E's Surf Report: crazy shenanigans

well.. i finally have something somewhat interesting to report on this here surf site.. Cruised down to FPers this morning.. saw the road was closed but drove down anyway.. parked in front of the warming hut and walked down to the pier to check it.. empty glassy head-high waves wrapping in and peeling along.. nobody out.. walked back to my car and three police officers are standing there, writing down my plate number, etc.. they ask for my ID and say the road is closed and they have to check to see if there is a warrent out for my arrest.. waiting.. waiting.. one cop asks the typical questions, " You're a surfer huh? Isn't it cold out there? Those waves don't look that big. I want to surf someday. etc.. " Finally they're convinced that i'm not an escaped ax murderer and the guy says that i can park in the little lot behind the warming hut.. huh!!! i thought for sure that they would kick me out.. but.. hmm.. soo.. I parked over behind crissy fields and put my wetty on.. slanked all ninja like down to the beach and paddled out just to the west of the pier.. Giggling with stoke at the empty waves ahead but also from excitement at my commando mission.. Get out to the lineup and nobody bothers me.. Bunch of Marine dudes in fatiques, sporting machine guns on land but they don't say anything. Surf FPers for 90 minutes.. catch a bunch of fun, racy, classic Fort Point rides.. Got clamped shut into one barrel. Suffered a bunch of ugly wipeouts. Executed a few snappy off-the-tops.. The swell is still in the water, though noticeably diminished from yesterday morning. Soo.. then.. i hear this person scream at me through a megaphone, "SURFER, GET OUT OF THE WATER!! NOW!!".. Turns out it was the 5.0.. the man.. the pigs.. the powers that be, demanding that i desist from peacefully recreating in mom ocean. I learned from yesterday (yeah.. that mysto spot i surfed was really FPers.. tee hee.. sorry guys) that i wasn't allowed to get out of the water anywhere near the Fort.. soo.. i paddled all the way back to the pier.. the cop slowly following me in his car the whole way.. i took a few looks back over my shoulder to watch unridden, glassy set waves break smoothly along the point.. grrr!!! I get out of the water and the cop yells at me, "PUT DOWN YOUR BOARD!!! NOW!!!".. umm.. shit.. ok.. soo i put down my board on the rocks.. "PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND SLOWLY COME HERE!!!".. So i climb up the rocks and he proceeds to grill me about surfing in a restricted, closed area.. then he makes me go to my car to get my ID.. then he runs the same check that the other cop did.. i'm waiting and waiting.. then he gives me a fucking $50 ticket!!!! yup!!! that little biatch-cop gave me a $50 ticket for surfing! He wasn't really the type of cop you argue with.. so i just shut my mouth and got out of there.. I'm going to fight the ticket, however, because the other cop let me park in the crissy field lot, and there were no posted signs saying that the ocean was off-limits..

anyway.. that's the scoop!

anybody else score?