finnegan story, so I always feel like he earned his keep in the SF surf scence there. He's the Safeway of surf shops: big, but still local (remember Safeway is centered in Fremont, unlike those jackwads from Boise at Albertson's).

SF surf shop does have what amounts to be a library of back issues of old surfing magazines.

Pt. Reyes surf shop just opened. The guy doesn't have many boards or wetsuits, but he does have the TV set up with the couches. The owner was really nice, although I suspect he was just excited to see a customer (although I was clearly in the midst of a bike ride and wasn't going to buy anything). It's only been around for a few months, and it's odds of prospering don't look good unless he pulls in the tourist dollars selling sunglasses and boardshorts. He also had one of the motorized surf boards.

I suppose my last question is what depth water were these shark sightings in? If you can touch the bottom with your face above water, you're allowed to call out "Olly-olly oxenfree" and the sharks can't get you because you are technically on land and not in the ocean anymore.

Posted by: Andrew on 44th at July 27, 2004 05:49 PM

CIPO!

Posted by: cipollini at July 27, 2004 06:03 PM

mi stem di bicicletta

Posted by: cipollini at July 27, 2004 06:05 PM

kdalle - I may try to resurrect the DOA board. I gotta talk with Dave - he's saved all the pics. I wanna offer to scan up and give em a home on the web.

Plus, nothing more exciting than a buncha claimers trying to figure out if a pic has them or not.

I carried about half those surf mags into SF Surf - they were donated by a longtime local longboarder named Jim Holt.

There's no question Wise earned his place here - he pre-dates just about everyone! He opened in the late 60s on Wawona, and he personally shaped boards for sale for about 5 years. Dave Alexander and Domond Lee also shaped - PeeWee glassed. Eventually Bob saw the light and went retailer instead of producer. When I came here in 96 Bob was still on Vicente, and it was Wise and SF Surfshop and End of the Line on Taraval. SF Surfshop was then, and still is, about custom boards. End of the Line was a failed retailer whose salesmen were always stoned. Wise was much the same as it is now - good customer service, informative employees, and the best selection within driving distance. Bob has done me right many times, as have his employees.

The legendary thing at WISE on Vicente was the DOA board. According to Domond, he got tired of all the claimers coming in and talking about how large the waves were that people rode, so he started the DOA board, and was initially the sole judge. DOA stood for "Double Overhead Association". You had to bring in a pic of you on a wave, and Domond had to say it was "Double Overhead" or larger. Then, it went up on the board. The board had an amazing number of amazing surfing photos, and many many surfers in town spent a long time staring from photo to photo - finding the smallest one, wondering if they could handle that wave, wondering if they could someday "make the board". When WISE moved to VFWs, the pics went in a box, and never got placed up on the wall again. I asked Dave about it, and he said it just was a low priority to set it up again, and he had all the pics in a box.

Posted by: blakestah at July 27, 2004 08:01 PM

Any relationship between Aqua in SF and Aqua Culture Surf Shop in HMB??? Or did Aqua SF just copy Aqua HMB??????????

Posted by: big bad bill at July 28, 2004 07:56 AM

Any relationship between Aqua in SF and Aqua Culture Surf Shop in HMB??? Or did Aqua SF just copy Aqua HMB??????????

Posted by: big bad bill at July 28, 2004 07:56 AM

I doubt half the folks here even know what aqua culture was.

Aqua Culture is the same thing as HMB now. I think they did a stint up at OB, since the owner likes it up there. Then they sold it or broke apart.

Remember when Aqua Culture was in that old victorian building? That was frickin cool, before the Mavericks hype days. Actually Darren pretty much started it all with the cover shot and was part of the original crew.

Posted by: key-low at July 28, 2004 08:20 AM

How about Miramar? And all the Thai-stick that used to flow through here?

Funny, Thai-stick would be shit compared to what we have now.

Posted by: key-low at July 28, 2004 08:23 AM

That Victorian was the Alves House. Alves are a famous family line in old school HMB. Darin was cool. Dude spent all afternoon with me in like '86 or '87 going over the measurements for my first and only custom MB.... I loved that thing..... Was to young for the Thai-stick but always thought something was up........

Posted by: frances state at July 28, 2004 08:33 AM

HMB not to long ago:

then the yuppies moved in dot com style:

Posted by: at July 28, 2004 08:50 AM

anonymous bro,

that is a picture of the ritz carlton hotel and golf course.

the former is frequented not by dot-com asshats, but rather politicos and retirees.

the latter is frequented not by dot-com asshats, but rather, local residents who don't seem to give much of a shit about the fact that they have a golf course along their coast which doesn't use recycled water.

the hmb city council by the way just approved the wavecrest development project. you talk about yuppies and dot-com folks, when it is your own long-time local residents on the city council who are selling the region out. you know who oscar braun is, man? any idea how much that one guy -- as a local landowner -- has done to PREVENT preservation and conservation in the area? sheit. "dot-coms" ain't got NOTHIN' to do with it.

try getting your news from a local newspaper instead of surfermag, man.


Posted by: elf at July 28, 2004 09:15 AM

That was not very niceness. In fact I was just tryin to get a few goats.. Sorry if I raised a few blood pressures. No insults intended to the bloggers. The ultimate is am sesh @ ob, clean offshores till your arms give out, lunch and 18 holes, pm sesh back at the beach. The ultimate day when you throw in some late night lovin'

respects

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