back from the beyond

e | Thursday, December 11th, 2008

Yo surf freaks!
Hope everyone out there is enjoying this splendid surf season.
Today witnessed some Nor-Pac juice alight our shores.
Personally i preferred yesterday’s mellow, glassy, offshore sweetness.
I made a conscious decision to get in the barrel, as conditions
seriously would never be better for this junior varsity surfer to
clock barrel time.
I tried to slow myself on takeoffs..
I grabbed the wall with my hand.. both backside and front.
I really tried to zone into the wave and get under the pitching lip.
But.. sadly… i only managed a few close-out, lip-launching-over moments.
Still super fun though!!

Saw some niceness old-timers BVB and Slayer slashing serious arcs in the water today.
Always humbling to surf with the old-school shredders.

I know some of you out there have been scouring the coast lately.
Scoring those rare birds that only fire with E winds and pumping WNW groundswell.
Someone told me about a little spot north of here.
A rare point-break that only works on NE winds and a really high tide.
He drove up overnight when conditions looked right.
The next morning.. after camping in an Ewok glen of old-growth forest…
dude hiked out to the spot and saw lines wrapping in.
Two old salty-dog longboarders were climbing down the trail… hooting.
They looked at my friend… climbing out of his tent… and said, “Ya picked the right night to camp here!”
He ended up surfing for 3 hours on his pavel fish… until the tide dropped too low and the rocks went
from fin-scraping to board-crunching.

Another guy i know had been waiting on this one spot for a few years.
He’s a techy guy, obsessed with google-earth surf-spot exploration.
He was convinced that a spot not too far from here would fire with the right
SW swell direction and light E winds.
I’d driven by this spot probably 100 times and hadn’t even really given it much thought,
Not because the coastal contour didn’t look promising… but because of the serious tooth presence in this area.
I’m talking “we need a bigger boat!” sharky.
Anyway my boy cruised out there with a friend one particular recent morning.
He said the lefts were, “all-time, bro!”
He said he and his friend surfed 4 sessions in one day.
All at the same spot.
They’d surf for an hour… come in… light one up.
Gaze out at the perfect lines reeling in.. Suit back-up..
and surf again.

Soo.. sessions are happening every day.
Most of us sit in our cubes.. tickling the keys… scrambling for our dawn-patrols or
end of the day city surfs… while others work seasonal jobs… sell their
software companies.. pimp their hos… gigolo in Brazil… sling pizzas all night…
and score righteous pristine autumnal California gold.




  1. testing

    Comment by e — December 11, 2008 @ 7:42 pm

  2. Sho’ nuff is quiet round here.

    Comment by Dennis — December 12, 2008 @ 2:58 pm

  3. Dennis! you in hawaii? I’m headed to the big island tomorrow. stoked.

    Comment by e — December 14, 2008 @ 2:39 pm

  4. Have a great trip E. Shred with Shane.

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — December 14, 2008 @ 9:46 pm

  5. thanks 3to5… literally cab outside right now.. psyched.

    Comment by e — December 15, 2008 @ 11:34 am

  6. for your perusing pleasure

    Comment by shoulder hopper — December 17, 2008 @ 12:06 pm

  7. Hope you get some good waves E.

    Lots of VOG out here right now. Musta affected the Hawaii marathon runners, but I heard no complaints. The race began right at my doorstep. At 3 AM, the streets were jam-packed with cheering, bare-legged folks wearing yellow ponchos to ward off the occasional downpours of rain. Fireworks off my lanai at 5 AM. Nice for me, cuz I’m usually up at 5 AM.

    South Shore has been mostly flat. Now that the contests are all but over, time to start trekkiing North again. Surfed at Lani’s a few times. Saw Dino Miranda ripping on a longboard doing 360’s. Good waves, good vibes, warm water, and cute surfer girls in bikinis. My life does not suck.

    Comment by Dennis — December 17, 2008 @ 6:17 pm

  8. Comment by cadaver — December 20, 2008 @ 4:14 pm

  9. Pussyman here arms flailing; my left leg hurts but I am still pumping hard on the soft pillow with my dog. Beeep. Cookies are done!
    Warm Blakestah freakmeat on the Surfer boardBBB. What a dork.

    All hash here, a glut on the market of forgetting, fear and flatness. All depressing like poverty or some sad sack Mission scene. A loud bar full of 25-35 somethings - a fight broke out and the old men took the trendy little shits to task.
    A shout out to the tilted earth and spent time on the Gay Area Merry- Go - Round.

    Boards will be burned tonight in honor of no one here.

    Comment by Man Ape — December 21, 2008 @ 10:04 am

  10. Comment by cadaver — December 23, 2008 @ 3:16 pm

  11. fark ya. just back from a 4 day SUP trek along the coast. we paddled to spots camped and surfed. oars rule. should have seen the looks on the faces of the zodiac jet ski crew when we paddled into the cove of that reef break. it was only the beginning we told them. the days of the prone surfer are numbered…….

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — January 2, 2009 @ 9:03 am

  12. Comment by cadaver — January 3, 2009 @ 12:40 pm

  13. E - Move your car.

    Just back from Shelter Cove where where Donny and myself SUPeed our way all the way in. A laborous paddle of 10 miles but worth every golden moment when we reached our wave destination. AWwwwwwSOME - Count me in!

    Comment by Man Ape — January 4, 2009 @ 8:56 am

  14. ManApe, Nice sailboat you got there. I’d actually like to talk to you about something, send me an email if you could.

    That picture a the guy and gal is very disturbing.

    Comment by mexi — January 5, 2009 @ 1:28 pm

  15. Non locals stoners and alchomoholics beware. Not since the times of a once fabled bullshit surf …
    pretty fricking hilarious.
    Thanks and a shout out to the person responsible.

    An 18 year old kid owned the boat. One of his semen fell overboard and they looked for him in the water beyond the surf. Sunset. Darkness. Darkness. With a wail and a shout the overboard youth made it back to the boat. Too late, the waves battered the boat to shore and there she sits. A hefty fine each and every day. 25,000.00 salvage. And so it was left to be vandalized and tagged.
    Nice work.

    Mexi man if you need to get a hold of me it had better be about surf photography because i HAVE other photographers.

    Comment by Man Ape — January 5, 2009 @ 9:08 pm

  16. 415.

    Comment by Man Ape — January 5, 2009 @ 9:09 pm

  17. Man Ape, I’m sure the surf paparazzi is all over you I’ll let them do their thing. Email Me.

    Comment by mexi — January 5, 2009 @ 9:32 pm

  18. Damn E what happened to the commitment to this blog? I’m here land locked i rain..with the occasional skate session and trip to mini mountains and you guys are getting good surf daily…Where are the wacks, slaps, gashes, tubes etc? Well its better for me a I delusionally think that everyone @ OB is getting skunked

    Comment by pezzolla — January 7, 2009 @ 10:05 am

  19. Anyone remember this guy? The Colonel? I think he posted on here a couple times back in the day.

    Check out his two most recent posts. Actually, check out all of his posts. Really great reads, but I especially like the two new ones.

    Comment by Seascum — January 8, 2009 @ 2:44 am

  20. Comment by cadaver — January 9, 2009 @ 10:34 pm

  21. I dont get that one cadaver? Is that E?

    Comment by pezzolla — January 10, 2009 @ 9:09 pm

  22. hi pez, it’s a pic of me right after a shower and my hair still a little wet

    Comment by cadaver — January 11, 2009 @ 10:05 pm

  23. burp!

    e, where are the tales of organic salads and house parties big island stylee? fake tales of Hilo?

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — January 12, 2009 @ 12:17 pm

  24. Comment by cadaver — January 12, 2009 @ 5:51 pm

  25. Pez: I wanted to get back to you. From one GAY capital to the next. The surf has been dredged.
    Sure. A lot of new people. Hundreds, thousands, chicks, dudes, jocks, yuppies, celebrities, young punks, young fukcs, lesbians, gay dudes, country singers - you name it.
    I watched no less than 12 guys get blasted for cherry picking in the pit. I tried to warn them. In a year or two they will figure it out. Best thing was the guy on a really neat looking million dollar graphite board with a BMW logo on it - swear to god. So the guy is ok paddling and actually kept position underneath me to my left, about 8 other dudes trying to stay with the grueling current and random peaks.. I gave him one, two, three chances to drop in. The last time he pulled out he looked real scared and then I said, - fuck, man, drop in for Christs sake. Next bomb comes in and he points his fancy board shoreward and gets unloaded upon and is no more.
    Culturally I have had it with the Chinese in this town. Sure seems like us vs. them around here. The Russians too, they kinda suck. You try to help these people by being nice, polite, helpful and you get nothing in return. Nice. Not racist. Fact. CALIFORNIA MAN CALIFORNIA.
    Everyone else like us is grouchy, even the well-to-do.
    How is the Vancouver Burrito Shack biz going?

    Comment by Man Ape — January 13, 2009 @ 10:53 am

  26. Tied to the mast of the beached and looted boat at Quintara is a rubber phallus.

    I wonder how long till all of the Sunset breathes in the smokey remains of that craft.

    Comment by duncan — January 13, 2009 @ 2:45 pm

  27. Comment by cadaver — January 14, 2009 @ 11:22 pm

  28. EternalFlamewad.
    A curious mind.
    Dorkman on ocean

    Comment by Man Ape — January 15, 2009 @ 9:26 am

  29. you swell and ache with desire.
    you wait, doing all the right things in preparation
    you feel it in your chakras
    you are holding out waiting for the right moment to consumate
    ready to burst, explode.
    faint indicators. the tea leaves suggest
    heavy feeling of anticipation………..
    today, tomorrow, the next day.?
    when will it happen
    when will I taste your salt
    when will I come to meet your glorious pulsating folds.

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — January 15, 2009 @ 10:09 am

  30. Man Paddle
    Flaming Stick.
    Sand Face.

    Meandering meaning.
    Stories Unfold.

    Fat Baja Jabber.
    SUP Ball Wacker
    Surfer Magazine.

    BloGger Farter
    Doof Master.
    Nep Trigger Niggah.

    Buffooned Loner
    A bONER
    Still a Loner

    A Boat
    A Magazine
    Someone Burn

    Burn the Boat
    Before the Tide
    And Trouble


    Comment by Man Ape — January 15, 2009 @ 8:03 pm

  31. Comment by cadaver — January 17, 2009 @ 4:22 pm

  32. Gluttony is a sin!

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — January 20, 2009 @ 2:17 pm

  33. Can we get an update here or what?

    Man Ape - what gave with the sailboat? Did you forget to tie rope or what? INQUIRING minds want to know.

    Comment by Kaiser — January 21, 2009 @ 9:51 pm

  34. Flattened tires. Waxed windows.
    Beefs. I received a call yesterday morning, from Hawaii no less, regarding a missing person. A friend of a friend of a friend of mine surfed late, - until dark. A set hit in front of him and to his amazement he saw a board rolling in free of the surfer.
    Busted leash, WC Gun, a pintail and no it was not mine. I hung up and figured all you blogging squabblers would quickly pick up the story and run with it. Bravo - you have. Over at the SURFER Blog the board tending hens and have their BV Dees all in bunch about the same said board.
    Yes. Ward has blog.
    The boat was apparently some ones idea of an art installation. I was told as much by another group of contacts entirely removed from this pat-me-on-the- back like a dog - did you see my wave - surfing world.
    My hope is that the tides of Spring and an unusually large NWest swell will wash everything away including the first row of homes all along the Great Highway.

    Comment by Man Ape — January 22, 2009 @ 9:32 am

  35. Besides the missing WC, I suppose we now have the 411 on the boat.

    I did get a nice smile out of seeing the ‘art installation’ until it was not there. I was beginning to like it actually.

    Comment by Kaiser — January 23, 2009 @ 9:30 pm

  36. It’s probably only a coincidence that all the niceness left the beach about the same time that Bad Vibe’s Yacht Sales closed for the season.

    Comment by Spiderman — January 24, 2009 @ 7:44 am

  37. Comment by cadaver — January 24, 2009 @ 9:54 am

  38. It gets to the point in life where maybe you should shoot your ugly ass hairy dick off seeing as how it is of absolutely no use to anyone outside of yourselfish surfing lifestyle.
    DickbuttkisssurfedSloat on the last friday of the so called season. There are photos of you
    I see you.

    Comment by Man Ape — January 25, 2009 @ 7:49 pm

  39. My new pumpkinseed, 7′-0″ x 19-1/4″ tri-fin, custom shaped by Jeff Lausch.

    Comment by cadaver — January 27, 2009 @ 4:18 pm

  40. Medical.

    Comment by doc — January 27, 2009 @ 7:04 pm

  41. It just ain’t right Cadaver - the picture you posted of that surfboard. It’s like Marilyn Manson singing a Julio Eglesias love ballad. Make it GO AWAY!!!!!!

    Comment by Dennis — January 28, 2009 @ 2:58 pm

  42. Dennis, did your shroom ride stop yet? Be sure to drink water. Sorry, I can make ‘em come, but I can’t make ‘em go.

    Comment by cadaver — January 29, 2009 @ 1:01 pm

  43. That’s a sick board Cadaver.

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — January 29, 2009 @ 4:55 pm

  44. Alien board alien beings. Human beans whirling around on a globe of water. Fat ass. Skinny fuck. Rich bitch, Manho.
    We have a new place. A million dollar view from way up top. The waves the waves, they are magnifeicent. Heavensent. My bro. My bro. You surf so well. Shaka brah - nice wave and btw
    have you seen Fuckface, is he around.

    Comment by Man Ape — January 29, 2009 @ 7:11 pm

  45. Fat Asser got a bomb, the biggest wave since arriving to the West Coast. Headed to L.A. for a party and then back for TouroOBeurotrannytranspLant sponsored by WISE. NOR CAL.COM. SURFLINE. COM, PEDRO POINT WAVE HUNTERS, LINDA MARVIN TUBEMASTERS.

    All hail the myth of a wave. All hail the myth of glory and eternal youth. Hurrah hurrah. OB

    Comment by Man Ape — January 29, 2009 @ 7:21 pm

  46. Comment by cadaver — January 30, 2009 @ 11:38 am

  47. cadaver you clearly spend as much time browsing the net collecting fucked up pics as ape man spends smokin’ crack.

    why dont you take your curled toes, and your hairy bald gun freak, and your board porn, and your rat cat, and you take it all away…

    Comment by Cbrody — January 30, 2009 @ 8:43 pm

  48. Hey Crybrahdaho: I saw your wave! Magnificent. Awesome. Amazing!
    Truly inspirational!
    BTW - I was right behind you at The Pizza Place when you were jabbering about all the things that make you the most bitchen surfer around!

    Comment by Man Ape — January 31, 2009 @ 8:50 am

  49. Cryhodeehoho:


    Comment by Man Ape — January 31, 2009 @ 9:51 am

  50. Comment by cadaver — February 3, 2009 @ 11:35 am

  51. That looks like Casino Pier in Seaside Heights, NJ. Don’t recognize the toes…

    Comment by Dennis — February 6, 2009 @ 2:08 pm

  52. Comment by cadaver — February 10, 2009 @ 9:32 pm

  53. Wtf.

    Comment by Man Ape — February 11, 2009 @ 12:14 pm

  54. Thanks for the link to the surfermag blog. What a strange fetish, both.
    Can we get back to our regularly scheduled broadcast of fear and loathing in SF.

    Guest 28-Nov-2008 19:26
    This place is such a soap opera.
    Guest 22-Nov-2008 03:53
    ummm…i witnessed the kook douche bro call the cops on some irish looking kid driving a white tacoma. sure, the kid pestered the douche, but he ran like a little bitch to the cops. coward. the kooks douches dont even realize that this spot had a pecking order for decades before their unfortunate arrival. i refuse to even surf the spot because of its bullshit…but i watch it often. localism, like it or not, exists. the kook douches are certainly not locals. nor will they ever be. psychotic behavior doesnt yield respect or compensate. it simply enhances the point that they dont belong at this local spot.
    Guest 14-Nov-2008 21:47
    Nice going buddy no one likes a taddle-tail. I bet you were the kid in school that always told on everyone and reminded the teacher to assign the class homework over the weekend. Firstly most of us know that what your whining about is mostly b.s. secondly, though he might be aggressive, people like that help keep the sport pure. They help maintain order. There has to be some order.
    When you step off land you’re entering a sacred abstract environment and participating in an ancient tribal pastime, don’t expect the rules from your cubicle job to apply. Real surfers regulate themselves. Getting the cops involved because you’re too low in the pecking order to handle a conflict yourself is beyond lame. The person your talking about, in addition to 95% of surfers people consider “aggro” or “assholes”, don’t bother people that actually know how to surf, or that stick to surf breaks suited to their appropriate skill-level. Simple solution: DON’T SURF BEYOND YOUR ABILITY! DON’T CROWD THE PEAK! SHOW RESPECT! Somewhere along the line all you weekend warrior sudo-surfer wannabe’s missed the fundamentals. Get with the program, otherwise every break will rapidly become a complete kooktopia with people being rushed to the hospital every day with smashed faces from kooks bailing their boards and running people over (it’s already happening).
    Based on your use of big words like “labile” you’re obviously educated, so how about educating yourself on the sport of surfing and it’s historical foundation. Surfing is a tribal sport with primal underpinnings. Even in ancient times certain surfing zones were designated by class and skill level. If a commoner or beginner surfer paddled into a surf area designated for royalty or experienced (Kahuna) surfers they would be severely punished, occasionally, by death. The point? RESPECT! and some humility. Respect for the sport, respect for its heritage, enough respect to learn the rules, and a little humility to surf where you belong. Without people like the guy you’re trying to have people snitch on surfing will become a total pathetic clown festival. Stop attempting to destroy the greatest sport of all time and consider manning-up! In the water it’s survival of the fittest. Go to Lindamar if you don’t want a hassle.
    Guest 02-Nov-2008 15:38
    The guy on the orange board is one of the Kook Brothers, I believe that his name is James Breunid. He has been the perpretator of multiple physical assaults at the Fort and elsewhere.If you have an altercation w/ him, please call the Park Police (or 911.) Sooner or later, hopefully sooner, he will be arrested and even banned from accessing the waves at the Fort. Be careful, he demonstrates violent sociopathic behavior and is extremely labile. Any threats, gestures or physical contact is sufficient for prosecution. Report him and help clean up our spot.

    Comment by Man Ape — February 11, 2009 @ 4:39 pm

  55. Crack Head Bobman, next time I see you out at OB Im calling the cops…

    get some help!

    Comment by Cbrody — February 13, 2009 @ 9:08 pm

  56. “Would you teach me about Surfing, Don Roberto?”

    “Whatchoo wanna know bout Surfin for?”

    “I don’t know, I just want to know. I’m curious, I guess. I think it has anthropological significance. It looks hep.”

    “Hey, no way I’m jus gonna lay out fer ya all this stuff what I know jus cuz you got some kinda itch. It’s heavy out there, y’know what I mean, kid? It’s heavy.”

    He looked out at the ocean. We were on his patio out back of his simple yet typical ticky-tack Malibu Beach bungalow. The ocean was calm, though the surf in front of his place was just “shore pound” anyway.

    “But I want to know about it, Don Roberto. Probably you felt the same when you were a kid.”

    “Schpaaaa!” he said and spat. “Are you kiddin? I got in me one sixty-fourth Hawaiiana and one-third Topangan. How kin ya kimpair? I know where yer at, kid; I checked ya’ out.”

    “You what?”

    “I checked ya’ owwwt. I seen yer hair.” He looked out to sea.

    “You mean you investigated me?”

    “I mean I seen your hair, shorty.”

    December 4, 1965

    I stayed with Don Roberto all day Friday. I had an exam and wanted to get back to study over the week-end and get plenty of rest. Remedial English was my worst subject.

    I asked him again if he’d teach me about Surfing.

    “Hey, kid: you wanna know bout Surfin, you surf. You don’t surf, you don’t know nothin ’bout Surfin. It takes unbendin’ intent, y’know? A Soifa knows a wave’s a wave’s a wave’s an at any minnit it can swatcha!” He made a sudden ax-like movement with his hand and at that exact instant a wave dumped out front. I nearly fainted; I was sweating profoundly. Then he looked at me, took a swig from his can of Buckhorn beer, and belched.

    He said that there was a way, however, and presented me with a problem. There was a spot on his patio, he said, that was different for me than any other spot. He said it was called my “take-off” spot, and if I found it I’d have plenty of “juice.” Where I was, he said, I was just “burning up amps.” I immediately felt exhausted and my back ached. He suggested I try to sense this spot.

    I began to move around his patio, in and out of the hazy sunlight, up near the back door and down near the steps. I tried his chez lounge and the folding aluminum chair and the canvas chair with the ripped seat and under the picnic table, but it all felt pretty much the same. After a while Don Roberto went into the house for another beer.

    I moved carefully over the patio for most of the afternoon, and then around sunset I noticed a place that had a different coloration: a kind of dark greenness. I sat down there cross-legged and watched the sun sinking into the smog. Suddenly the whole scene was transformed into a huge tide of chili beans that threatened to engulf the coast. The crash of a junky five-foot wave brought me back.

    I hurried into the house to tell Don Roberto what had happened. He was asleep in front of the TV. The Dating Game was on, and I noticed that the floor in his house was covered with sand. It was so deep, it was like the beach, and must have been years of accumulation. I sat and watched TV a while, took a few sips of his warm Buckhorn, then wandered out onto the patio, again feeling immensely depressed. How could I get a date with a Surfer Girl when I didn’t know how to surf? How could I learn about Surfing if Don Roberto was always passing out in front of the TV?

    Absorbed in these thoughts, I absent-mindedly sat down on the grate of the brick barbecue. Almost immediately I experienced a surge of “juice” and a sense of well-being. I leaned back as if into an armchair. I fell asleep.

    “Heyyyy! Nice goin, kid! Ya found the spot!” It was Don Roberto. He reached out and touched my shoulder. I thought he was congratulating me, but he was trying to pull me out of the barbeque so he could lay in some briquets.

    “Outta my barbaque,” he said.

    Comment by Man Ape — February 14, 2009 @ 3:21 pm

  57. Comment by cadaver — February 21, 2009 @ 2:41 pm

  58. Those fucking feet suck wad. Thanks for the meal Cadaver. E, et. al..

    So the desperate bastards are hanging on. Crusteons crawiling backwards in time searching for some kind of mana food that can sustain them. All fucked fuckers. All bro for bro here. Aint nobody gunna let you in. The trumpet sounds for Spring and you got whatcha got and she?s over. Stake your claim you wasted, let out, bloody mess of a fucked up game. Those of you that thought, that thought, that had the audacity and maybe another season in the future may come. Let not your children walk upon the unspoiled sands.


    Comment by Man Ape — February 26, 2009 @ 7:07 pm

  59. There.

    Comment by Man Ape — February 26, 2009 @ 7:08 pm

  60. This guy is ripping while not eating pussy and smoking sa ganja. Feel real. Mana sake. Mana white man.

    Comment by Man Ape — February 26, 2009 @ 7:10 pm

  61. Yeah! Hoot. Hooters!

    Comment by Man Ape — February 26, 2009 @ 7:12 pm

  62. Yeah! Comes to you in a nice package of debt and fear. Hurrah!

    Circle of A Desperate Place Gone

    Comment by Man Ape — February 26, 2009 @ 7:14 pm

  63. Pro Ho season is firing up. Psyched on seeing if the contenders can take down the champ. Even though I’m backing the champ to achieve number 10. Phenomenal sporting achievement.
    Shred, peace and love. Score and keep it quiet!

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — February 27, 2009 @ 7:55 am

  64. I smell a rat. Trouble feeling real. Pancho Kelly Harpo Cyborg Martinez Machacho.
    The beat down; blood rule. The devils voice in the background - heavy gnarls with the spawn of the Sunset.

    Been waiting for the neighborhood to be taken over by a bunch of foreign inbred gangster thieves. Nicenessnomore.

    B.V.B. R.I.P.

    Comment by Man Ape — March 2, 2009 @ 7:10 pm

  65. I got sucked out at the Fort a few years ago. Probably one of the biggest days I’ve ever seen there. Everyone was at the other spot inside the bay. I was out with one other gut in an outgoing tide. A huge set swung wide and I managed to get around the shoulder but was now in the shipping lanes. Got sucked out. It was breaking big under the bridge so I tried to get into a wave but the current was too strong and I couldn’t get into a wave. In fact it was so strong they were almost like standing waves. Now well past the bridge I scanned the shore for a place to land when a couple of jet skis turn the corner at lands end and head for the bridge. I hailed one and hopped aboard. He dropped me at the Fort and I caught a wave in.

    Keep surfing no matter what.

    Posted by: kdalle on October 14, 2005 05:32 PM

    Comment by cadaver — March 3, 2009 @ 10:50 am

  66. Got stuck on a shallow to dry reef a few weeks ago at AlaMo Beach Park. Surfed on a Friday night after work until near dark. Tide went way out. The spot I normally paddle through was out of the water. Tried to find a path across 100 yard wide, urchin and eel infested reef. Kept getting stuck on coral heads. I could barely see after 1/2 hour of foward-backward-sideways crawling. Used my thumb and index finger to push off the coral so not to get stuck by urchins - and eels don’t let go. Finally made it to the channel after about 45 minutes. Total darkness when I got to the beach. The bottom of my board has gouges and multiple pressure dings. It’s good to have backups.

    Comment by Dennis — March 3, 2009 @ 1:01 pm

  67. fark ya just surf.

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — March 4, 2009 @ 4:24 pm


    Saw a guy get pulled through the outgoing current at Fort Point, also. It was about 2 years ago — that current can go up to 5 knots, like a river. There ain’t no return from that once you’re on the “conveyor belt” out the Gate. Obviously a tourist and KOOK, the guy was *howling* for assistance and his entire family was there taking pictures (moms and grands and everything) and they full-on panicked out as he was yelling, screaming, getting pulled around the point and out toward the bay. There was a huge commotion when they ran for the the end/fence (the one that abutts the Fort, where the runners turnaround) and could not follow him around the point any further. We were in the water laughing our asses off and waving and going “Bye!! Bon Voyage!! You’ll make Japan in 12 days!! See ya!!!” It was classic. The family begged for us to retrieve their son, but no local is stupid enough to venture into the river of rip on outgoing tide at the GG Bridge. The family was eventually told by a grizzled ol’ local that their precious kook boy would be deposited on the other side, near North Baker Beach. And indeed, he was. But in their minds, he was headed out toward open ocean and it was a rabid, full-on panic. Total drama. Just 100% fear of the unknownsetting in, I could empathize but at he same time, just hilarious to watch unfold. I told every friend and family member about that incident for weeks afterward.

    It’s rare that you get to see full-on BARNYARD action like that. Priceless haole entertainment…hey, some people find out the hard way…. ;^)

    HAVE A NICE WEEKEND ETHAN and all you O.B.-lovin’ monkeys…..

    Posted by: Chiaroscuro on October 14, 2005 06:05 PM

    Comment by cadaver — March 5, 2009 @ 11:52 am

  69. I have taken to surfing rights off the north tower (and btw, Cornholes exclusively) too many beachrefugeefugeefuckers clogging the Port. If you have seen my face up close it would be a shock. Because of the water I have grown barnacles on my lips and have these gnarly red spots and a ruby red rash on my once baby faced cheeks. My ass too is hella rashy.

    No news here but he locals are still totally mean and if I had not paid my dues in blood, sweat and tears I too would not be allowed to surf there. The boys will be the boys - no way around that. I will never be a true local.

    Last month the Presidio Trust unveiled a plan to close the main parking lot for three months starting March 20,09, and the Army Core of Engineers is going to redo the road leading into the place and adding more boulders near the pier.

    Hey 357, any room at Florida Mile?

    Comment by Man Ape — March 5, 2009 @ 12:14 pm

  70. I dunno about the “Florida Mile” Man Ape. Us crusty natives had to let that one go to the Vals and insta locals in the 90’s. Shame too, my favorite “right” in the county. Love the wrap on the inside bowl when it’s firing.

    Comment by 3to5setsof7 — March 5, 2009 @ 2:44 pm

  71. Yeah. I guess.
    Blistered Ass.

    Comment by Man Ape — March 8, 2009 @ 7:35 pm

  72. Comment by cadaver — March 8, 2009 @ 10:20 pm

  73. It’s interesting how much influence E has on blogging activity at this site. Once he posts a topic with a story, there’s a flurry of activity from several people. But as time goes on, the activity dies - until his next topic. This is not a commentary, just an observation.

    Comment by Dennis — March 24, 2009 @ 3:54 pm

  74. Comment by cadaver — March 25, 2009 @ 3:03 pm

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