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Arose with the sun, stretched, drove to a few spots, got thoroughly denied, drove home. When I walked in my front door i noticed an envelope slipped through the mail slot. Written on the front, in old-style calligraphy were the words, "A plead." Perplexed, i walked through my yard, put down my board and wetsuit and went inside to open and read the letter. The letter had a threadbare, weathered look to it, as if it had travelled through great distances and many hands. As i took a closer look at the calligraphy on the front it reminded me of the penmenship used by 13th century British monks who copied bibles in monastaries on the Isles of Scilly and Man (I studied religious history in school). I carefully opened the envelope and removed the ancient-looking folded parchment inside. Right before i put the envelope down i noticed a dash of color inside. Upon closer inspection i perceived what looked like a small wooden flower. I pulled it out and was awestruck by the exquisite and precise craftmanship of the multicolored, intricate wooden pendent. But.. i wasn't sure exactly what it was. I unfolded the note. A long message was written in the same old-style penmanship. The old-english dialect was difficult for me to decipher but luckily my many late-nights spent researching the first english-language periodicals in the rare-books collections of my university library finally paid off with some practical use.

The gist of the letter is as follows (forgive the modern colloquialisms used by yours truly)
"Hello my friend. Hopefully this letter has found you in good staid. My compatiates and i reach out to you as a final, desperate hope. You do not know us, and this may seem far-fetched, but we are close friends with an ancestor of yours. The great Marmaluke Dohefdron, your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather was a model gentleman of courageous spirit and outlandish daring. He led us on a quest to find a hidden island off the shores of NW Africa. This island, he informed us, was filled with great tropical beauty and abundance. He told us how the legend of this island had passed through many generations of your family. This mythical place is said to be blessed with entrancing, fresh-water lagoons filled with thick, scrumptious fish. The palm-filled jungles filled with fruits and vegetables in abundance. The island is supposedly sparcely populated with a beautiful people with a strange genetic mutation. This mutation results in there being 4 women to every man. The island is also ringed with colorful coral reef that sculps the breaking waves into seductive, mesmerizing, tapering lines. These waves, according to Marmaluke, are one of the only drawback of the island as they pose a serious threat to any wayward sailer or swimmer, and i can't imagine how they could bring any good to a human soul. There is also something very unusual and special about this island. It seems that an ancient ancestor of yours, by the name of Barhedral Zaharzabo, was a powerful sorcerer of Northern Africa in the times before the great civilizations of man spread throughout the Mediterranean lands. This Barhedral settled his family on the island and cast an incantation that clouded the island in a sheath of invisibility. no human eye could penetrate this shield, making the island all but invisible. To this day no modern man has found the island, thanks to the incantation of Zaharzabo. Marmaluke has asked us to ensure that one of his kin receives the Flower of Zibe. Alongside this message you should have received a multi-colored wooden flower. This magical token was constructed by Barhedral himself and is the key to unlocking the sheath of invisibility around the island. Only a genetic decendent of the great wizard can use the key and find the island. The key itself is a puzzle of sorts and we wish you success in unlocking its ability. Many have tried over the eons and all have failed. We wish you luck

- (signed) Brothers of the Amalgamation

... to be continued

Zaharzabo's land

the hidden Isle of Barhedral

paddled around sunday at a place called the p*c*f*c *c**n. good God the water is cold right now!

Posted by: j at June 7, 2004 10:14 AM

Just returned from an awesome surf trip to El Salvador.

FYI: Taca airlines charges $25 per board. But the second board is an extra $100 - what a rip-off! My buddy (accidentally & stupidly) told them he had two boards in his one board bag, totaling $125. I had two boards in one bag, but I said there was only one board and they didn't even check, so I only paid $25 total.

Moral of the story: tell them that you only have one board!

Also, ask for the SECOND row of emergency exit row seats...lots of leg room to stretch out. The FIRST row of emergency exit row seats DO NOT recline back for sleep/snoozing.

How was that south swell up here? It was almost 2x overhead on Wednesday/Thursday in El Sal with like 20-wave sets.

Good luck with summer surf trips!

Posted by: SC Tranny in SF at June 7, 2004 10:39 AM

huevos rancheros?

our little stretch of beach looks nothing like the beach it was in april... well, at least the little blue jellies are gone.

e- have you been reading the daVinci code and listening to the amalgamated sons of rest? lots of simaler threads... bloodlines, puzzles, the word amagamation... maybe im just streching and board cause i havn't surfed lately and my skateboard broke.

trying to get a little trip to c america in late july... anyone been to panama? tips, hints?

aight - peace

Posted by: elias at June 7, 2004 10:45 AM

never read the DaVinci code.. but.. i like Umberto Eco.

Posted by: e at June 7, 2004 10:47 AM

umberto... looks good. maybe i'll have to pick one of his up.
DaVanci is a decent read.

better stop this before we change e's surf report into e's commentary on literature page...

Posted by: elias at June 7, 2004 10:56 AM

Mali? Jenna? Timbuktu? E's lost world. My last week of work until September. Gee, I'm going to miss summer in SF..... darn.

Posted by: mexisurf at June 7, 2004 10:57 AM

I've seen a couple favorite author threads here So.. Has anybody ever enjoyed Cormac Macarthy (Sp?)? That guy can write. My favorite author.

Just read the DaVinci Code ....it's like doing a line of coke. It's way too easy to do, there's not a lot of danger in it, and the buzz doesn't last that long. But it is pretty fun!


Posted by: Jack at June 7, 2004 10:59 AM

Umberto! Foucoult's Pendulum is the BOMB. I started reading the Island of the Day before and enjoyed it for the first half or so, but got bogged down and gave it up about 4/5ths of the way through.

Tried to read The Name of the Rose with the Key, and then realized it was much more enjoyable to just read the text and not try to figure out what the papal bull was all about.

Posted by: Friend #1 at June 7, 2004 11:01 AM

E, how'd you take those pics, I thought it was invisable? Haaaa....

Damn this weather! Clean, crisp, clear days with never ending winds. Gotta love SF in summer. I did get a wee bit of surfing in over the weekend. Friday afternoon at our local surf playground: winds were SW so a little protected. Saturday morning: got a few fun waves somewhere I can't talk about. Saturday afternoon: witnessed a wedding taking place at the north end of Lindy in the dreary fog. Gotta give it up to those folks for braving the elements. But, couldn't help but to question the planning on that one.

Highlight of the weekend might have been scoring Morning of the Earth on DVD.

Mexisurf, I am jealous that you will be traveling to distant lands for the next 3 months. Solid!

Posted by: Kaiser at June 7, 2004 11:07 AM

an island ringed with perfect-wave-producing coral reefs...fresh lagoons for post sesh rinses...and 4 beautiful wahines for every guy? sign me up. oh, yeah...damn that blood-line thing! shiet. oh, well...guess i'll have to live vicariously! enjoy, e.

as for more local exploits...utility, but surprising fun seshies this weekend. on Sat with Kaiser and my lady. on Sun with my lady and my buddy Alex to commence his b-day celebs! imho...key to happiness in the spring/summer = low expectations and good friends in the line up.

Posted by: ck at June 7, 2004 11:07 AM

Miramar Surf Shop rules!!!!!!!!

Aqua Culture Kick Ass!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Big Daddy at June 7, 2004 11:26 AM

e, sweet. i know where we are going for our next surf trip.

DaVinci is next on my list. i just got through reading the dogs of winter.

is this the worst sf surf summer or what? sounds like a trip south or as ck said lower your expectations and a surf with good company.

good luck to ya mexisurf.

Posted by: lerm at June 7, 2004 11:50 AM

oh yeah, speaking of el salvador, i watched the far shore this weekend. very inspirational.

Posted by: lerm at June 7, 2004 11:53 AM

e - great report. Thanks for sharing the news with us mortals - but are you sure that these Brothers of the Amalgamation are "On the Level / On the Square"?

Ain't surfed in over a week - I'm gettin' ready to BITE somebody!

Posted by: Jimmie at June 7, 2004 11:59 AM

I think we've had a number of above average surf summers, recently.

I can recall some pretty dismal years, onshore but no windswell consistently. It's summer, deal with it, drive south, or do something else.

Posted by: blakestah at June 7, 2004 12:02 PM

everyday i walk outside WHITECAPS WHITECAPS WHITECAPS!! that a sneak prieview of my preformance art peice ill be doing somewhere soon..


trailer for riding giants..looks ok..probaly will be good..but i dont like when the big money shot for one of these big budget surf movies is some dude doing a strapped in flyaway kick out..blache..will someone please make a good surf documentary..blue horizon is the closest so far in my oppinion..

Posted by: bagel at June 7, 2004 12:05 PM

may was horrible was don't you remember how fun april was?

san mateo county was cracking on saturday. looks like we're in for a little more lovin' late this week.

Posted by: bbr at June 7, 2004 12:05 PM

Hey Wrestler,

I hope you enjoyed your solo session at S*** **ll*r cause now there's likely to be at least a dozen other heads looking to score there next weekend.
Why do people feel the need to post when they score at a remote break? If you truly cherish the experience, why broadcast it all over the interweb?
If you must, PLEASE keep it vague! I scored solo on the south this weekend, but in hopes of a repeat session I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Posted by: boner at June 7, 2004 12:12 PM

No surf this weekend; the break in Connecticut was toenail-to-toe-knuckle-high, and all close-outs.

As of this week I have that academic summertime freedom, so I would appreciate some waves, please, and some space in between them, too, if you don't mind.

On Thursday night I watched the first twenty minutes of "Point Break" on cable--Keanu ("Johnny Utah") breaks the surfing bank-robber ring. The acting and direction is so flagrantly bad that you have to wonder if this was some kind of tax write-off vehicle. Not even the promise of surfing footage could keep me from the off button. Silver lining: nothing to keep me from early to bed for a dawn session of semilunar dribblers.

Posted by: Klooless Kook at June 7, 2004 12:24 PM


Posted by: j at June 7, 2004 12:29 PM

"where the mind leads, energy will follow"

Posted by: e at June 7, 2004 12:36 PM

I couldn't take it anymore on Friday. I was dealing with a lot gloom and doom layoff stuff at work while all the reports said SC was rocking. At 2:00 I bailed and hauled butt south. Took pics at my secret spot next to the Surfing Museum and had a short session. Sorry, but Saturday was great and Sunday, while smaller, was even better. Bounced between the point and the Slot and caught a slew of waves (at least a slew for me). A few fun pics on the SurfHumor Photos 11 page. The last one below is for Kaiser.

Posted by: Bruce at June 7, 2004 12:40 PM

cool pics bruce.. thanks.
nice effort on the santa cruz mission. I guess i'll have to get over my severe aversion to the surf zone within santa cruz city limits if i want to perform an actual cutback this summer... or.. kiteboarding... hmm...

Posted by: e at June 7, 2004 12:45 PM

Bruce, nicely done. If ever your lens catches me out at OB or the like, please throw one of those in the foreground! It will make my "superman" look much better for sure.....

Posted by: Kaiser at June 7, 2004 12:46 PM

Surfable factor shall increase substantially Thursday, and even betta Friday and Saturday. Work now, for Neptune will be delivering rideable windswell later this week. Winds will turn more N/NW rather than NW, and it will be calm nearshore in the morning. Dogs will bark, joggers will job, and kiteboarders will lament.

Posted by: blakestah at June 7, 2004 12:53 PM

Hey Stah can you email me please???? Need a little forecasting help.

Sorry about my earlier post everyone, I don't mean to rub my vacation time in your face in these rought times. I'm very excited to go on walk about. I'm sure the waves will get good again soon, Friday maybe..

Posted by: mexisurf at June 7, 2004 12:55 PM

Bruce, Nice shots!!! Love the bikini in the foreground.

Posted by: mexisurf at June 7, 2004 12:57 PM

read "angels & demons" first... a great prelude to "the davinci code."

Posted by: dan brown at June 7, 2004 12:57 PM


Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at June 7, 2004 01:00 PM

Kaiser, I promise to do so. The problem will be getting all the women in the shot without a wide angle lens. I hear they line up at the beach when you paddle out!

E- you need to meet me down there some day. You won't get the zillion waves you usually catch, but it doesn't take many perfect waves to get the fix. And the common perception that the locals are aggressive I haven't found to be true. I line up consistent with my skill level, don't burn people, and smile a lot.

Of course, the Lane is sometimes pretty rough on my ego. The first shot is my friend Ken (Vern) who is my age (48) and just rips the place. This weekend guys were landing stuff that I couldn't believe. . . aerials, 360's, big floaters, tubes, you name it. Sure fun to watch.

And the other scenery is great! Of course, I'm referring the otters and sea lions. :-)

Posted by: Bruce at June 7, 2004 01:13 PM

I think you wrestle tha baloney, spot naming is waay uncool....

Posted by: cam at June 7, 2004 01:22 PM



Posted by: Don Pardoe at June 7, 2004 01:27 PM

e, your birthright sounds like quite the habitat.

I've got my eyes set on this fijian island.

but at the rate i'm saving, it'll require a couple dozen lifetimes of cube work....

anyone wanna go partners??

Posted by: rza at June 7, 2004 01:46 PM

mexisurf...ahhh...nothing like the start of a 3-month slurf-about! enjoy and post here from time-to-time so that those of us locked in cubeland can live the dream vicariously. peace.

Posted by: ck at June 7, 2004 01:54 PM

yeah mexisurf.. enjoy that shit! live it up homie!

Posted by: e at June 7, 2004 02:00 PM

Posted by: baloney at June 7, 2004 02:03 PM

I rode a few for Ronald Reagan, this weekend.

He was a good man, no matter what your politics.

I'm going to ride a few more this week for Nancy.

Posted by: tom at June 7, 2004 02:10 PM

Check this out.....

Laguna Hospital in SF is a nursing home but with SF General understaffed, gang bangers go to Laguna Hospital now........seems to be a problem.

The issue was highlighted a few days back when a 25-year-old man suspected of being a gang member, using a wheelchair and living at Laguna Honda, rolled into the TV room and changed the channel on a Giants game that a 50-year-old disabled patient was watching.

Words were exchanged, and according to a sheriff's report, the ganger suspect threatened to call his buddies and have the older patient beaten up.

Some 15 minutes later, two rather large buddies did allegedly show up.

An attendant at the nursing station heard a scream for help, ran into the TV room and found the older patient on the floor being kicked and punched.

Posted by: tom at June 7, 2004 02:16 PM

The winner is Bruce!

I don't think this is the worst wave jonesin' that niceness has seen, nobody's started spouting poetry yet. ;) You are all....going to be...okay.

No OB report - out of town - not necessary anyway, but the nuclear wind is my fault because I washed the front windows yesterday morning. Now there's maybe 4" of sand on surface. Futile.

Feeling physically weaker and starved for less windy conditions...but caught a cold so I'd be out anyway. Talked to a neighbor and he's very generously offered use of his beginner kiteboard. Ha Haaaaaa!! Weee! Never thought this opportunity would crop up so easily. I love living here. Cheers,

Posted by: s.s. sharkbait at June 7, 2004 02:17 PM

Thanks, I'll be back in Sf in a few of weeks then I'm gone again til sept.

Posted by: mexisurf at June 7, 2004 02:18 PM

wrastler-- it's all good.

Posted by: boner at June 7, 2004 02:19 PM

How would Carter have handled your family? Mondale?

Posted by: Rich Gringo at June 7, 2004 02:32 PM

Yeah, "early 90s" movies FEAATURING renegade surf outlaws, parachuteless skydives, bikini bunnies, tubing beach breaks, co ed tackle beach football AND a deeply toxic Gary Busey *REALLY SUCK*.
Of course the 1st 20 min are the ***** WORST***- but BE PATIENT 'cause I LEARN TO SURF around 60 min in.
BTW: Have several, SEVERAL AUTOGRAPHED copies of the MATRIX CHRONICLES for a very very friendly price. Pick up a ringing payphone near you and GIVE THE HUNK A CALL....(pleeassseee)

Posted by: Neo at June 7, 2004 02:32 PM

SC Tranny- Did your boards ship to and from El Sal without damage?????

Posted by: steama at June 7, 2004 02:33 PM

If ,wrastler, surfed alone in BS and no one was there to witness, did the session really take place?

Posted by: at June 7, 2004 02:35 PM

Sorry, I forgot the wildlife photography. Moments after this shot was taken, the dog jumped on the owner and dug his teeth deep into his neck. The animal control SWAT team was called in with the paramedics and they were able to subdue the vicious little creature with a tranquilizer dart. The medi-vac helicopter landed and took the owner to Santa Cruz General Hospital. Although he lost a number of pints of blood, they were able to save his life and he's out of intensive care. (OK, so I'm a bit bored with the routine crap at work.)

Posted by: Bruce at June 7, 2004 02:35 PM

I have a very hard time thinking that Jimmy Carter would have sold arms to Iran, which were used to kill innocents, in order to fund a secret war against the spread of "communisim" -Sandanistas,aka, Nicaraguan, El Salvadorans and Costa Ricans organizing their fruit workers for decent wages and benefits while growing/shipping/supplying millons of tons of fruit for US multinational corps.
Why can't we leave the rest of the world alone

Posted by: steama at June 7, 2004 02:38 PM

Poor Central American,
Nancy did a number on America too, with her "War on Drugs".

And Rich Gringo,
Look at history the situation in CA went to hell the day Reagan/ took ofice, literally the day. America had our little war in CA because they were afraid there might actually be a real Latin American Democracy. Reagan was a punk and a murderer. Anyone that goes and and surfs in CA should know what America did there... drug dealing, assasinations, genocide, rape.......

Posted by: mexisurf at June 7, 2004 02:41 PM

I respect your opinions.

But to clarify, Democratic administrations have blood on their hands as well. So someone go measure how much.

And they, like the Republicans, always will.

Unless the U.S. abandons all interests outside our borders. (Which would be impossible and foolish)

Posted by: Rich Gringo at June 7, 2004 02:56 PM

Lesser of two evils theory don't fly with me. Do you think we'd be at war with Iraq if Gore took his elected position as pres?? Or better yet how about Nader? To say that it's OK to kill that poor guy's family would have happened anyhow doesn't make it right.

Posted by: mexisurf at June 7, 2004 03:07 PM

I wasn't attempting to justify any position, especially the killing of innocents, or anyone for that matter, with a lesser of two evils argument.

I'm sorry if it upsets you. But, we elect administrations to handle U.S. Foriegn Policy.

So in that sense we all have to take some responsibility for any bloodshed around the world that can be attributed to our foriegn interests.

Is this a controversial opinion? I don't think so.

Posted by: Rich Gringo at June 7, 2004 03:20 PM

With all due respect to my colleagues' opinions, the people I know from Nicaragua feel very bad about what happened to that country. Of course, it was great for Costa Rica, since that's where everyone fled to.

While you may not agree with US interventions overseas one wonders if closing our eyes and staying home is the answer. Perhaps we should have intervened in Bosnia sooner? Was it smart to stand by while Baby Doc Duvalier did his thing in Haiti? And while US-supported governments have certainly been screwed up, it's hard to argue that places like North Korea and East Berlin represented a model for humanity. Like it or not, Regan will be remembered as a courageous leader for making the speech that brought down the wall (against the advice of the State Department who wanted to play nice).

I'm sick of this Iraq intervention, but the best estimate I read was that Saddam executed around 150,000 people between the original gulf war and our most recent escapade. So I'm not convinced that isolationism is really a progressive view.

Posted by: No so simple at June 7, 2004 03:21 PM


Posted by: elias at June 7, 2004 03:25 PM


how is the bambino?? Spring is a great time to be raizin' the newbies.. Not much to miss. Hope the fam is well. c-ya

Posted by: sf at June 7, 2004 03:26 PM

guess who is not being productive today.... me. :)

Posted by: elias at June 7, 2004 03:27 PM

me neither!

all i know is that the gipper was about a million times better at public speaking than g-dub

Posted by: bagel at June 7, 2004 03:31 PM

damn joe.. that t-poo was is friggin insane.

Posted by: e at June 7, 2004 03:38 PM

ronnie was, if nothing else, quite a spokesman:


Posted by: loon at June 7, 2004 03:39 PM

I got your Foreign Policy right here:

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at June 7, 2004 03:43 PM

Can somebody please remind me what Johnny Cash's foreign policy platform was? Can't quite remember.

Posted by: Neil Diamond at June 7, 2004 03:49 PM

don't forget reagan's role turning in his hollywood buddies during the mccarthy era.

surf in sd is a frothy mess.

she was watching from shore:

Posted by: gvibe at June 7, 2004 03:53 PM

Posted by: bagel at June 7, 2004 03:55 PM

i give up on trying to post this image:


couple o da best books:
another roadside attraction, tom robbins
in search of captain zero, alan weisbecker

Posted by: gvibe at June 7, 2004 04:01 PM

gvibe's photo

Posted by: e at June 7, 2004 04:02 PM

wasn't that guy on an urban outfitters t shirt?


Posted by: bbr at June 7, 2004 04:03 PM

south of the border last weekend.. arggh!
(jibaro pic)

Posted by: e at June 7, 2004 04:07 PM


Well. To keep the peace and set it all straight please email me a list of all the people you would like me to "ride a few" for...

It doesn't matter how long the list get's....you can count on me to make sure I get to all the names.

Posted by: tom at June 7, 2004 04:10 PM

I don't want to be politically incorrect, but there is nothing butt-uglier than a hairy guy in a slip. Kaiser is now required to post a photo of a pretty woman in order to purge the pink slip from our collective memory.

Sharkbait, can you explain to the guys what women could possibly find attractive about men? I mean, we do well at parallel parking but other than that. . .

Posted by: Bruce at June 7, 2004 04:12 PM


KEEP PICKIN' up my stool and baggin' it

Posted by: woof! at June 7, 2004 04:13 PM

that's funny.

somebody named Mrs. Manamara just emailed me. She want's me to ride a few for her son.

Something about some reef in the South Pacific....

Posted by: tom at June 7, 2004 04:15 PM

to make up for that last one:

Posted by: gvibe at June 7, 2004 04:21 PM

How to Make Love to a Cock
(A Blowjob To Die For)

Lets face it, men love blowjobs. And a woman who knows how to give a good one can make a man her sex slave forever. Don't get me wrong, a man will be happy any time he gets his cock sucked, but it takes technique and creativity to cause him to buy you a dozen roses afterwards.
I should preface this by saying that all the technique in the world will do you no good if you don't really enjoy what your doing. So you either have to love your man, or love sucking cock, or put yourself on a mission to make this man never forget you if he lives to be 200.

Pay attention, I'm about to help you enter the sexual hall of fame.

The first thing you need to do is let your man know that this is just for him. He need not do anything but enjoy it. Sit him down and slowly strip off your clothes. Stand far enough away that he can look, but not touch. Not just yet. Walk over to him, stand him up, and slowly remove his shirt, kissing the exposed skin as you do. Kiss his shoulders, his neck, and work your way down his chest. Run your tongue over his nipples, if he likes that. (Not all men do). Then let your kisses trail down his stomach, getting on your knees as you do this.

Run your hands up his thighs, and over the bulge in his pants as you reach to undo his zipper. Just before unzipping him, lean in and gently scrape your teeth against his cock, which by now, should be begging to be released. Undo his pants, slide them down his legs, and remove them, making sure you keep your hands in contact with his skin as you do.

If he's wearing boxers, slide your hands up inside the legs, and run your fingers through his pubes, don't touch his cock yet. Moving your hands up to the waistband, pull the boxers off from the inside.

If he's wearing briefs, trace the outline of his cock with your fingers, or nails if you've got them, before you take them off.

If he's not wearing any underwear, well...proceed on to the next paragraph.

He is now standing in front of you, with his hard, beautiful cock staring you in the face. Caress his entire pelvic region. His thighs, his balls, his pubes, and while you're doing this, think about the pleasure that cock has given you, or is going to give you, and begin making love to it.

Start your kisses at his thighs. Moist open-mouthed kisses that include a little tongue action. Alternate from one leg to the other as you slowly move up. As you get to his balls, exhale gently so he can feel the warmth of your breath, as you lovingly run your tongue over them. Softly take one into your mouth as your tongue continues to play. Try humming while you do this, he'll love the vibrations. Gently cupping his balls in your hands run your tongue over both of them, licking, kissing, and gently sucking. Men love having their balls played with and a lot of women don't pay enough attention to them.

As you end "playing ball" take notice of his cock which should be softly grazing your cheek. I love the feel of that. So hard and so smooth. Take his cock in your hand and slowly and softly caress your face with it, from one cheek, across your partially open lips, to the other.

Starting at the base of his shaft, work your way around it with hot, wet kisses. Use your tongue while you're kissing, getting him very wet. Cover every inch of his cock as you work your way up towards the head. Then point the tip of your tongue and go right underneath the head. This is where he is most sensitive. Especially on the underside of his dick. Use your tongue to flick it right under the head.

Keep working on the shaft getting it as wet as possible, sliding your open mouth all over it. Then take your tongue and run circles along the head, using the tip of your tongue to play with the hole. Keep your tongue circling as you gently place your lips over the head and suck it in slowly, taking no more than just the head at first, and just suck on it. Slowly start moving your mouth down, only about 1/4 of the way and slide it back up, keeping the head in your mouth. Slide down again, only farther this time and come back up, again keeping the head completely in your mouth. You never want to lose complete contact. This goes for your hands as well, They should be either holding his cock, or caressing his legs and ass, anywhere you want, as long as you're touching him. Now, look up at him, and keeping your eyes locked with his, slowly slide your mouth down as far as you can go. Chances are he'll break the stare as his eyes close with pleasure.

When you feel him hit the back of your throat, stop and relax. This will give your gag reflex time to adjust. Once you've relaxed your throat, very simply, swallow. Don't worry, you won't choke. What you will do though, is constrict your throat muscles around the head of his cock. Even if you don't take it any further down, each time you swallow, you'll tighten around him. You'll know you're doing it right as you hear the moans of pleasure and gratitude he'll be emitting.

Now is the time to really start working him. Pick up speed. Slide your mouth up and down his cock faster. If you can't take it all down, then wrapping your hand around the base of his cock, slide it in unison with your mouth. This will give you less to take and still give him complete stimulation.

There are different techniques you can use while felating him. You don't want to just be sliding your mouth up and down. One thing you should try is sucking deeply on the upstroke. This is called "the vacuum" and it does a hell of a number on them. Another is to swirl your tongue around as you're mouth fucking him, this gives him 2 different sensations at once. If you're using your hand while you're sucking, don't just move it up and down, twist it as you're stroking. Not hard, you don't want to twist his cock. But he should be wet enough that your hand should easily slip and slide all around. Same thing with your head. Don't just keep it in one position, tilt it from side to side so he can feel your lips sliding around as you suck him deeply.

If he takes a while to reach orgasm, there will come a point where your mouth will begin to get tired and you may feel lockjaw settling in. Not to worry, there is a trick to resting your mouth and still keeping him stimulated. Take his cock out of your mouth, but keep your lips on it by running them along the side of the shaft. Use your tongue and hands on him. If you have to totally rest your mouth, then keep the motion going with your hands. Use this time to jerk him hard and fast with the head of his cock either aiming at or just touching your lips. After giving your mouth a few minutes of rest, you're ready to get back in action.

The moment of truth...his orgasm. Don't panic. Most men will let you know when they are about to cum. If they don't do it verbally, then pay attention to the signs. You'll begin to feel his cock swell and throb in your mouth. His legs may tense up, and you may hear vocal signs as well. At this point, you have two options. To swallow or not to swallow, that is the question. You will know ahead of time if you want him to cum in your mouth or not, so be prepared for it. I have my own theory on this and not everyone will agree, but if you're not going to swallow, then don't have him cum in your mouth. Nothing kills the mood like you making this awful face and running for something to spit it out into. If you don't want to swallow, then when you feel him getting close, take him out of your mouth and use your hand, letting him cum on you. You may not want it on your face, contrary to men's beliefs and fantasies, not all women are into that, but having him cum on your breasts is also exciting. Men love to see their cum all over you, so make it even more exciting for him by rubbing it over your nipples and into your breasts. If you're not totally opposed to it, take some on your finger and either put it into your mouth or just rub it on your lips. Remember, the more you please him, the more he will want to return the favor.

If you do swallow, you can gently squeeze his balls as he's getting ready to cum, or squeeze his ass, or if he likes it, gently side your finger into his ass. This turns a lot of men on. Suck deeply as he's cuming and don't take your mouth away until you're sure he's done.

I usually keep going until they beg me to stop because they get too sensitive. A real turn on is to keep some of it in your mouth and as he pulls out, let it trickle out. Drives them crazy.

So there you have it, a blowjob to die for. Just remember to make him aware that you need to get as good as you give. And since you've just driven him to ecstasy and beyond, he should have no problem at all with that.

Posted by: nancy reagan at June 7, 2004 04:37 PM

The 'Stah's right about the going south thing. Raced down to the east side of SC this morning for a two-hour session followed by a mad dash back to the city. Caught a bazillion waves. Easily the best session I've had for quite a while.

Oh and that 'Cupping" and acupuncture stuff really sorted my back and shoulders out. The bruises still look dam weird, but no problems any more.

Incidentally, if anyone is thinking of making the trip down south, you might want to do it today or Wednesday. On Thurs, the kids are all out of school.....

Posted by: limevoodoo at June 7, 2004 04:48 PM

but you are gay if you posted that

Posted by: not that there is anything wrong with it at June 7, 2004 04:48 PM

Bruce made me do it...

It ain't my fault....

Posted by: Kaiser at June 7, 2004 04:54 PM

Posted by: at June 7, 2004 05:35 PM

Posted by: at June 7, 2004 05:35 PM

Tom may have rode one for ronnie, I'm gonna burn one for Nancy. talk about mis-guided wars...

and whats with the porn post? sheesh, enough already.

Posted by: good riddance to bad ideologues at June 7, 2004 05:45 PM

Time for the delete key, Ethan. I must admit that a good oral sex description is fun. But a woman or a man posting this stuff can be pretty gross depending on your gender and "orientation."

Can we go back to talking about surfing?

Either that or I'm going to tell some great stories about that time. . .

Posted by: Regular at June 7, 2004 06:27 PM

OK- I'm swamping the political posts and sex stuff with photos from this weekend. Go out there and get some! Just don't laugh at the old guy on short boards.

Posted by: Bruce at June 7, 2004 07:09 PM

Alright back to surfing.

FUCK BUSH/ Cheney... The ASSES of Evil

Posted by: mexisurf at June 7, 2004 07:24 PM

sf...thanks for asking...the bambino...good. the two year old...kicking our ASSESS!! Literally and figuritively. Don't you just hate when you type a nice long, post only to hit some key accidentally and lose the whole damn thing. Just happened to me. Fark. Anyhoo...spring is definitely the time to have the babies. So potential parents...think July/August...like rabbits...like rabbits.

cormac mcarthy---read blood meridian...fantastic
dan brown...line of coke...great analogy
umberto eco...haven't been able to muster the energy yet
focoult and his pendulum...in my pile to read
ronnie reagan...tore down at least one wall...leaders are doomed to be second guessed
bagel...love the johnny cash photo
mullets in neglige...priceless, who thinks this shit up?
mexi...mali baby...timbuktu is so been there, done that....kidding...just have fun and stay safe
e...you fucking rock
bush/cheney...you fucking sock


Posted by: jdz at June 7, 2004 09:10 PM

one more thing...anytime someone wants to post a spot name...instead of that name why don't we use something like, hmmm, "kaisers ass". For example, "i paddled out at "kaisers ass" yesterday. Was all by myself for about three hours...but damn the stench." It doesn't have to be just kaisers ass either. could be bagels ass, mexi's ass...you get the idea. No, i'm not gay...just sleep deprived. see post re: the bambino above.

Posted by: jdz at June 7, 2004 09:14 PM

Why we gotta use my name? What up with the hate?

Posted by: Kaiser at June 7, 2004 09:23 PM

what does it say about us that we check this damn board so late???? kaiser...no hate...honor man...honor. or maybe for some reason i just equate your name with ass. wait, don't you post some pics occassionally...you've totally trained me to see women's asses when i read your name...weird...very pavlovian.

Posted by: jdz at June 7, 2004 10:01 PM

When I grow up I want to take pictures like Mexisurf. Great stuff, amigo.

What does it say about us that we're checking this blog at 5:45 am?

Posted by: Bruce at June 8, 2004 05:48 AM

changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes. its time to go latin folks

Posted by: davenada at June 8, 2004 09:24 AM

Responding to Steama:
Yes my boards made it to EL Sal without any dings...I actually haven't checked them since my return on Sunday (still in the board bag.) I packed a thin piece of foam between the boards, and another at the nose and tail respectively. I wrapped my beach towel around the outside of both boards and tossed in my rash guard and reef booties. I wrapped my fins in cardboard sandwich and placed into board bag...I didn't want to place fins in my suitcase just in case my boards made it and my suitcase got lost in transit. Good luck!

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